$17 million NDP having too many rehearsals

Posted on September 15, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Reduce expenditure for National Day Parade’, 14 Sept 2012, ST Forum

(Matthew Yeo): I AM surprised by the amount of public funding for the National Day Parade (“National Day Parade costs rise to $17.2m”; Tuesday). Why was there a need for so many rehearsals? A glitch is all right, especially when we now believe it is okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.

I am also curious to know why the cost of fireworks and ammunition was not mentioned. Were they really necessary during rehearsals? Each year, there are too many man-hours lost in the rehearsals, which blunt the excitement of the actual Parade itself.

The most expensive NDP ever held ($20 million) was in 2010 at the Padang, not that I remembered anything about it that distinguished this from the rest (It went mostly into laying the stage for the show, including 17 support towers for 3 LED screens). Though expenses dipped last year, it’s worth recalling that some of that 17 million went into making fun packs, and the FUN PACK song, which ended up being scrapped, and wasted, for copyright reasons. Today’s standards, of course, are a far cry from the 1 million budget we allocated to NDP in the eighties, a time when they could produce more memorable National Songs on $2.50 cassette tapes than the multi-million polished laser-guided extravangzas of today ever can. In the past, some Singaporeans thought that props like a $143,000 ‘PSA Dragon’ were a total waste of money, which does make sense considering how you only show off these dazzling displays a couple of times and then chuck them aside forever.

The reason for the expensive rehearsals and previews is that the NDP is not just for the general Singaporean audience alone, where you can ‘glitch’ up and not worry about being flamed online later. The NDP has to be blooper-free because it’s not just us or the government and President watching, but perhaps the rest of the world. As a once-a-year event with a long history of prestige and pride, this singular celebration of a nation, the holy mother of all parades and performances, has to run like clockwork because on this one very special day, the NDP simply has to be the Greatest Propaganda Show on Earth and there is no excuse in not delivering anything less. As a means to show off our military might to make our neighbours tremble with apprehension and showcase our ability to afford pyrotechnics, itself a prime indicator of our economic health, running it like a school play is to risk mockery by the entire nation. Not everyone is as forgiving as the complainant if some soldier misfires, if the parade commander botches his commands, or if someone in the VIP seat starts playing with their phone during the National Anthem. In 2006, someone complained to the press about a SPELLING error on the NDP TICKET (separate, not seperate). Last year, some disapproved of cross-dressing in one of the skits and called for the parade to be slapped with a NC-16 warning. Such vehemence towards cock-ups just goes to show how high our expectations are for this annual blast of pomp and patriotism, like deprived peasants devouring the bloody spectacle of a gladiator match in a Colosseum. You want to see savage beasts dismembering each other, not whimpering pussy cats dodging balls of wool.

But perhaps we’re only looking at costs at face value, for there are environmental reasons to curb the festivities as well. In 2008, someone suggested cancelling the flypast during NDP because it consumed jet fuel and caused noise pollution during rehearsals.  If you’re a nature lover you may bemoan the plight of airborne creatures exposed to the chemical fizz from fireworks or wild shots from 21 gun salutes. Yet, within the same year, the same eco-warrior may have added more destructive carbon into the atmosphere by traveling, turning on the air-conditioner daily or simply watching TV. So yes, although bigger and brighter doesn’t always mean better, the NDP isn’t something to be stinged on either. It’s like replacing your grandmother’s favourite shark’s fin soup with fish maw broth during her birthday bash.

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Filed under: 1980s, 2000s, 2011, 2012, Festivals, Money, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

We’re not ready for a world without LKY

Posted on August 10, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Singapore heaves huge sigh of relief at Lee Kuan Yew’s NDP appearance’, 10 Aug 2012, article by Melissa Aw, Yahoo News.

…In the past week, rumours swirled online and offline that the former Singapore Prime Minister’s health was fading quickly. Day by day, the speculation grew stronger and wilder.

…Although a quick check by Yahoo! at Lee’s Oxley Road house on Wednesday showed nothing out of the ordinary, rumours continued to grow online and offline. Soon, the health of Lee became a topic of national debate and the “will he or won’t he appear at NDP?” question grew into a audible chorus ahead of National Day.

