Everything Also Complain

Maids adding bodily fluids into food

gdy2shoez — Tue, 22 May 2012 16:12:41 +0000

From ‘Maid charged with stirring menstrual blood into employer’s coffee’, 22 May 2012, article by Alvina Soh, Channel News Asia

An Indonesian domestic worker was charged on Tuesday with adding her menstrual blood into her employer’s coffee cup. 24-year-old Jumiah allegedly committed the act at a residential flat early in the morning on 31 August last year.

For mischief, she could be jailed up to a year and fined. Her case will be mentioned next week.

Sometimes it’s better to get your own damned coffee. At first glance Jumiah may be trying to get herself sacked, taking revenge against an unreasonable employer or just severely absent minded. Chances are she was taking the advice of a bomoh, that by tainting her employer with her endometrial secretions, relations would improve by some form of devilish possession. If the intention was to charm the drinker with her menses, then it’s not so much ‘mischief’ as a desperate, deluded faith in ‘black magic ‘. Yet the same disgust towards eating or drinking womb remnants doesn’t apply to local women eating placentas for youthful skin.

Cannibalising a part of another human as transference of one’s ‘essence’ is a superstition as ancient as there have been shamans and broomsticks, such as drinking your sworn brother’s blood in a secret society initiation ritual. Christians eat a piece of their Lord and drink his blood all the time. For all its symbolic and religious associations, (menses) blood isn’t the only bodily discharge that have been used against employers. In 2009, Indonesian maid Sri Aryati added urine into drinking water in a kettle and jug. In Hong Kong, another Indonesian maid put her own urine in milk to feed a baby, with the belief that she should have ‘greater influence’ over the child by bonding through her pee. Between the two bodily fluids, urine is probably less hazardous, though I’d imagine to be equally unpalatable.

Real ‘mischief’, or even ‘attempted murder’, occurs when maids trick owners into consuming window-cleaning solutions, mix detergent into milk powder to feed babies or switch shampoo and conditioner with household bleach. The malicious (forced) feeding of inedibles and unmentionables goes both ways, with several instances of maids being abused by employers and forced to EAT faeces (Granny accused of making maid eat faeces, 11 April 2003, ST) or drink urine, with some bullies dishing out the worst possible humiliation by force-feeding animal dung (Pair accused of forcing maid to eat dog faeces, 19 Sept 1997, ST). If I were ever tortured and forced to choose between a menses-soaked teabag and a piece of poo, I would settle for some period-infused Earl bloody Grey in a second.

Zeng Guoyuan’s bird abusing the police

gdy2shoez — Wed, 16 May 2012 15:58:29 +0000

From ‘Zeng Guoyuan not contesting Hougang by-election’, 16 May 2012, article in Today online

Retired acupuncturist Zeng Guoyuan, who collected the political donation certificate, is not contesting the Hougang by-election. According to Mr Zeng, he was disqualified because he was fined in 2008 for a public offence. It involved the use of vulgarities when police officers entered a shophouse he was in.

Mr Zeng said it was his parrot’s “friendly, understanding, caring, kind” words that earned him a S$2,500 fine. Officials from the Election Department later clarified that Mr Zeng did not file his nomination papers. Mr Zeng tried, and failed, to contest as an independent candidate in the last General Election in May last year.

That’s PROFESSOR Zeng to you. It’s a pity that the Election Department doesn’t allow nutjobs to contest, not even solely only for sheer entertainment. I would attend the Prof’s rallies for sure, just to have a feel of what a new-age cult gathering feels like. He does fit the politician bill in some aspects though, a mastery of blame-shifting, an unwavering determination despite embarrassing himself, and the ability to wiggle his way out of wrongdoing in the calm, collected manner of a sermon like he was preaching to lesser beings.

According to his Vegetable Shampoo blog, he has an affiliation with the Medicina Alternativa Institute of Sri Lanka, which is linked to the Open International University for Complementary Medicines (U.S.S R). U.S.S.R! That alone explains everything. He addresses himself as Sen. Prof. Dr SIR Zeng Guoyuan MD, DSc, PhD in a newspaper ad featuring his 99 year old Grandfather. Yet in this 1987 article where he was fined for putting up ads claiming treatment for pain and piles, he was reported to possess only a Higher School Certificate.

He also bears an faint resemblance to Shoko Asahara from Aum Shinryoko sect, so maybe it’s not his past brushes with the law that’s preventing him from running for MP. Rather how the government is afraid that he would enslave Hougang residents through Soviet-trained brainwashing sorcery and make everyone worship a foul-mouthed parrot as a deity. He’s to politics and pseudoscience as Steven Lim is to entertainment.

