Naked sushi dinner is a culinary renaissance

From ‘Secret Cooks Club’s novel dinners spark interest’, 19 June 2011, article by Amelia Tan, Sunday Times, and ‘Secret cooks club lets diners eat sushi off naked woman’, 18 June 2011, article in insing.com

BORING is certainly not a word that can be used to describe a dinner hosted by the Secret Cooks Club. Since its inception in February, it has organised suppers that required every dinner guest to send in saliva samples, with meals subsequently created based on their DNA.

Last month, it served a dinner for six inspired by the Japanese practice of nyotaimori – serving sushi on a naked woman’s body. This food club’s novel nosh has also been featured in British newspaper The Guardian recently, with the paper describing its efforts as a ‘culinary renaissance’.

…(DR DENISA KERA, NUS professor and co-founder of the Secret Cooks Club):’Every dinner is unique and based on some new experience and idea we want to test. The main purpose is networking over food with new people and getting inspiration for the next dinner.’

(Comment by Elizabeth Leong on insing.com): How degrading will men get just to “experience” this? Can’t you try eating sushi off your own wife’s naked body? Even if you are a single guy, I am sure most men have enough brains to know this kinda “alternate” dining experience is nothing but almost an orgy. Shame on the people who thought this up. Next they will maybe place a still almost alive brain of a monkey which is still beating inside the monkey’s sliced off head (a la Indiana Jones)?

Fine Art Cannibals

What better use of a female body could one think of? Think of all the time saved washing crockery! ‘Nyamatori’ is nothing revolutionary. In fact, people eating off naked bodies has probably been going on for ages, usually behind closed doors; it’s one of the reasons why whipped cream is still sold in supermarkets. This has been glammed up as an ‘exclusive’ experience that only Yakuza mobsters used to enjoy, when in fact you could get a better deal buying takeaway from a sushi deli and a willing partner to share the delicious decadence with (and more fun too). Hyped as a ‘culinary renaissance’, this is nothing more than a reenactment of the kind of sordid bacchanalia Roman emperors engaged in millennia ago, so that modern diners can pay to pretend that they’re Nero, Caligula or some other fetish-loving tyrant of the time. So ‘Elizabeth’ is not so off the mark there that this resembles some kind of controlled ‘orgy’, though her comparison with monkey brains is more applicable to a different kind of ‘adventurous eater’ altogether.

Personally, I wouldn’t eat food off a stranger, with all the hair, secretions and sweat clinging to raw food, and treating the human platter as if she weren’t there is just awkward. I wouldn’t even feel comfortable talking to  people knowing the dish is listening to my every word. How on earth is this a social event for networking professionals when it’s a deliberate clash of the two most basic primal impulses, food and sex, that all intelligent discourse is impeded as all you can think about is  whether those strategically placed rose petals are supposed to be eaten as well? How can you eat in this situation with a straight face and not feel obliged to ask the model if ‘she’s OK’, ‘does it tickle’, or ‘Do you want some?’ (Probably not a good idea lest her digestive movements, or trying to make her laugh, causes sushi to fall off). Nyamatori requires decorum and restraint, the two greatest hindrances to an enjoyable feast.

Being a table centrepiece, of course, isn’t the only job around where women pose naked without moving for prolonged periods of time. Think nude modelling for art students, which, despite the full-on nakedness, is ironically less reviled because it feeds a more sophisticated creative ‘appetite’ than nyotaimori lovers, though members of the Secret Cooks Club would insist on labelling it culinary art of the highest order. I mean, I could arrange some MnMs on my very naked hand in a tasteful manner to have someone eat off it and call it ‘culinary art’ too.  In any case, just wait for the flurry of angry females writing in to decry the discriminatory,  moral turpitude of this dining concept, and then link it to prostitution, human trafficking,  beauty contestants parading in bikinis in front of dirty old men and topless car wash attendants.

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One Response

  1. Agreed totally! Am so repulsed and angered by this ‘Secret Cooks Club’.

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