Even members of the media were not immune to the frenzy.  The Straits Times’ political journalist Tessa Wong addressed the rumours on Twitter, dismissing claims of a cover-up and that Lee was alive and well.  Channel NewsAsia editor and presenter Glenda Chong also stepped up to clear the rumours on her Facebook wall on Wednesday.

Without mentioning names, she wrote, “So a lot of people have been asking me a question! He’s alive and please watch NDP tomorrow… Trust me he’s alive, otherwise I will be extremely busy!”

The reporter above was kind enough not to pose the REAL question on everyone’s minds this past week leading up to NDP. Did LKY DIE before the parade? Then there are the conspiracy theorists and their ‘body double’ explanations for his miraculous appearance. The truth turned out to be stranger than the fiction one sees in typical Dictator stereotypes or madcap movies like Weekend at Bernie’s; the old man’s still alive, though to say that such rife hearsay kept everyone tense on the edge of their seats and emitting a huge gaseous sigh of relief is probably pushing it. The nail-biting twisty climax to what appears to be a bad M Night Shyamalan political thriller is an apt image of LKY looking dapper in red, giving a victorious double thumbs up. It could have been two middle fingers instead.

Leader in Red

Don’t these internet gossips know that if they’re trying to start a fire online they’re equally likely to get burnt? Yaacob Ibrahim just added one more reason to this list of ‘Reasons to Regulate the Internet’ in his push for a Code of Conduct. But what’s interesting about the Yahoo article is not so much its content, but the title of its weblink in full:

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/spore-not-ready-for-a-world-without-lee-kuan-yew-.html

Which raises the question: What will become of us when LKY is dead and gone? Will we be like sheeps without a shepherd? A rock band without a drummer? A brothel without a mama-san? Sewer rats without the Pied Piper?

It’s not surprising that LKY has ‘used up’ one of his 9 lives before. In 2010, ex-Singaporean and now American lawyer Gopalan Nair admitted in his Singapore Dissident blog to publishing a hoax that LKY had ‘suffered from a massive heart attack’:

Even though I made up everything I said about Dear Leader about his heart attack, and none of it is true, I can assure you that the scenario that I painted assuming that he dies is completely correct.

So what scenario was Nostradamus here talking about? According to his original tall tale, ‘such a happening can destroy the business confidence and cause total destruction in the small island city state.’ There were also ‘peaceful protesters and demonstrators… holding placards reading “Democracy” and “Down With the Dictator” and chanting slogans.’ As far as I’m aware there were no ‘Hurry up and Die already’ campaigns going on in the build-up to NDP aside from the scatterbrained hullabaloo and white noise in social media. If the sources were in fact reliable, I would think most of us would have been stunned at first, but gradually come to accept and carry on with our lives. We wouldn’t be thinking of packing our bags and, like Gopalan, seek asylum in a country where you can get gunned down by madmen while watching Batman in a movie theatre or praying to your gods in a temple. In fact, Gopalan is still drilling in our heads even in the midst of this gonzo media circus that we’ll be hapless without LKY, that the stock market would plunge, and the Sing dollar would be worthless. WORTHLESS, I tell you. Woe is me!

If LKY did have a major coronary, the media would have jumped on it like a rabid coyote, as how they have done in the past reporting on the state of the elder statesman’s health from minor infections to bladder evacuations. We really didn’t need to know. Telling me that LKY was ‘ill’ before the parade is nothing new, so someone decided to up the ante and say ‘Hey, why not have him DEAD for a change?’

2011-Peripheral neuropathy (as revealed by daughter Lee Wei Ling)

2008 -Abnormal heart rhythm (article above)

2003- Prostate Surgery 

1998 – Infection arising from minor surgical procedure (SM in hospital, 23 Nov 1998, ST)

1997 – Acute respiratory tract infection (SM Lee in hospital due to infection, 7 Sept 1997, ST)

1997 – Elective evacuation of the bladder (SM Lee to undergo elective evacuation of the bladder, 11 Jan 1997, ST)

1996 – Balloon angioplasty (SM’s balloon angioplasty op a success: PMO, 16 March 1996, ST)