In 1991, he did in fact run as a Opposition candidate for WP in Bukit Timah (Zeng Guoyuan pays up for his limo, 7 Dec 1991, ST), before getting himself charged for molesting a customer in his clinic (Former WP candidate faces molest charges, 14 April 1996). While in prison he complained of mistreatment after developing rashes on his rectum (I was mistreated in police lock-up, says acupuncturist, 29 Aug 1996, ST). In his defence, he claimed he was a ‘knight’ of St John (Accused cries in court, saying again he was set up, 4 Sept 1996, ST). Zeng eventually got jail and 4 strokes of the cane (Acupuncturist guilty, gets jail and four strokes, 14 Sept 1996, ST), though that didn’t stop him from coming out to sell more snake oil and make the ‘independent candidate’ position the turf of wacky millionaires again.

In 2009, he opened a centre in Toa Payoh, putting up Mas Selamat banners as ‘sunshades’ (and was fined) and FCUK posters (friendly, caring, understanding and kind?), where he beat African drums, sang, danced, and boxed when he’s not selling bogus shampoos. In the last GE, he turned up on Nomination Day declaring himself a ‘Muslim convert’ and that his name was ‘Mohammed Ali’, and then proceeed to rip his form to pieces. I admire the journalists for stifling their laughter.

A pantheistic guru like Zeng would probably be more successful polling in Inner Mongolia than here, where few would have the tolerance for a bizarre leader who could say ‘fuck’ is a ‘good’ word with a straight face, and then praises Allah. In fact, it’s how he defended the expletive so matter-of-factedly that makes it funny. For a by-election harangued by rumours of dissension and racism, Zeng and his vulgar parrot is a welcome dose of zany comic relief. He could talk about housing woes one moment and then time travel and reincarnation the next. Still, anyone with a parrot on his shoulder and an unpredictable streak is way more interesting to watch than a candidate with nothing but white on his collar whose slogan you could see coming light years away.

Here’s a picture of the Professor and his feathered friend.

Killer Ferraris on congested roads

gdy2shoez — Tue, 15 May 2012 14:36:02 +0000

From ‘Gerard Ee rejects call for curbs on fast cars’, 15 May 2012, article by Ethan Lou, My Paper

MR GERARD Ee, chairman of the Public Transport Council, has rejected calls for tougher restrictions on high-performance sports cars following the fatal three-vehicle collision in Bugis involving a Ferrari.

Instead, he blamed reckless drivers and not fast cars. “Low-performance cars can also be going at 100kmh and beat the red light,” Mr Ee told my paper last night. In a post on citizen-journalism website Stomp yesterday, a netizen known as “Ban it” proposed that high-performance sports cars be banned on congested Singapore roads.

The netizen wrote: “As a small country, should we accommodate such high-performance cars on our increasingly packed roads?”

While most Singaporeans are reeling from the shocking video, others are hurling abuse at the dead PRC speedster. The reactions from Twitter are flushed with unanimous anger towards the departed, with insults like ‘bastard’ ,’Ferrari fucker’ and terms like ‘murder’ being tossed around. A case of flogging a dead horse perhaps, but anyone who has seen how the maniac smashed into the taxi with the relentless ferocity no Michael-Bay special effects could possibly match, killing two innocent people, would be tempted to think the Ferrari driver was asking for it. It adds an ironic twist to how someone once suggested that there should be a death penalty for speeding. Taxis seem to bear the brunt of sports car collisions; In April 2011 and July 2008, taxis collided with a Lamborghini and Mitsubishi Evo 9 respectively, the latter fatal for the taxi-driver involved.

The media is still milking the tragedy dry with the expected ‘mystery nightclub hostess’ angle, hoping to reap some scandalous, poetic justice out of a terrible situation for all families involved. Taking these monsters off the road won’t help matters, and nobody who could afford to drive a Ferrari would waste it by sticking to the speed limit. Like guns Ferraris don’t kill people, drivers do. Except that while most of us yield pistols, those who could afford it go for machine guns and missile launchers. This guy was freaking Rambo, and he bit the bullet hard.

