Jetstar making inflight announcements in Singlish

From ‘Confirm plus chop: Jetstar to go Singlish for National Day’, 1 Aug 2016, article by Wong Pei Ting, Today

In-flight announcements on Jetstar Asia flights flying into Singapore will be made in Singlish on National Day this year, and this time it is not a prank.

So don’t be surprised if you hear the cabin crew saying “make sure your seatbelt kiap tight tight” or “cannot smoke anywhere hor”. The Singlish lines were first cracked as part of a joke on the eve of April Fool’s Day this year, but they will be used on flights following “an unprecedented number of requests from passengers and fans on social media”, the airline said on Monday (Aug 1).

…“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking ah! Weather along the way is quite swee. But just to be safe, please kiap your seatbelt tight hor. Thank you and enjoy your flight,” it went.

Incidentally, the Singlish version of ‘fly aeroplane’ is completely different from the literal form. As a one-off publicity stunt, Singlish on a Plane is probably harmless, provided the captain doesn’t confuse passengers with ‘Eh siao liao, the left wing pecah already, very jialat leh!’ when disaster strikes. By then, the joke isn’t funny anymore. To foreign ears, the cutesy use of ‘kiap’ or forced ‘lahs’ may raise a smile or two, but to Singlish veterans, there comes a point when it just seems, for lack of a better word, “bo liao”.

If Jetstar keeps it restrained and limits the use of Singlish to non-essential communication, it’s unlikely that their reputation would go down the longkang.  Just don’t expect Singapore icon SIA to follow suit. Passengers have complained that flight attendants spouting Singlish were a disgrace to international travellers. Yes, our very own Singapore Girl is forbidden from speaking the local tongue, and was bred only to articulate with the same eloquence as our television newscasters, or befuddle passengers with a chapalang of fake Western accents that make Singlish more intelligible in comparison.

Speaking of whom, it would be fun to see our CNA anchors breaking into Singlish as part of the festivities. Just watching Cheryl Fox reading a story in Singlish for 3 minutes would be far more entertaining than the entire Red Lions-less National Day parade.

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Air steward sueing SIA after luggage fell on his neck

From ‘Air steward sues SIA’, claiming cabin bag fell and injured him’, 9 April 2014, article by Selina Lum, ST

A Singapore Airlines (SIA) air steward, who says he was injured when a bag fell from the overhead compartment, is suing the airline for around $500,000. But SIA has countered that 42-year-old K. Jotheeswaran Kaniyasan is lying and that the incident never happened. Instead, air stewardess Hezrin Hilmi, who Mr Jotheeswaran said saw the 2009 incident, has filed an affidavit stating that she did not.

SIA has also alleged that her signature on the cabin crew accident report which the steward submitted to the airline was forged.

In his lawsuit, which opened yesterday and is scheduled to run for 12 days, Mr Jotheeswaran said that on July 8, 2009 he was helping passengers as they boarded a plane at an airport in Chennai, India. That was when a bag fell from an overhead compartment and landed on the back of his neck.

Despite treatment for back pain, his condition did not improve. Five months later, he had spinal surgery. But even after this and physiotherapy, he said he still suffers from neck pain and numbness in his left arm. He said in his claim that he has developed a degenerative disease in his spine.

To my surprise, someone has been successful in a suit against SIA for deadly falling luggage before. In March 2004, the High Court awarded $600,000 in compensation to Dr Euan Murugasu after he was attacked by a falling suitcase, leaving him with headaches, double vision and costing him his job as an ENT surgeon. In 2007, traveller Mark David Ryan, vice president of DBS bank, claimed SPINAL CORD INJURY after getting hit on the head by a bag containing a DSLR camera, an accident which he believed was the cabin crew’s fault. It appears that issuing helmets could save the airlines more money than safety belts. Nobody’s going to sue NParks for negligence if a tree branch falls on their face.

Killer baggage aside, even the food that SIA serves could hurt you. A British passenger in 2000 once tried to sue the airlines for serving PINEAPPLE juice with shards of glass inside, each as big as ‘five carat diamonds‘. Turns out that Stephen Golding falsified a radiographer’s report, and SIA proceed to counter-sue him for fraud. In 1993, a NZ woman took legal action against SIA after she had hot COFFEE spilled on her (New Zealand woman takes SIA to court over coffee spill, 1 Nov 1993, ST). A year before that, a similar incident happened at a US McDonalds’ outlet, where an elderly lady was awarded 2.9 million after sustaining third degree burns from the piping hot beverage.

