Fitness first luxury gym not for ‘lowly clerks’

From ‘Gym chain Fitness First should respect the dignity of labour’, 23 May 2015, Voices, Today

(Preethi Athavle): In reference to the report “Fitness First to launch one-of-a-kind gym for captains of industry” (May 21), I take objection to Fitness First saying that chief executives “do not want to be down there … with a lowly clerk”.

There are many facilities such as business-class seats in airlines and five-star hotels that ordinary people cannot afford. And it is fine for businesses to argue that the higher prices are due to the higher costs of providing premium services.

But to use the adjective “lowly” for a clerk is unacceptable. While many senior executives may have overcome great difficulties to attain their current position, it is equally true that not everyone starts at the same point in life’s race.

According to a Financial Times article, the new invite-only ‘penthouse gym’ would be a ‘private and intimate’ affair so that chief executives don’t have to ‘share a changing room with the great unwashed’. I suppose it would also spare them the embarrassment of appearing less fit, huffing and puffing away on the treadmill, hence depriving all of us ‘lowly’ people the pleasure of realising we can do more reps and lunges than someone from the ‘C-suite’ class. Let’s be considerate, then. How else are these people going to maintain their fitness and keep our economy booming? By JOGGING in Bishan Park? Banish the thought!

Rich folk have many ways and means of hobnobbing with their peers of course, whether it’s partying at Pangaea over thousand dollar cocktails or playing a few rounds of golf at an exclusive club. With the new FF gym catering to the elite, you can discuss business over treadmills or a herb power smoothie, or even arrange for meetings in branded sweatpants since you’re too busy for showers. Because that’s what rich people go to gyms for apparently, to have a goddamn teleconference after swinging some dumbbells around. It’ll be the gym equivalent of the sky-high ‘Elysium’ paradise in that sci-fi movie of the same title starring Matt Damon. That sounds like a better name for it, by the way. Ironically, gravity is a force that tends to pull you down to earth, not lift you into the skies.

They’ve got the 5 Cs and now they want to add a G to the mix, a gym that gives you a ‘luxurious fitness an wellness experience’. Maybe they have staff there who help dab the sweat off your brow as you work out, or stand by your side cooling you down with a giant fan, feeding you grapes and organic muesli mini-bars for that quick energy boost while you strive to meet your ‘fitness goals’, without the clerks and the rest of the peasantry getting in your way and secretly mocking your belly flab. Hey FF, how about an exclusive gym for lowly clerks too? You could call it Fitness First Fun Camp or something, where members get to pound metal and chop wood, getting a ‘holistic’, natural workout at the same time as serving their Gravity masters 38 storeys above the ground.

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