It’s easy to associate Ferrari drivers with a certain ‘fast and furious’, decadently lavish, Type A lifestyle, though some loutish towkays who pick fights with random youths may own one too. In some tragic cases, the allure of the testosterone and adrenaline cocktail that comes with driving such cars prove too much for children of FATHERS who own them (Mazda MX-5) (Teens killed in horrific Sixth Ave car crash, 5 June 2008, ST). Still, most owners should be familiar with the temperament of their beasts and pay extra caution on the roads BECAUSE they are Ferraris, and because they’re expensive. Ma Chi could have been an experienced racer with hardly any incident during his racing streaks, no thanks to the bewildering generosity and ‘support’ from a wife who allowed her husband to sneak out with his toy in the wee hours to break the law, oblivious to how dangerous his addiction to speed is. Even the professionals on the circuit crash and burn, and maybe this isn’t really about drunkedness, the distraction of an attractive hostess/mistress, or whether PRCs can drive, but simply horrible luck; You can totally trash a sports car but still end up unhurt, while your passenger gets killed all because of you.

In 2010, Regan Lee lost control of a Mazda MX-5 during a test drive, and the car ‘flew over the road divider, smashed head-on into a black BMW, flipped over it and crashed down into a van in the other lane’ – an orgy of wanton destruction. You would have thought the guy would have been pulverised to bits, but he emerged unscathed. His female passenger, on the hand, was killed and all he got was a driving suspension. Maybe these guys were playing Stare and Drive, like what the folks from Fast and Furious do to impress girls.

Eduardo Saverin likes Chilli crab

gdy2shoez — Sun, 13 May 2012 03:15:47 +0000

From ‘Facebook co-founder gives up US citizenship’, 13 May 2012, article in Sunday Times

Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin officially ‘defriended’ the United States last September, giving up his citizenship for the more tax-friendly residency status of Singapore. It is not known if the soon-to-be billionaire has taken up Singapore citizenship.

…Born in Brazil, Mr Saverin moved to the US in 1992 and became a citizen in 1998. In 2009, he relocated to Singapore. Explaining that decision, he told The Straits Times: ‘I got out of Changi Airport and was amazed by the line of trees and saw how clean and green Singapore was. Then I discovered the various entrepreneur programmes and the long list of government funding available for start-ups. I decided I must live here.’

Among his investments in Singapore is Anideo, a technology start-up that has created at least 10 applications for Apple’s iPhone and iPad. Last year, he also invested in Perx (www.getperx.com) a customer loyalty mobile app which has signed up big brands such as Popeyes and Dunkin Donuts.

…Mr Saverin, who likes chilli crab, has kept a low public profile, although he is a much sought-after speaker at entrepreneurship seminars in Singapore. He has also put money into two start-ups in the US – multimedia Web search service Qwiki, and online payment technology firm Jumio.

Saverin’ Succotash!

So where in Singapore is Eduardo Saverin? According to other sources, one of the world’s richest 30-something is living it up in exclusive clubs like Filter, hobnobbing with the elite and supermodels in his luxury penthouse, drives a Bentley, and is a sponsor for ex Miss Singapore Rachel Kum’s cosmetics line Rachel K, all elements of a typical billionaire-tycoon playboy lifestyle that the ST has chosen to omit, instead giving us the impression that he may be found tucking into chilli crab at Long Beach seafood, maybe hanging out with the local uncles drinking Tiger beer in a pair of flip-flops.

If you’re not the sort who clubs at fancy parties or don’t even own a dinner jacket or appreciate fast cars and champagne, you may want to hang around the Sail@Marina Bay if want to catch a glimpse of Saverin. According to the New Straits Times, Saverin has reportedly been dwelling in the ‘tallest residential building’ in Singapore. Put two and two together from this pitch to expats and you’ve got Mr Popularity’s address. In 2008, Indian billionaire turned Singapore citizen Dr Bhupendra Kumar Modi bought a Sail penthouse unit for $15 million, which netted the seller, another Indian-turned-Singaporean tycoon Dr Sudhir Gupta a $6 million profit. Treating property like trading cards is common practice among the ultra-rich, while many of our own locals struggle to even maintain one, and can only gaze up at this steel mega-tycoon playground complex in awe, waiting for them to excrete some small change as we pander to them like gods. We used to fly kites at Marina Bay, now it’s a Beverly Hills-like showcase for high-flying foreigners. Dr Modi did live in the ACTUAL Beverly Hills, in fact.