But what about cabin crew themselves seeking claims from their own employer over inflight injuries? In another heavy-luggage related 2011 incident, stewardess Li Na wasn’t satisfied with a $250,000 payout after she suffered a back injury, seeking further compensation from SIA when it was in fact a passenger who knocked into her while she was lifting luggage in the first place.  In 2007, steward S Manikam blamed SIA for failing to order the crew to cease breakfast service during turbulence, resulting in him falling against an armrest, eventually developing REFLEX SYMPATHETHIC DYSTROPHY. SIA countered that he should have known better. Sometimes even part of your uniform can physically maim you, as what happened to an ex-stewardess who in 2002 sued SIA for sandals that gave her ‘foot problems’ (Ex stewardess sues SIA over ‘problem sandals’, 23 Jan 2002, ST). Not only are those an eyesore to some travellers, but serve as ancient Chinese foot binders cum torture devices as well.

You’re liable to head-to-toe injury risk if you work on a SIA plane, and given the hazards on board, turbulence and passengers included, this hardly comes as a surprise. Falling luggage, however, presents a complex whoddunit. Is it SIA’s fault if passengers carry dumbells in their bags, overload the overhead compartments, or do not position their stuff properly? Should cabin crew be trained to detect when a bag compartment is beyond its tipping point and be drilled in Baggage Dodging? If you could pay half a million to a passenger when a bag falls on him out of no reason at all, shouldn’t your own staff be entitled the same?

Here’s a tip for any claim nonetheless, whether you’re hit by a trolley bag, scalded by coffee or tea or have your feet run over by a meal servicecart: Don’t just settle for ‘neck injury’ or ‘nerve damage’. Do your research. The longer and more convoluted-sounding your illness is, the scarier the prognosis, the better your chances of winning a suit.

A Singapore Airlines (SIA) air steward, who says he was injured when a bag fell from the overhead compartment, is suing the airline for around $500,000.

But SIA has countered that 42-year-old K. Jotheeswaran Kaniyasan is lying and that the incident never happened. Instead, air stewardess Hezrin Hilmi, who Mr Jotheeswaran said saw the 2009 incident, has filed an affidavit stating that she did not.

SIA has also alleged that her signature on the cabin crew accident report which the steward submitted to the airline was forged.

In his lawsuit, which opened yesterday and is scheduled to run for 12 days, Mr Jotheeswaran said that on July 8, 2009 he was helping passengers as they boarded a plane at an airport in Chennai, India.

That was when a bag fell from an overhead compartment and landed on the back of his neck.

Despite treatment for back pain, his condition did not improve.

Five months later, he had spinal surgery. But even after this and physiotherapy, he said he still suffers from neck pain and numbness in his left arm. He said in his claim that he has developed a degenerative disease in his spine.

– See more at: http://www.straitstimes.com/news/singapore/courts-crime/story/air-steward-sues-sia-claiming-cabin-bag-fell-and-injured-him-20140#sthash.U9wl1n29.dpuf

Singapore Girl announcing that she’s from China

From ‘Stewardess making announcements:Why the need to specify her origins?’, 25 May 2013, ST Forum

(Kua Bak Lim): WHEN on board a recent Singapore Airlines Beijing/Singapore flight, I was puzzled when the flight stewardess who made announcements in Mandarin identified herself as someone from China. It struck me as odd that the airline found it necessary to make such a distinction when it came to announcements in Mandarin.

I then asked the in-flight supervisor whether the stewardess or steward on board an SIA flight to London needed to declare that he or she was from the United Kingdom when making announcements. The answer was no. This piece of personal information about the staff is completely irrelevant to the announcements, regardless of the language spoken.

This, in my view, tends to be divisive for the staff on board. I also find it disconcerting for SIA’s image as a world-class international airline. One also cannot help but notice that there seems to be the subtle insinuation that Singaporeans cannot speak good Mandarin, which is certainly not true.

Would the SIA management please comment?