It’s easy to spin insensitive yarns about someone’s father and grandfather when you’re based overseas and still persist in egging LKY’s lawyers to sue you for slander, but more importantly, bad taste. Gopalan had it easy compared to Twitter users like ‘izreloaded’, who got name-dropped in the Yahoo article above as one of the perpetrators of a highly contagious rumour. But it’s one thing to plant a lie in the national psyche for your own sick indulgence, another to condemn the country into anarchy and chaos because of the demise of one man, especially if you’re not doing anything to help avert the impending end of Singapore as we know it, a ringside commentator pulling one awful joke after another. This Gopalan prophet of the coming apocalypse may have no love lost for LKY, but where’s the faith in the the rest of us? If the old man is as formidably crafty as he’s reputed to be, he would have set a series of events in motion as part of an elaborate grand scheme of command and control, to ensure that Singapore runs like clockwork centuries after his death, like how we splice a dead Nat King Cole with his daughter Natalie in an ‘Unforgettable’ duet and still make it number one on the charts.

Still, nothing bugs a nation like an dead or dying dictator/autocrat. Fidel Castro was reportedly dead (false) earlier this year, the dates of rumour-mongering occurring near two special dates for the Cuban leader, similar to how sparks flew near our very own 9th of August. Barely taking over the reins from his late father, Kim Jong Un was ‘assassinated’ by gunmen in what would have been the month of his dad’s 70th birthday. Equally ‘killed by Internet’ were Hosni Murbarak, Margaret Thatcher, Mikhail Gorbachev, and Suharto. This bespeaks a frivolous trend of ‘Dead Evil Leader pranking’, which plays psychological parlour tricks on our basic emotions. Rumour feeds the need to be heard, the sudden loss of a figure of stifling authority feeds our need to be free, while the stock market blips attest to our fear. What we need the most now, though, is the belief that we can carry on. With or without LKY.

And we can only hope that when the time comes, it doesn’t end up like this.

We are all doomed

Filed under: 2010, 2012, Bloggers, Festivals, Funerals/Death, Politicians, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

National anthem is not Mari Kita

Posted on July 4, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Understanding Majulah Singapura’, 4 July 2012, ST Forum

(Grace Zhang): MONDAY’S article (‘Sung with national pride’) about the significance of national anthems – or their irrelevance – spurred my thoughts about our National Anthem. In all honesty, I almost forgot its title when I tried to recall it; assuming it was Mari Kita (Let Us) because these are the first words, before I remembered that it is Majulah Singapura (Onward Singapore).

Sadly, beyond the title, I have no clue what the rest of the anthem means, despite having sung it every single day from primary school to junior college.

My second problem is that the anthem is in Malay. If the purpose of a national anthem is to forge national identity and rally citizens towards a common vision or goal, why choose a language that four-fifths of Singaporeans today neither speak nor understand?

Should our National Anthem be updated? The view that doing so would open a Pandora’s box of unwelcome controversy framed along sensitive racial lines misses the point. The problem is not that most Singaporeans do not understand Malay, but that we do not understand what our National Anthem means.

More effort must be made in schools to teach the anthem to students. I remember being cursorily taught its meaning in primary school, with its translation tucked away in an obscure page of a social studies text. If efforts are not made to impress the meaning and significance of the National Anthem, then generations of students will continue to sing Majulah Singapura every morning without understanding its importance or worth.

Our national anthem has been affectionately known as ‘Mari Kita’ since the eighties, and during my time no effort was made by music teachers to decipher the lyrics for us. Even if you were grilled into appreciating the gist of the song,  if you’re not a native Malay speaker you’re highly likely to mistake your bersatu’s for your berseru’s, and not knowing what either word means. Perhaps it’s not so much we don’t get the lyrics DESPITE singing it every day in school, but rather BECAUSE of it. Whether translated into English, Chinese of Tamil, if you make a chore out of singing Majulah Singapura, it loses its meaning and hence any sense of patriotic fervour whatsoever. When Majulah’s composer Zubir Said died in 1987, the ST headlines read ‘Mr Marikita: Shy, humble and well loved’ (17 November 1987), which translates into the nonsensical Mr ‘Let Us’.  It’s also unfortunate considering ‘Marikita’ has also been abused as a euphemism for an erection, by association with flag-RAISING ceremonies and standing at attention.