Saverin isn’t the only foreigner renouncing a US citizenship to make Singapore his home. Investment guru Jim Rogers moved here in 2007 so that his children could learn Chinese. Gongfu superstar Jet Li has done it too, having given the Americans films like THE ONE and ROMEO MUST DIE, is now residing in a $20 million bungalow in Bukit Timah, and is officially a Singapore citizen as of 2011, despite not working his chops in the movie scene here. Neither has anyone heard from Gong Li since her conversion and subsequent divorce either. We’re known to warm up easily to rich foreigners (some people would call that rich-people poaching), despite the fact that Saverin has left America for good and can easily do the same to Singapore if things don’t go down well as planned with the start-ups that he’s busy funding. Unlike other billionaires who have made it big in Singapore, Saverin is somewhat special. He’s young, Brazilian, fresh-faced, has an interesting job, co-owns Facebook for God’s sake, and may be perceived as an eligible bachelor, though his marital status remains unknown (Rachel Kum insists that they’re good friends who club at Butter Factory once in a while). The words ‘tycoon’ and ‘magnate’ which summon images of grey-haired paunchy men doesn’t apply. Saverin is too cool for that, or even descriptions that end with ‘-preneur’. Years from now, our kids will think of Saverin when quizzed about famous tech-wizards from Singapore. No one will remember who Sim Wong Hoo is.

Some Americans feel cheated and betrayed by Saverin’s seeming ‘tax evasion’, that he ‘owes’ America for being where he is today. This billionaire ‘tax dodger’ has 1.4 million ‘subscribers’ on Facebook currently, the same number of people Jesus Christ would have if he had Facebook then. They’re probably many more ‘friends’ in line waiting, like peasants in a king’s court grovelling for a new fence to keep the goats from escaping. If you want to have a foreigner friend in high places (literally) like Saverin, it would also be worthwhile checking out a library book on Meterology, a topic that Saverin is a self-professed fan of. To say his rise is ‘meteoric’ is an understatement, and like a ‘hurricane’ he has swept Singapore off her maiden feet. Let’s just hope he doesn’t change his mind about us like the ‘weather’. Someone once described Singapore as ‘Disneyland with the Death Penalty‘. I think we all know who’s living in Snow White’s castle then.

And yeah I’ll be in a whole new tax bracket/ We in recession, but let me take a crack at it/I’ll probably take whatever’s left and just split it up/ So everybody that I love can have a couple bucks – ‘Billionaire’, Bruno Mars/Travie McCoy

‘Caring Teacher’ award winner abandoning dying wife

gdy2shoez — Sat, 12 May 2012 08:36:22 +0000

From ‘Baffled by award for teacher who went on trip while wife was dying’, 12 May 2012, ST Forum

(Mark Gregory Rozells): WEDNESDAY’S report (‘Caring teachers win awards’) about a teacher who received the Caring Teacher Award because he accompanied students to a competition abroad, even as his wife was dying of cancer, has left me baffled.

First, no school trip is planned and executed by one teacher alone. There is always a team of teachers for safety and contingency reasons. So how indispensable was that teacher to the trip?

Second, knowing his circumstances, shouldn’t the school’s principal have deployed another teacher to replace him?

Third, wasn’t the safety of the students on the trip a concern when the teacher rushed back to Singapore to see his wife before she died?

Lastly, what signal is the Ministry of Education sending to teachers and the public with this award? Abandon your families for your students?

The ‘caring teacher’ in question is Northland Secondary School’s Allan Yeong, whose wife insisted that he accompany the Boys Brigade Pipe Band because ‘he couldn’t let the children down’ (Caring teachers win awards, 9 May 2012). Whatever decision this teacher has made, he has lived with it for the last 5 years since her death. Without any knowledge of Mr Yeong’s personal affairs nor the exact circumstances leading to him leaving his dying wife, it probably isn’t fair to judge his actions based on what most of us would do, namely forget the pipe band and stay with the wife. The intention of the award is to recognise selfless passion, which Yeong has chosen to pursue in spite of what his wife’s family and friends may think of this untimely decision.

According to the nomination criteria for the ‘Caring teacher’ award,

A caring teacher is someone grounded in values; who cares, shares and shows concern for the academic, moral, social, emotional and mental welfare of his/her students

It doesn’t say anything about ‘sacrifice’, be it working overtime or forsaking your family to be a band chaperone. It also means you can be a total bastard and wife beater at home, but that doesn’t exclude you from becoming a ‘caring’ teacher. Or a cheat. In 2010, an ex ‘Caring teacher’ winner was sentenced to two weeks’ jail for tampering with his fuel gauge at Woodlands Checkpoint. In March this year, another award winner pleaded guilty to penetrating and molesting schoolboys, proof that being the perfect teacher doesn’t necessarily make one more humane than the rest of us. Of course, you can make a mockery of any award after winning one, but all the more scrutiny for a profession so extolled as exemplary citizens and role models as our teachers.