There’s no need for an SIA stewardess from China to announce her origins simply because her accent and grammatical precision would be a dead giveaway, if the intention is to cater to PRCs on board. SIA has been hiring foreign staff for a while now so it’s no secret,  though they still insist on keeping the ‘Singapore Girl’ moniker.  As of April 2013, 7 out of 10 cabin crew are locals, with Malaysians, Thais, Chinese, Indians, Japanese and Koreans making up the numbers. It is perhaps the only airline in the world to brand their attendants after a nationality. Even Air India doesn’t call their ladies ‘India Girl’, nor China Airlines ‘China Girl’. The latter is also derogatory in the local context, often associated with mistresses and illegal immigrants than a glamorous profession that involves pushing foodcarts up and down a aisle asking if people want the chicken or the beef.

Interestingly, according to the SIA recruitment site, it’s a prerequisite to be ‘proficient in English and Mandarin’ if you’re a Taiwanese, whereas the requirement specified for candidates from China is just ‘a HIGH level of English proficiency’, though I believe the average Chinese or Taiwanese native could deliver any announcement in Mandarin without much difficulty at all. No such language criteria has been set for the Singaporean candidate, though you’d need to have A and O Level credits in General Paper and English respectively. Which means you can fail your Chinese exams and still become a successful Singapore Girl. But having splendid passes in GP or even Chinese doesn’t necessarily make you proficient in ANY language. The writer above seems highly optimistic about our locals’ standards of spoken Mandarin, but if we were that good we wouldn’t need ‘Speak Mandarin campaigns’. Even ang mo children put Chinese Singaporean adults like myself to shame. I can only remember one Chinese nursery rhyme during my childhood, the one that goes ‘san zi lao hu’ (Three Tigers, Three Tigers, run very fast, run very fast, one has no eyes, one has no ears, very strange, very strange), compared to today’s non-Chinese kids reciting Confucian EPICS like San Zi Jing.

So how many Singaporeans you know are actually up to the task of delivering a message to international travellers over a PA system? How many can deliver a simple interview to a Mandarin news crew in full sentences? How about telling a Chinese tourist the TIME? Not a lot, apparently.  Ex Mediacorp actor Ix Shen says we have a TOTAL DISREGARD for grammar and sentence construction. Sumiko Tan posits that English educated folks like herself lacked interest in the language because it was forced down our throats and not promoted in a fun, lively way. Journalist and film-maker Pek Siok Lan mocks our ‘half-baked English and half-baked Chinese’. Back in 1981, a Taiwanese professor urged us to ‘DROP Singapore Mandarin’ because we were over -‘translitering’ it. We could consider a Speak Mandarin mascot like Water Wally or Singa, but it would be hard to conceive of a character related to Chinese culture without making it a dragon or coming across as racist and xenophobic.

From a business and customer service standpoint, it’s better for SIA to let a ‘professional’ handle a Mandarin announcement than risk an unseasoned Singaporean butchering it in front of PRCs, generally thought to be so proud of their language they wouldn’t stand for anything slipshod and ‘half-baked’. It would also be a hassle for the cabin crew if PRCs started throwing up their meals because they heard us speak. But you don’t have to tell people you’re from China because it’s obvious and it would confuse everyone about what ‘Singapore Girl’ means. I suppose with enough practice, a true ‘Singapore Girl’ would be able to deliver Mandarin with striking confidence. Maybe that would be the ‘makeover’ that we locals can truly be proud of, a bilingual SIA stewardess who knows what is Chinese for ‘mild turbulence’ and ‘fried mee goreng’, rather than say, toning down on blue eyeshadow.

Singapore Girl’s blue eyeshadow is very 80s

From ‘ Singapore Girl gets a makeover’, 3 April 2013, article by Karamjit Kaur, ST

THE Singapore Girl has junked her bright blue eyeshadow for a more subtle and modern look. She is still immaculate in her body-hugging signature kebaya with her hair nicely done, but the colours on her face are less striking.

In her first major makeover in more than a decade, the iconic Singapore Airlines (SIA) Girl is sticking to blue, green, plum and brown eye make-up, and red lipstick to complement the colours of her kebaya. But the tones and shades are more subtle than before and trendier, said the airline’s head of cabin crew, Mr Marvin Tan. “When we embarked on this project with our long-time grooming partner Lancome, we took into account feedback from some customers that the previous colours seemed to be on the strong side,” he told The Straits Times last week.

…Freelance make-up artist Dollei Seah believes that SIA is taking the right step. “Wearing a blue outfit with blue make-up is very 80s. You can keep the blue but it should not be too much and it should be blended with other shades to create a more natural look.”