Maybe it’s not so much the content or language of the anthem that matters, but the emotions, history and familiarity that its melody and mood stir within every true blue Singaporean who has ever sung it loud and proud during assembly, NDP, or a medal ceremony at the Olympics. Language is irrelevant when you have a homegrown athlete beating others on the world stage, shedding a tear on the podium when the instrumental anthem is played. In fact, ‘Onward Singapore’ doesn’t do justice to the pride and glory that swells inside us when a fellow Singaporean, not some Chinese import, achieves the unthinkable. What matters is how much heart and soul you put into it, nevermind how bad your Malay is.

It’s also hard to come up with anything catchier than our national anthem; the opening drumroll, the empathic horns, the goosebump-raising crescendoes. No composer in the history of Singaporean music has produced a more immortal tune that ranks amongst greats like ‘Chan Mali Chan’, the Beatles’ ‘Yesterday’ or ‘Yankie Doodle’. You don’t have to understand English to know that ‘Yesterday’ is a melancholy ballad about lost love, or that ‘Yankie Doodle’ is about musket-carrying soldiers marching and tooting in victory. Chan Mali Chan just sounds like a happy song. Some have lauded Majulah as short, simple and understandable. In fact, the late S Rajaratnam believed that ‘the Malay lyrics were so simple that anyone above the age of 5, unless MENTALLY RETARDED‘ should be able to sing it (Thanks for the link, ‘Matthew’), which makes those of us adults who commit the bersatu-berseru blooper complete idiots.  ‘Majulah’ is a timeless, chest-beating classic that transcends mere words, which, as with all anthems, are ultimately banal drivel without a rousing, effective tune making it come alive. According to Wikipedia’s English translation, two thirds of the anthem consist of the following refrain:

Come, let us unite
In a new spirit
Together we proclaim
Onward Singapore
Onward Singapore

Which doesn’t make me sing Majulah with any more gusto and ‘feeling’ than if I didn’t know what it meant. Anthem aside, not many Singaporeans I know could easily rattle off what the 5 stars of the National Flag symbolise either.  We can’t even remember 5 things in English, let alone an entire song in Malay.

Postscript: A silly rumour has been floating around in the Twitterverse that the suggestion to change the anthem to Chinese was raised by President Tony Tan. No official sources of such a remark have been cited.

Filed under: 1980s, 2012, Festivals, Kids, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

PM Lee wants more Dragon babies

Posted on January 22, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From PM Lee: Singapore’s fertility rate up last year, 22 Jan 2012, article by Judith Tan/Lydia Lim, Sunday Times

Singapore’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) picked up slightly last year to 1.20, up from a historic low of 1.15 in 2010. The Prime Minister announced the figure on Saturday in his Chinese New Year message, which focused on the central role of families as anchors for identity and sense of belonging, and sources of support in good times and bad.

Mr Lee Hsien Loong also said: ‘I fervently hope that this year will be a big Dragon year for babies.‘ Historically, Singapore enjoys a baby boom every Dragon year, which comes round every 12 years.

…Singapore’s TFR has been on a downward trend and is way below the replacement level of 2.1. It fell from 1.60 in 2000 to 1.20 last year, despite government measures to encourage couples to have more children. The TFR for Chinese Singaporeans is lower, falling from 1.43 to 1.08 over the same period.

Whether there’s a spike in Dragon babies born or not, the general trend is a fertility decline. 1988, two Dragon Years ago, saw a  high of 1.98, a figure that seems unattainable now unless someone flushes our reservoirs with  fertility drugs. Baby booms alone, of course, will not guarantee population growth over time, no matter how many baby-friendly packages are promised by the PM every CNY. It was recently revealed that an average 1000 Singaporeans pack their bags for greener pastures EVERY YEAR. Making Singapore family-friendly isn’t enough, you need to make baby-boomers happy enough to want to stay, or at least not kill themselves. Which means a total revamp of the educational, labour, political and leisure scene to keep citizens stimulated and proud to be Singaporean, not just expanding maternity wards or building more kindergartens.

Lee Kuan Yew kickstarted the CNY baby wish-list in the 80′s after the Dragon boom in 1988.  While encouraging couples to ignore the Zodiac, he also refuted the long-held belief that the Dragon year was auspicious for China’s Chinese at all, citing the great Tangshan earthquake in the last dragon year in 1976.