Going the ‘extra mile’ always comes at a cost, and it’s unfortunate that unlike past winners, the media has chosen to dig up the unsettling details of what Yeong’s ‘cost’ entails. God knows how many people have been neglected because their teacher mothers/fathers/sons/daughters have put their careers first. If we were to hear of a teacher working her butt off to the point of forgetting to feed her baby for just one night, we’d probably feel the same outrage. If every professional award were judged based on whether one’s moral conduct at work applies to personal life, there would be no winners and there would be no point in dishing such things out at all.

Perhaps the writer has a point; that by rushing home to bid his wife farewell, the ‘welfare of his students’ was temporarily compromised. But then again, without knowing if Yeong did in fact take measures to ensure that the students were looked after in his absence, it’s rather premature to question on a technicality if he deserves this award or not, and argue based on the premise that a husband SHOULD look after his cancer-stricken wife instead of other people’s children. Maybe things just aren’t as straightforward as we think, it could have been a very painful but necessary decision for all we know. Furthermore, winners are chosen on the basis of nomination from members of the public including parents, maybe even from the parents of Yeong’s charges who voted out of gratitude/sympathy. So even if the guy lied and didn’t give two hoots about his wife, there’s nothing preventing him from winning Caring teacher of the year anyway, especially if even a sodomising pedophile can do it.

Brastrap flash in Triumph ad a disservice to women

gdy2shoez — Sat, 12 May 2012 02:02:56 +0000

From ‘Not so triumphant for women’, 11 May 2012, Voices, Today online

(Tham Kun Moon): It was not too long ago that International Women’s Day was celebrated here and in many other countries. In the same month, an advertisement by an undergarment brand, in which the protagonist wowed her male audience by showing off that bit of her undergarment and appeared triumphant in the deal, aired regularly on the free-to-air channels.

It is pointless to celebrate the wonders and beauty of being a woman when old stereotypes persist. It is a disgrace and a disservice to women. To suggest that the modern woman succeeds on the merits of her undergarment is an insult to many women who rise up to the highest ranks in the corporate world, including several well-known ones locally.

( Ad could be this one below by Triumph. Who would have guessed?)

Nothing sweetens a deal like a little peek-a-boo, and as much as this depicts sultry women as wily go-getters, it also insults men as shallow creatures, that our executive functions are clouded by an exposed brastrap even if it’s flashed for less than a second. It’s like a cinema flick running subliminal split-second images to tell you that you want a hot dog. This ad may be a ‘disservice and disgrace’ to femininity but it merely dramatises a sullen truth that sex has been used, and will always be used, to secure deals, among other things worth getting. Countless movies have depicted women weaponising their cleavage to disarm violent criminals, escape from captivity or steal tiny keys from pockets, yet here we are, only on International Women’s Day, suddenly realising that there’s discrimination going on all this while. It’s like remembering we have someone to love on Valentine’s Day.

But wait, if you view the ad a couple more times, you’ll appreciate the context of what at first glance looks like a prelude to a striptease. The men were having trouble picking a colour scheme, and perhaps, by sheer coincidence, the bra’s shade of orange was EXACTLY what they had in mind. Or they just wanted to see a brastrap. Either way, both sexes are stereotyped, and an underwear ad without stereotyping is like a Burger King ad without fries.

Whether it’s a glimmer of a smile, affectionate touching, laughter or a winning bosom, sensual gestures will always influence the outcome of a sale or a payrise. A maximiser bra and a silly flash are just a few of the many flirtatious tools at a woman’s disposal, whether she’s conscious of her actions or not. Kudos to bosses who manage to see through the visual foreplay and make purely objective decisions without the reptilian brain being stimulated by primal mating signals (Or they could just be gay). It’s so hard to market underwear without pissing some women off. If you take the sexist messages away, you’ll have prudes complaining about topless models, or models unzipping their tops suggestively. At least the ad makers kept the scene restricted to a typical suit-and-tie corporate board room. If recent events are anything to go by, the ad would have been more accurate if it had been men in uniform discussing tenders of IT projects instead.

Teacher ‘don’t want to see your face’

gdy2shoez — Fri, 11 May 2012 14:07:35 +0000

From ‘Verbal abuse’ by teacher: Dad files police report’, 10 May 2012, article by Stacey Chia, ST

AN UPSET parent, learning that a teacher had used hurtful words on his daughter in class, has filed a police report for verbal abuse. Mr Mohamed Ariffin, 53, said that his seven-year-old daughter, who goes to New Town Primary School in Tanglin Halt Road, told him that her teacher said to her: ‘I don’t want to see your face.’