…Businessman Alex Wong, 53, said: “I’m glad the SIA Girl is moving towards a softer look. I do think some of them are too heavily made up, especially when compared with girls from other carriers.”

In 2007, David Keith,  president of Asia Pacific, Garner International, urged SIA to ‘get rid of the blue eyeshadow from the days when the Beatles were stomping around’. Experts in the field call it ‘very 80s’, while others mock her ‘screaming red lipstick and over-the-top blue eyeshadow’.  Blogger ‘The Last Alpha Male’ says it ‘basically looks good only if you’re WHITE‘ and ‘not in uniform’. I’m no fashion guru, but it seems blue eyeshadow doesn’t appear to as out-of-date as it’s claimed to be. The ‘electric blue’ look has been pulled off by celebrities such as Katy Perry and Rihanna as recent as 2009. I don’t know how it works on the Asian face without turning out like the evil character in some Chinese opera, or a Japanese manga fairy.

Gyaru blue

With the body-hugging, impractical kebaya still remaining as the signature icon of our Singapore Girl, I’m not sure how this ‘toning down’ of makeup is in any way a ‘makeover’. It’s like trimming your eyebrows or piercing a new earhole and declaring that you’re a ‘new you’. Singapore Girls still bun up their hair, waddle around gingerly and are probably the only stewardesses in the world who wear slippers during work. Having creepy eyeshadow hasn’t stopped our SIA girls from being voted among the world’s  ‘hottest’ stewardesses either, at the risk of their brand being labelled as ‘sexist’ still.

In fact, bright blue eyeshadow is scarcely noticeable from SIA ads and promos in the past, and I suspect feedback of SIA girls looking like the they’re auditioning for a Chinese Ghost Story are purely anecdotal, or exaggerated.

An example of overzealous use of blue makeup however, comes off a Wikipedia page. Even then, I personally have never been shocked by one, or at least not to extent that I thought that I was on an interplanetary flight to Pandora, planet of Avatar, instead of onboard a SIA plane.

The 'new' look

The ‘new’ look

Maybe it’s a guy thing. I wish I could say this tiny change ‘blue’ me away, but it doesn’t. So what gives? Is this an ‘out-of-the-blue’ marketing stunt to get people interested in the Singapore Girl once more? It’s not as if more people will flock to book SIA tickets now because their stewardesses look less like Abba. I personally never had a problem with our SIA girls looking like Twiggy or a roller skating disco dolly (maybe because I can’t afford to fly with them so often) as long as their reputable service standards are up to par, but it’s not so much the putting on of heavy makeup that bothers me, but the putting on of fake accents. No amount of physical grace or ‘subtle, trendy’ shades of blue will compensate for pretentious English in my opinion.

Still a great way to fly, no doubt, but the feathers on this majestic bird haven’t changed one bit.

Scoot uniform like Star Trek

From ‘Scoot or Star Trek?’ 24 June 2012, article by Cheryl Faith Wee, Sunday Times

Tennis outfit, Star Trek uniform or Yves Saint Laurent couture? New budget airline Scoot’s cabin crew attire has caught some people’s attention – but not always in a good way. While parent company Singapore Airlines has seen its fortunes soar, thanks in part to the iconic sarong kebaya worn by its stewardesses, Scoot’s sporty, stretchy sheath has drawn criticism from some passengers.

Mr Jourdan Ng, 29, who works in the finance industry, took a Scoot flight to Sydney two weeks ago. He says the black and yellow body-skimming V-neck dress accentuates curves, but ‘for quite a lot of the stewardesses, it is not very flattering’. ‘The sporty material of the dress makes them look like they had just finished a game of tennis before coming on board,’ he adds. ‘It might be a bit too casual.’

…Local corporate design and production house Esta designed the uniforms for the budget carrier, which started operating flights earlier this month. Male cabin crew wear polo T-shirts with midnight-blue jeans. Esta creative director Esther Tay, 58, says the dress was inspired by current fashion silhouettes and took about a month to design. Its curved, contouring panels are meant to be understated yet chic and stylish.

Similarly, fresh graduate Christine Song, 23, who is contemplating booking a Scoot flight to Australia later this year, says the design ‘does not have that professional uniform feel and is just like a formal work dress’.

… Keith Png of clothing boutique Hide & Seek, who designs his own labels Koops and Keith Png Bespoke, likens the Scoot uniform to an evening dress from the Yves Saint Laurent 1966 Autumn-Winter collection – a long couture dress in navy-blue wool, encrusted with a pink silhouette that resembles a woman’s arched body. Png, 34, says: ‘Scoot’s uniform resembles this signature dress and I like it.’

