Singaporean making Police report over spicy Nasi Goreng

From ‘Singaporean files police report over spicy fried rice in Johor Bahru’, 7 May 2014, article in ST

A Singaporean has filed a police report because the nasi goreng kampung, or local fried rice, he ate in Johor Baru was too spicy, local media reported. The matter took social media by storm on Monday night after a copy of the police report found its way to the Internet, news website The Rakyat Post reported.

According to The Rakyat Post, the man, who is from Taman Jurong, had eaten the fried rice at a shop along Jalan Bukit Timbalan.

“Around 9pm on 30 April, I went to eat at a shop which I can’t recall the name. After I ordered the nasi goreng kampung and warm water, I had my meal, I found that it was extremely hot and too spicy. “Until today (May 1) I can still taste the spiciness from the rice I ate yesterday. I suspect that they cooked the rice with too much chilli.

“The reason why I am making this report is because I am very unhappy with the rice I ate and wish to go to a hospital for a checkup,” the man stated in the police report.

Johor Baru (South) deputy police chief Supt Abdul Samad Salleh, when contacted by The Rakyat Post confirmed receiving the report. However, he declined to elaborate further on whether or not they will pursue the matter.

Some weeks back, a Singaporean man lit himself on fire at a JB petrol station and died soon after. Today, one appears to have his mouth and tongue burned to bloody crisp by Nasi Goreng Kampung. This is surprising considering Singaporeans are renown for their love for spicy food, and most of us would stop eating, at WORST ask for a refund, if we couldn’t take the heat. Now that hawkers in JB know how weak some of us really are, you probably can’t order chilli there anymore without first signing a disclaimer that says should you suffer from bloody diarrhoea or lose your sense of taste for several days, it’s not their fault. Or they could lace it with something far deadlier to shut you up for good.

JB has a reputation and history of violent crimes against Singaporeans, but judging by the way our countrymen are flocking there in droves to guzzle cheap petrol and show off our luxury bags and cars, it’s probably not surprising that a Nasi Goreng seller would want to incinerate us from within with unusually toxic fried rice. Instead of resorting to more, well, primitive modes of execution or attack on the Singaporean visitor, such as:

1) Getting slashed and hacked to pieces.

2) Dragged along the road by a motorcycle.

3) Smashed into a wall by a car while on a SOFA.

4) Having CURRY powder thrown in your face in a robbery attempt.

5) Kicked and whacked with poles.

So thanks to our fellow Singaporean, the JB police have been alerted to the threat of a more discreet weapon of choice by Malaysians to incapacitate Singaporeans into surrendering their money. Sir, your inflamed tongue and throat, your dogged sense of justice at the risk of public humiliation, all will not be in vain, because Singaporeans who venture to JB will now keep an eye out not just for parangs, gun-totters on bikes, or dangerous drivers, but steaming hot plates of Nasi Goreng, or should I say Mati Goreng, spiked with poison embers plucked straight out from the depths of Hell.

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One Response

  1. He just wants the police report, go to the hospital, get his ‘diagnosis’ confirmed that he is suffering because of the nasi goreng, and then sue the nasi goreng seller for lots of money.

    Opportunistic man.

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