Mr Ariffin made the police report last week. The school and teacher have both apologised for the incident….Mr Ariffin, who is unemployed, said he learnt about the matter when his child was reluctant to go to school last week. His wife, Madam Norhayati Hashim, 43, a quality control surveyor, said: ‘She was always not very keen on going to school, and I used to wonder why she would ask me every morning if she had lessons with that teacher.’

Their daughter, who is in Primary 1, said: ‘The teacher banged my table and told me that she did not want to see my face after I told her that I did not know how to do a question.’ When told about what happened, Mr Ariffin first made a police report and then went to the school to speak with Madam Ng and the teacher involved.

I’ve written enough about teachers verbally ‘abusing’ pupils in a previous post (You’ve got the cheek to tell me this!) and how even ‘shut up’ has become as degrading as ‘son of a whore’. If you’ve ever experienced the police delaying search for your missing pet goldfish, this is probably one of the reasons why. This sets a ridiculous precedent of teachers succumbing to emotional blackmail by their students, via overprotective parents who might as well march into the classroom with a chopper. Now you can come up with any woolly excuse in the world for not doing your homework as long as you know who to call when your teacher starts ‘verbally abusing’ you. Forget counsellors, fart cushions or car-scratching, if you want to exact revenge on a cranky teacher, the neighbourhood police will be there to assist. The crooks, thieves, paedophiles, gangsters, kidnappers can all wait. Someone’s ego is at stake and the fate of one’s education as we know it depends on someone soothing it with a hapless apology.

Thanks to the likes of Ariffin here who’s taking up more of the police’s time than necessary and turning law enforcers into nannies from a child protection agency, you’d have to wait in line behind angry parents at the police post even if you need to report your neighbour’s crazy rotweiller for gnawing your bloody toes off. If some madman is out there spreading anthrax dust, too bad, there’s a foul-mouthed teacher on the loose! Oh think of the children! Yes, Dad-who-called-police-for-no-damned-reason, no one from New Town Primary School wants to see your face either.

SAF regular found hanged from a rope

gdy2shoez — Sun, 06 May 2012 02:29:25 +0000

From ‘Soldier found hanging from rope at Changi Airbase’, 5 May 2012, article in asiaone.com

An off-duty Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) regular serviceman was found hanging from a rope in Changi Airbase on May 5, 2012. 2nd Sergeant (2SG) Suresh S/O Seluras, 24, was a military policeman from the 608th Squadron.

An SAF ambulance with a medic went on site immediately at 9.35 am. The medic found the serviceman stiff, unconscious and without pulse and tried resuscitating him.

The death of a soldier always strikes a nervous chord with anyone with loved ones serving the army. The job of defending the nation is itself hazardous by nature, and with the risks of collapsing from 2.4 km runs or training exercises imminent, you would expect the SAF to minimise further unnecessary losses from what appears in this instance to be an act of suicide. Headlining could be improved though; ‘Found hanging from a rope’ if read out of context could mean the poor guy was stranded on an obstacle course. If the avoidance of any speculation of suicide were intended, Today’s ‘Found dead at Changi airbase‘ would have been more precise.

Psychological trauma would be the first thing that comes to our minds, and during my own stint in NS, camp suicide was a hot topic off the rumour mill. Even if the army isn’t responsible for your troubles, the job itself is conducive for any kind of self-injury, with our boys (and some girls) having access to bullets, bayonets and barb wire. The army is also notorious for creating an endemic fear of punishment even for the most trivial offences (e.g confinements on weekends, detention), which may lead some to perceive killing themselves as an easier way out.

1971: In what appears to be the first reported army suicide, a private drank anti-rust solution because he didn’t get his promotion to lance corporal.

1979: 20 year old Cpl Tan Cheong Eyong leapt to his death over an illness diagnosed as ‘obsessive compulsive neurosis and reactive depression’. A 27 year old Provost investigator handcuffed himself before drowning off the Esplanade over girlfriend issues. AN 18 year old SAF employee training to be a CLERK plunged to her death after failing military examinations.

1980: A female trainee leapt to her death after having to endure BMT, even complaining previously that she couldn’t bring herself to bathe in front of other female cadets. She had also signed up to be a clerk.

1981: A top SAF scholar was found hanged from a water pipe in the bathroom of Temple Hill barracks, reasons cited as ‘depression over work and personal life’. He was just 24 years old.

1990: An NS man hanged himself after causing $2000 worth of damages to a military vehicle (NS man hanged himself, 12 July 1990, ST) Anyone who has ever experienced writing statements of lost or damaged property would tell you they would rather be captured and tortured by the enemy than risk losing even the muzzle of their rifle.