As ‘iconic’ and timeless as SIA’s uniform is, it’s easy to forget that  the sarong kebaya, and even the stewardesses’ slippers, have also been criticised in the past for lacking functionality and professionalism. Ditch the stifling elegance for something more ‘casual’ and you get passengers complaining that they were suited up at World of Sports. If I needed a flight attendant to rush to my aid on a plane, I’d probably have a higher chance of survival if my rescuer wore something ‘tennis-friendly’ rather than tiptoe gingerly to my seat in a shrink-wrap kebaya. If I were held hostage by a terrorist, it would also be comforting to know that somewhere in the back someone is whispering orders to ‘Set Phasers On Stun’.

Wimble-scoot

Personally, I think the female dress has its own kooky, adventurous style which fits the whimsy way the budget airline is named, despite making the ladies look like one of Marvel’s original Avengers, the WASP. The male top and dark pants however, as flaunted previously a few months back when the uniform was first launched, made them look like flight technicians rather than flight stewards, or like ground crew who load up baggage instead of cabin crew. Even the waiters at Crystal Jade dress better than this. Taking the plunge from SIA’s suit and tie to T-shirt is stretching the dress code from  ‘casual’ to ‘laidback slacker’.  Not sure if ESTA had changed the design to the current ‘polo-T’ since then, but they should at least consider making them a sleeker, tighter-fit if you want men to command greater presence like Jean-Luc Picard  instead of being mistaken for ball-boy stowaways.

Marvel’s own Tinkerbell

Koops’ Keith Png, on the other hand, summons YSL retro stylings, comparing the female dress to something more glamorous befitting of a catwalk. Such arty affection for something as mundane as a budget airline uniform could also explain the similarity in the playful tones between his fashion label Koops and Scoot. Here, there’s no ‘pink silhouette’ of an arched female anatomy, just a stripe of yellow that mimics the markings of winged stinging insects rather than high fashion. More ‘cartoon’ than ‘couture’, rather.

Yes, Scoot Lives

 

SIA stewardesses sleeping on plane

From SQ air stewardesses caught napping, 14 June 2011, article in insing.com translated from SM Daily

Some SQ air stewardesses were caught in the act: Taking a nap right next to passengers.

A curious passenger, Mr Tan, took a photo of two stewardesses sleeping on empty seats during a flight from New Zealand. He was flying home from Christchurch, New Zealand via Singapore Airlines when he saw the scene. When he was interviewed by The New Paper, he said he saw some stewardesses sleeping in the last few rows of economy class.

“My flight lasted about nine hours, and I was surprised to see flight stewardesses taking a nap right next to passengers.”

He said that the stewardesses were obviously asleep and yet some passengers kept pestering them for drinks.

Mr Tan wondered why the stewardesses were so tired, and whether the company had given them enough time to rest.

I guess refreshments won't be served anytime soon

Somewhere in that article must be an invisible complaint about how bad this is for the Singapore Girl’s reputation, but instead the person who took this picture was wondering why passengers were trying to wake them up for drinks and questioning staff welfare. It would be the saddest irony that this shot, originally intended to suggest that the Singapore Girl is ‘overworked’, will no doubt be interpreted by everyone else as the exact opposite. Just see how cosy they are. I’m jealous that they look more cosy than me when I’m flying long haul. If this is SIA’s idea of power napping, then God help us all in a real emergency when every second counts.

Fine, we don’t want to know goes on among Singapore Girls behind the lavatories on long haul flights. Maybe they do shift napping on their cabin stations, kill time freshening up the toilets (or themselves), gossip about difficult passengers, whatever to stave off the sheer boredom without the luxury of a passenger entertainment system or an internet connection – I don’t want to know. What attendants do after landing, whether it’s smoking outside terminals or kiao-kar-ing away, is none of my business. But the least our girls could do, tens of thousands of feet up in the air, is to give plane insomniacs like myself the assurance that we’re not the only ones wide awake when all other passengers are blissfully asleep, and that someone on the plane is always ready to jump to my rescue and wrap an oxygen mask around my face if I suffer a panic attack, or collect my airbag after I’ve vomited into it. In fact, this image, assuming that it’s not some staged viral prank (as much as I’d hope it to be), is taking  ‘kiao-kar-ing’ to the next, and in fact highest achievable, level. If Singapore Girls can snuggle up on unoccupied seats, it’s only fair that passengers can do the same. In fact, it is imperative that passengers take up whatever empty seat that is available, just to prevent our stewardesses from using them. Alas, that’s often not the case, even if you’re suffering from severe air sickness. Of course, stewardesses aren’t the only uniformed people caught sleeping ‘on the job’, it happens to our NSmen too.