We should not decide the birth of our children by animal years. Have your babies in any year, including the Snake Year.

And if that year has less babies than Dragon Year, there will be the advantage of more places in good schools and at universities.

The latter statement was a catch that his son refused to elaborate on 24 years later, just as I suspected. But that was 1988, and even though we were just below the 2.1 replacement mark then, we could afford to temper the Dragon craze with a healthy  dose of reality.

Here’s a sample of PM’s baby urgings during CNY speeches over the years, and whether what he wished for actually came true.

2011 (Rabbit), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR increased by 0.05 to 1.20 :

I hope more couples will start or add to their families in the Year of the Rabbit. Chinese New Year is the time for families to come together in celebration, and more babies can mean only more joy in the years to come.

2010 (Tiger), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR dropped from 1.23 to 1.15:

It is one thing to encourage ourselves with the traditional attributes of the zodiac animals…But it is another to cling on to superstitions against children born in the Year of the Tiger, who are really no different from children born under other animal signs.

2009 (Ox), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR dropped from 1.28 to 1.23 (Official stats cite the latter TFR as 1.22)

Even in hard times, we should not neglect the need to bring up a new generation. If you remember, every time there was a recession, birth rates went down. But I hope this time we can buck the trend and keep the birth rate steady. We have implemented many measures to encourage marriage and help you in supporting and bringing up your children. There is also a lag time in procreation, so with luck your babies will arrive in time to enjoy the upswing.

2008(Rat), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR dropped from 1.29 to 1.28.

The government is studying the practical arrangements carefully, to see how we can create an even friendlier environment for having and raising children. We want Singapore to be a great place to bring up families and children.

Looking at his track record since 2008, it’s either PM Lee’s mild exhortations are falling on deaf ears, or the family initiatives are simply not working. To sum up, here’s the TFR trend since 2004:

1.24 (2004), 1.25 (2005), 1.26 (2006),  1.29 (2007), 1.28 (2008), 1.22 (2009), 1.15 (2010), 1.20 (2011)

Which suggests a slow positive creep of TFR up to the point of 2007-2008, when the recession hit, followed by a Tiger year double-whammy barely 2 years later. Meanwhile, the media continues to bombard us with fascinating who’s-who trivia of Dragon personalities, from Li Ka-Shing to Keanu Reeves, when they should have done the same for the Tiger year instead of perpetuating the bossy Tiger female stereotype. But is it truly a race effect? Let’s break it down.

In the 2010 Tiger year, the Chinese TFR hit 1.02, the Malays dipped rather dramatically to  1.65, while the Indians held steady at 1.13. Which means there was nothing special about the drop among the Chinese in 2009-2010 compared to the previous year ( a rate of -0.06); something else was amiss. In the last Dragon year in 2000, the reverse happened, but surprisingly not just for the Chinese. The other races seemed to respond to the Dragon’s roar as well, according to a ‘crude rate report’ charting birth rates from 1997 to 2006. But then it wasn’t just a Dragon year, it was the start of a new MILLENNIUM, and it would be interesting to see if any birth spike occurred 9 months post-Y2K.

Dragon spike for all 3 races

Only time will tell if 2012 breathes fire into the wombs of our women, whether Chinese, Malay or Indian. Meanwhile, the government should focus not just on generating babies or allowing the media to suggest that Dragon babies can grow up to become just like Professor X (Patrick Stewart), but retaining them when they grow older.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Filed under: 1980s, 2000s, 2010, 2011, 2012, Babies, Chinese New Year, Festivals, Politicians, Public holidays, Superstitions | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Overnight queueing for Lim Chee Guan Bak Kwa

Posted on January 15, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘S’poreans queueing overnight for bak kwa’, 15 Jan 2012, article in insing.com, translated from SM Daily

…Singaporeans are even queuing up through the night to get their bak kwa this time round. Well known bak kwa store Lim Chee Guan saw its stock sold out within 75 minutes of its opening at 9am this morning.

…The prices of bak kwa has also risen from $48 per kg yesterday to $50 per kg today.Each person was limited to buying 30kg yesterday, and the limit lowered to 20kg per person today.