1992: A 20 year old former special constable shot himself in the toilet of the central police divisional headquarters after being suspected of theft (Suicide verdict on NS man, 3 March 1992, ST). An incident that suspiciously resembles the notorious Gomer Pyle suicide scene from Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket.

2009: Capt (Dr) Allan Ooi was found dead under a bridge in Melbourne, presumably unhappy over his job as a SAF doctor and having to serve a 12 year bond after landing an SAF scholarship.

Suicides aside, a mentally disturbed soldier may be a fatal hazard to others as well, with reported cases of officers gunned down by boys who simply couldn’t cope. Some form of ill treatment and discipline is always necessary in any form of regimentation, and arguments about ruggedness and mocking our fighting force as a ‘strawberry generation’ will get you nowhere, sometimes even in a heap of trouble. We’ve seen images of young men crying shamelessly on TV, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg of the kind of emotional manipulation and threats that are dispensed by men in uniform and the power of authority. Don’t talk about turning ‘boys into men’ anymore, SAF. Giving our boys iPads won’t distract them from suicidal thoughts either. Just have our unwilling sons get out of it in one piece, and hopefully, with their minds intact as well.

Super Import Nights too sexy

gdy2shoez — Sat, 05 May 2012 08:35:51 +0000

From ‘ Car show heats up with sexy bikini girls’, 4 May 2012, article in insing.com

Some are wondering if upcoming car show Super Import Nights (SIN), which features not just cars but also sexy girls, will prove too raunchy – especially for children. SIN is returning for the fourth time this year and will be held at the Singapore Expo from 25 to 27 May.

For the first time, the show is also organising a beauty pageant – Miss SIN Search 2012 – and inviting women to submit their photographs to the website. According to Shin Min Daily News, the pageant rules, first published in late April, required aspiring contestants to submit two kinds of photos; one of them clad only in a bikini, and another of them partying in a club.

As the result, many submissions depicting women in little or no clothing can be seen on the website. The flesh parade has raised the temperature in Internet forums. Cabelle Liew Sheryln commented: “Why so X-rated? Promoting cars or boobs? For a moment, I thought I’m looking at Playboy’s website.”

A Shin Min Daily News reader, housewife Wu Ning Jing, also pointed out that the show was offering tickets priced at $5 for children. The 41-year-old is concerned that children may attend the exhibition and “see things they shouldn’t”.

Bikinis and cars go together like ham and cheese. Today, the word ‘model’ has become standard double entrendre when it comes to car show displays. Flashy cars have been linked to beautiful women since at least 1970, with the ‘Concours International d’Elegance’ motor show being staged at the appropriately titled Gay World, bringing together ‘the glittering status symbols of modern man’. You won’t see such sexist promotions anymore, but ‘race queens’ as they are known today, are wearing much less than their 70′s counterparts. Automobiles have been feminised by men for as long as anyone could remember. We call our toy ‘a beauty’, talk about her ‘sleek curves’, and how she ‘purrs’ when the engine is ignited. Placing an actual female next to a car is merely extending its gender, maybe personality, into flesh and bone. In 1936, there was even a model called the ‘Hillman Minx’. In Kill Bill, the Bride calls her ride the ‘Pussy Wagon’.

Biker chic

In 1978, one lucky Lagonda was ridden by seven models during a fashion show at Mandarin Hotel. Even vintage cars that seem to have come right out of the Monopoly game get their share of the ladies.

: Herbie is jealous

What would a motor show be without women then? Perhaps a ‘ringside magic show’, or a ‘dance band’ for entertainment (1965)? Steak without the sizzle, fireworks without the noise. Today, the car is not the only hardware that sells better with sex. Tech fairs selling smartphones, TVs, cameras, Playstations, tablets are all employing models to caress products with their fingers, though the likelihood of snaring a babe with every purchase is dismal compared to buying a car. Why didn’t we have such things during the days of VCR tape recorders and mini-compos? If only Borders had thought of this gimmick before they closed shop. The only way to promote the reading habit and sell encyclopedia these days is to have bikini models manning booths at book fairs. You can even make the Oxford Dictionary look sexy if you try hard enough.

Go go gadget gals

But what’s this about a ‘pageant’ then? If you have women vying for a title and using their sex appeal to outdo each other, who cares about the cars? Perhaps Super Import Nights is overselling its sideshow perks, and since it’s harder to be tempted into buying a car than a new set of speakers, having a bikini contest instead of the usual anonymous flesh parade is unlikely to boost sales at a motor show. In fact, with hordes of guys busy gawking and not browsing merchandise, it may even backfire on the organisers if the crowd of horny onlookers turns off genuine car buyers.

