Ng Boon Gay ignored Cecilia Sue, how how how?

From ‘Text messages between Ng Boon Gay and Cecilia Sue revealed’, 27 Sept 2012, article by Leonard Lim and Tham Yuen-C, ST

Details of SMSes and Whatsapp messagess which IT executive Cecilia Sue sent to former anti-drug chief Ng Boon Gay last year were revealed by the defence in a district court on Thursday.

…The messages included “M U” – which Ms Sue said meant “miss you” – “Do you D-I-Y“, “I could have spent three hours with you, had fun?” and “you ignore me, how how how?”

(Warning: Following post NSFW….Like that even matters)

Yahoo news had more juicy texts to report, including ‘Sad sad, Can we TURN BACK THE CLOCK?’, ‘Back to Great World City Time’, as well as this utterly mindBLOWING explanation of the use of an acronym that refers to something more than just, well, nuts, bolts and lubricants.

..Sue had eventually admitted to sending a whatsapp message to Ng that read, “Do you DIY?” But when Tan asked her to tell the court her impression of the meaning “DIY”, she said the DIY fix store comes to mind.

Maybe she wanted Ng to service her pipes, or fix her nozzle. Despite so much HARD evidence of back and forth flirtation on hand, Cecilia Sue had this to say during her latest testimony when her head was unceremoniously dunked onto Ng’s manhood, or as she prefer to call it, his ‘private PART’.

“I am particular about hygiene and cleanliness… I didn’t give that kind of impression.”

Well, if you take Sue’s Virgin Mary statement at face value, you probably WOULDN’T snigger at her D-I-Y explanation. I’m surprised she didn’t put the blame on Autocorrect. Instead, not only are we given the impression that Ng is a demanding blowjob addict, but he has Swamp Thing in his pants. Thanks to our ‘star witness’ associating oral sex with ‘hygiene’, we’ll have men rushing to the hospital with Dettol burns on their genitalia, or women scrubbing their inner cheeks with baking soda on Scotch Brite. Maybe she had intended to type ‘Do you DJ’? Ng doesn’t look like the partying type, but maybe he has an alter-ego in the club circuit going by the alias MC Pong Dong. But if there’s any spinning being done here, it’s a whole lot of YARN. Dirty, dirty yarn. This week’s ST should be rated NC-16, for God’s sake.

This sex saga is just one guilty pleasure after another, whether it’s about bad romance or bad fellatio. It’s embarrassing to even read some of this stuff, but it does prove how discreet messaging services like Whatsapp have the potential to accelerate relationships from flirty banter to sexting to reminiscing about filthy romps in your mother’s rented apartment. It also makes grown men and women, even those in the highest ranks of the civil service, sound like horny teenagers. But as humiliating as exposing personal messages of the accused is, a cautionary dystopian note is in order, that whatever one transmits from that magical device in your pocket will eventually come back to hit you where it hurts the most; Ng Boon Gay has supposedly spent his entire life savings on legal fees. He may have to dish out more for an impending divorce. Maybe the last text he’ll receive from his wife would be ‘We’re ovr, kk’.

Oh but what is an affair without nicknames? In 2007, NSP candidate Spencer Ng Chung Hon was alleged to have behaved ‘inappropriately’ with an ex-student, exchanging text messages whereby the girl called him ‘KING’, while she was his ‘PRINCESS’. The usual excuse for this is that you call all your students ‘princes’ or ‘princesses’, though a MALE teacher referring to a schoolboy as my ‘PRINCE” is just creepy. No one knows what GaySue called each other in their more intimate moments. I suppose it wouldn’t be ‘Gay Gay’ or ‘Nang Nang’. That sounds too panda. Nang Nang also sounds like the gagging sound you make when something is forced down your throat.

In 2011, an SMU student was stalked by a man via SMS, a sample of which as follows:

Some friends ambushed the pervert posing as the victim, and this was the last message sent by the man before the honeytrap was sprung. “I am here. I am wearing a blue polo shirt and UNCLE shorts.” Such depravity is an insult to uncles everywhere, but this case illustrates how a surge of testosterone renders the male species vulnerable to imposter sexts. And remember, if you type ‘ltr’ to save text time, so do uncles.

With SMSes and Wassap, there’s no end to the variety of ways to ask for sex. No celebrity sext is more infantile than Edison Chen’s propositions to teenage lover Cammi Tse, where he asked her to bring sum ‘cutecute clothing kk’. Instead of just being direct and saying ‘Let’s meet tonight’, you get roundabout tosh like ‘Happy N’tnal Day! Are you noti tonite?’ . Anything less subtle and you may land yourself in jail for harassment, like: ‘Can I make love with u. I give u 200. Service very good not to worry u will be very SHIOK.’

But wait, some sexologists actually believe that sexting adds ‘variety to how couples communicate’, likening the practice to ‘love messages in the digital age’, with the hope that the marriage will be ‘very SHIOK’.  The only reason why anyone would sext their wives through Whatsapp would be as a form of insurance against sending her a WRONG sext intended for their mistress. Or you could always blame your iPhone for sending messages too quickly. Instead of ‘Damn you’, cheaters should say ‘Thank you, Autocorrect’. And if GaySue were in fact truly lovers and the lights went down and they slow-danced under the moonlight, this track by Johnny Hates Jazz is the perfect song to sway to.

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4 Responses

  1. Nice n funny as usual. Had me rolling on the flr laughing out loud (forgot the acronym for this) 🙄

  2. ROFLMAO, a witty and apt description of the processes going on in the courts of public opinion.

  3. […] Everything Also Complain: Ng Boon Gay ignored Cecilia Sue, how how how? – Food Fuels Me To Talk: Sue inconsistent! – Musings From the Lion City: […]

  4. y need to scrub inner cheeks with baking soda on Scotch Brite? since she willingly blew him after he pushed aside panties and inserted into her (briefly), could a quick poke into pu$$y have disinfecting properties?

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