Airsick SIA passenger not allowed change of seat

From ‘Passenger disagrees with airline’, 14 June 2011, ST Forum online

(Law Cher Khiam): I REFER to Singapore Airlines’ reply (“Why passenger was not allowed to change seat”; May 31) to my letter (“Service goes out the window amid SIA balancing act”; May 27).

It was a 6am flight, and there must have been about 30 empty seats from economy class row 30 to 54 on that flight (54D was the seat given to me).

I checked with my aviation and pilot friends and contrary to SIA’s reply, I am told that I could have easily been given one of these seats up front (to alleviate my severe air sickness) without compromising the safety of the flight. I didn’t specify any seat and any attempt to move me forward – even if it was a row or two – would have been appreciated.

No attempt was made to help me despite my plea.

The arrogant manner in which I was brushed off at the airport by two of the senior staff there hurt as much SIA’s reply. This is definitely not the sort of service one would expect from the world’s most awarded airline.

The initial complaint was about SIA’s refusal to allow Mr Law to change seats citing ‘plane balance’ and safety as a reason. No information on how far exactly the complainant would want to be moved from his position at the time, but would moving ‘a row or two’, as he now claims, make any difference for ‘SEVERE’ air sickness? In his first letter ‘Service goes out the window..’ (May 27), he in fact states:

…She refused to give me a seat further up front even though I explained to her that I experience giddy spells sitting behind (for example, when the plane hits turbulence).

I then sought the help of the supervisor, but was told the same reason: They couldn’t give me a seat further up front because they needed to “balance the plane”.

So, if you’re on the verge of puking your lungs out, what does one intend exactly by ‘further up front’? Moving ‘a row or two’? I don’t think so.Would flight attendants even suggest that he move one row up at the risk of sounding silly and getting scolded for it? Naturally, in that situation, one would assume a fair distance away from Mr Law’s seat, and you can imagine the affected staff reading this and going ‘Aiyah..NOW then you tell me..’. This is like saying ‘Oh I would have appreciated if NTUC exchanged my maggot ridden apple with something slightly rotten’. It’s common behavior of complainants to adjust their expectations in hindsight to make them appear less unreasonable as they very well could be in the beginning. I could scream at a cyclist for ramming into me for being ‘a bloody blind  bastard’ in the heat of the moment, but later downplay the situation politely i.e inaccurately in a complaint letter with a euphemistic ‘I told him sternly to watch where he’s going’.

But back to SIA’s ‘arrogant response’ by Divisional Vice President Xavier Lim(May 31, ST Forum):

…Mr Law’s flight was nose-heavy. To ensure safe operations, we had to ensure that some passengers were seated towards the rear to achieve the correct balance for take-off. After take-off, passengers would be able to change to the forward seats if they are available.

Mr Law expressed his unhappiness to our staff over his seat arrangement. We are sorry that we could not accede to his request but cannot, under any circumstances, compromise the safety of our flight operations and that of other passengers.

Aeronautic physics aside, did either the complainant or the attendants think of asking someone in front to exchange seats?A little basic human beneficiary could have saved all the embarrassment really. Still, if Mr Law was well aware of his condition, why weren’t precautions taken? If he runs the risk of overflowing his airbag, how about bringing along some motion sickness tablets which you can buy off a pharmacy, or from a doctor for more potent ones? Motion sickness is mostly preventable, and by means other than bossing flight attendants around. It’s unlike peanut allergy sufferers having to risk anaphylactic shock with peanut dust floating around the plane.  Still, this is a masterful ‘I’ve got the Last Word’ letter, with a cunning post-hoc  ‘I’m really not asking for much’ disclaimer and a shaming whopper of a finish that would leave any organisation speechless.  Please save as a template if you are ever find yourself inconvenienced by SIA, be it lack of legspace, crappy food or failure to understand what stewardesses are saying. You may even get a free business class upgrade if you’re lucky.