Here’s a list of strange things you can get a pretty lady to sell at trade fairs. Nope, no books still.

1) Mouse

2) Keyboard

3) Battery Grip

4) Stuff that look like they belong to another type of lifestyle fair

K-pop vs J-pop

gdy2shoez — Sat, 05 May 2012 05:04:38 +0000

From ‘Unfair to compare K-pop to J-pop’, 5 May 2012, ST Life!

(Tay Wan Xin): I am writing on behalf of many J-pop supporters regarding the story How K-pop Beat J-pop (Life!, April 26). Although it might be true that K-pop is the in thing now, is there a need to write such a biased article?

Using Ayumi Hamasaki to compare with Girl’s Generation is not fair. Hamasaki is a J-pop icon who has been in the music industry for a long time. Girl’s Generation is an idol group which only recently became famous. Hamasaki definitely wins hands down.

Besides, I do not think that the Japanese culture is dying out. People seem to have forgotten that most of their favourite anime, such as Pokemon and Doreamon, are part of Japanese culture and their childhood. Even popular K-dramas such as Boys Over Flowers, City Hunter, Playful Kiss and many others are adaptations of original Japanese manga.

(Goh Jia Jie): …The article has incited virtual violence in social media such as Facebook and Twitter, drawing a line between J-pop and K-pop and dividing individuals who appreciate music. It has resulted in an even more tense relationship between K-pop and J-pop fans in Singapore.

Not a fan of either, but I hope nobody has died defending their musical turf in what appears to me as a rather harmless rivalry, like the sort between top England football clubs, Britpop bands of the nineties, Mac vs Microsoft users or Zoe vs Fann. Singaporeans generally lack ‘groupie solidarity’ when it comes to supporting their own musical talents. No one will be arguing if Taufik Batistah has more ‘swag’ than Sheik Haikel, nor do our local bands and idols have the kind of obsessive, exclusive following that has earned J and K-pop ‘cult-like’ status. The rest of us who live in the real world tend to differ passionately over who makes the best chicken rice in Singapore instead. Whether fans of J or K pop, without these kids HMV would have disappeared a long time ago and I thank God that their obsession is keeping the CD format alive.

Japanese pop music has been trending in Singapore for much longer than Korean music, long before it was rebranded as J-pop and even before the first Pokemon was born. According to this ST article, the craze was born in the aftermath of the All Japan Red and White festival which was screened on local TV in 1981. K-pop really began to take off at the turn of the millennium (Seoul Music, 22 Aug 2000, ST), with girl groups like SES and Clon setting the stage for future performers. Shinhwa was the first K-pop band to perform here, and that was as late as 2006. The genre is still relatively young and it’s hard to think of a Korean hit song without someone rapping over it, if not auto-tuned. Manufactured to bubblegum perfection, it’s no surprise that K-pop has had greater success here, riding on the tidal wave of pop exports like drama serials and horror movies. Still, it’s unlikely that your slick RnB-heavy Korean boy bands of today could rival 80′s J groups like Shonen-Tai when it comes to versatility and staying power. Or looking like actual men for that matter.

Indeed, it was a time when the hair drew as much attention as the dance movies. Shohjo-Tai, the female version of Shonen-Tai above, look like they actually eat three proper meals a day. You also didn’t need 48 members to launch a single then. Most producers would be happy with trios, not an entire classroom.

What K-pop lacks in wackiness and variety, the Japanese have more than made up for it in style. If pop and RnB isn’t your cup of tea, you have the choice of techno (Steve Aoki), or Ogre You AssHole. Other J-rock/punk bands have names like Maximum the Hormone, Bump of Chicken or Sons of All Pussys. They even made a movie about a death metal band called Detroit Metal City.

If you need more evidence of J-pop’s staying power, look no further than the universally recognised catchy little 1963 ditty that is ‘Sukiyaki’, which singer Johnny Nakamura brought to the region when the word ‘pop-star’ was still in quotation marks. It was also probably the first Japanese contemporary track ever heard by Singaporeans. K-pop fans talk about the genre’s success in ‘crossovers’ into US markets. This guy scored a No 1 on the Billboard Charts before most K-pop fans’ parents were even born. Girls’ Generation could ‘bring all the boys out’ and will never achieve what Sukiyaki did for Asia in the face of legends of the time like the Beatles and Rolling Stones.

And of course, there’s Kitaro, still alive by the way. It’s heartening to see musicians sticking to the dying trade that is New Age Music and not sell-out by dressing like pimps. Alas, only spa owners would use his works now.