Bak kwa prices are expected to rise further as Chinese New Year, the biggest day of the year for the Chinese, inches closer. One of those in the queue, Ms Chen, told reporters that she had taken a taxi from Hougang to New Bridge Road at about 6am to get the bak kwa. Together with five others, the group queued for four hours before they managed to buy their bak kwa.

The group planned to spend $6,000 to buy 120kg of bak kwa for their relatives and friends, and to give out to company employees. They had even arranged for vehicles to help carry the bak kwa back.

Many in the queue also appeared prepared for the long wait as some came with portable chairs while others were seen leisurely reading the papers. Reporters spoke to some folks in the queue, asking why they would spend so much time queuing for bak kwa. They explained that this is because the bak kwa here is delicious, and they get to feel the festive vibe by joining the queue.

The festive vibe is Bak

More than a week to go to CNY and the price of Lim Chee Guan bak kwa has already escalated to $50/kg. Last year, according to KeropokMan’s blog, it hit $52/kg on Jan 30 at LCG Chinatown, and an anecdotal forum complaint in 2011 cited $54/kg at the LCG in Ion Orchard, both prices surpassing the ‘Big Five-O’ which bak kwa lovers  feared in 2008.  There’s even a Bak Kwa Index to monitor ‘sizzling’ prices over the days leading up to CNY. According to a 2007 report, LCG raised its price to $44 from $38 a month earlier, more than 2 weeks before CNY on Feb 18 that year. The 2007 $2 increase per week seems conservative in light of how the same rise occurred A DAY this CNY.

A writer to the ST called the bak kwa companies ‘oligopolistic’, and swore to avoid the fatty snack altogether. Such profiteering was apparent in the early 2000′s, when $48/kg bak kwa was already in existence. But what’s curious about the CNY-bak kwa phenomenon is despite the hike, or BECAUSE of it, the queues have taken on similar characteristics to the HnM line last year; overnight camping and bak kwa lovers treating what appears to me is a sheer waste of time as some kind of ‘occasion’. 6 to 8 hour queues were unheard of when people first began jacking up the prices, and counter-intuitively, the higher the price per kg, the longer the wait. I’d rather spend the time spring cleaning my kitchen fridge, cabinets and all windows in my house.

Even more puzzling is how bak kwa can be taken for granted when it’s readily available throughout the year, when other seasonal goodies like pineapple tarts and love letters fail to take on the allure of scarcity to justify a price increase. A common argument is that prices of pork and oil have increased, but hasn’t everything else? Like flour, eggs, pineapples? The economics of bak kwa price hikes aside, there could be other human factors behind the absurd success of bak kwa, that people are willing to wait for ages and fork out such money for a few slices of dried BBQ meat, which in the Western context, is something you can prepare at home by simply plonking pork jerky over a weekend grill.

Surprisingly, it’s not so much the actual TASTE of Lim Chee Guan’s meat that draws the crowds. In a 2009 blind taste test, Lim Chee Guan was rated similarly to Bee Cheng Hiang, though both were chosen as top picks. BCH, of course, is the Sakae Sushi of bak kwa. I might as well buy a lot of bak kwa from the nearest mall, remove the packaging, trick my guests with a miserable tale of how I queued in the rain for 6 hours in Chinatown, and they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. In fact, even if they COULD tell the difference (which would rank them above the experts), they wouldn’t dispute and embarrass their host in the spirit of CNY. Perhaps the brand name helps too, since naming a bak kwa company after an actual person has a ring of authenticity to it, bringing to mind images of its founder (who happens to be NOT called Lim Chee Guan) sweating over the flames, stoking his moist, sweet hand-cut meats to crispy perfection.

What about  auspiciousness then? According to food guru K.F Seetoh, bak kwa is ‘long yoke’ in Cantonese, which means a ‘robust fortune ahead’, though true only for bak kwa sellers rather than those eating it  (more like robust ‘myocardial infarction risk’ ahead). Steeped in tradition and a ‘die-die-must-have’ staple aside, I’m hazarding a theory that it’s not the taste, or the ‘meaning’ behind bak kwa that drives people to camp overnight for what’s possibly the unhealthiest, most carcingogenic containing CNY goodie of all. Buying bak kwa is a gesture to show how much you’re willing to splurge and sacrifice for your guests, and the more expensive it gets, the longer the wait, the more generous and altruistic it makes you look, no matter how it ends up tasting like marinated cardboard.  Nothing scores more points than a gift of expensive bak kwa to your boss, or a prospective parent-in-law. It also helps that queuing happens to be a Singaporean pasttime, which pretty much explains everything.

Filed under: 2000s, 2011, 2012, Chinese New Year, Festivals, Local food, Money, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Seng Han Thong’s nightmare before Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2011 by gdy2shoez

From ‘MP Seng not racist, says Shanmugam’, 25 Dec 2011, article by Teo Wan Gek, Sunday Times

…During a Channel NewsAsia programme Blog TV, which aired on Monday, Mr Seng made a comment which some found to be racist. He was asked about the lack of communication with passengers during the evening peak-hour breakdown of MRT trains last Thursday.

In his response, he misquoted an SMRT officer, who had earlier said: ‘Our staff at the stations and in the trains may not be making sufficient announcements and also good enough announcements. And that’s because our staff of different races, it could be Malay, Chinese, or Indians or any other race, they sometimes find it difficult to speak in English.’

But Mr Seng, when rebutting the officer’s comments, mentioned only Malay and Indian train drivers. He later clarified that he misheard the SMRT officer’s remarks, which he had heard over radio while driving.

…Mr Seng has since apologised for his remarks.

It’s Christmas Day, and instead of government officials sending well wishes or attending to holiday ‘ponding’, they’re spending time on damage control over an MP’s blooper, or Freudian slip, whatever critics want to call it. A driver who’s unable to calm passengers in the midst of an emergency breakdown is a victim of inadequate training, drills and SOPs. As an organisation with a rigid mastery over templates, surely there should be some standard announcements in place to aid anxious train drivers during disruptions.  This is all just one finger-pointing and tactless blame-shifting after another between various MPs, an SMRT vice president named Goh Chee Kong, and train drivers . If this incident and Desmond Choo’s backfired sexist anecdote tells us anything, it’s that politicians need to stop paraphrasing totally, or learn how to use the disclaimer ‘I quote’ or read excerpts out loud from pieces of paper instead.

In Seng’s defence, he seems to suggest that ‘broken English’ is OK when desperate times call for it, which runs counter to the efforts of our Speak Good English campaign, that lapsing into sub-par English is our ‘default’ setting in stressful situations, while putting on Good English politeness for mundane things such as telling someone that you need to ‘excuse yourself’ for the washroom is expected of us.  In fact, broken English/Singlish, by doing away with time-wasting grammatical formalities, would be ideal in a situation where every second counts and sounding professional should be the least of your worries. The problem is speaking English of any sort, whether broken or of the pristine BBC standard, isn’t very useful when one considers elderly passengers who would be more prone to fainting spells or injuries in the event of a disruption, in which you would have to depend on good Samaritans to do the necessary translation, provided of course that the driver is relaying the right instructions, and that passengers are not busy smashing windows for air in panic. You can bet SMRT will not be happily celebrating their annual Xmas dinner, despite earning the title of the year’s biggest turkey. Even if there was some form of celebration, you can bet no one wants to be caught pants down being treated like a pharaoh like CEO Saw Phaik Hwa in a previous DnD. You probably wouldn’t see the Dim Sum Dollies providing the night’s entertainment as well.

Seng Han Thong’s faux pas is mild compared to the remark on Indians by ex-MP and soon to be convict (twice) Choo Wee Khiang, whose atrocious joke on skin colour qualifies as true racism.  But being labelled a racist and trolled online isn’t the worst that this man has suffered. In Jan 2009, MP Seng was literally FLAMED by an assailant whilst attending a community event as Yio Chu Kang GRC MP. He was inflicted with burns on 15% of his body and his attacker was determined to be a 70 year old retired taxi driver who was subsequently admitted to IMH. Even then, not everyone was sympathetic, with some forum users adopting a ‘let this be a lesson to MPs for bullying the elderly‘ tone, adding ‘fuel to the fire’. The MP torcher was even lauded as a ‘courageous hero’ by others.

It appears that MP Seng has a history of drawing the ire of crazy old taxi drivers. Earlier in July 2006, he was punched in the face, again by a 70-plus former cab driver during a Meet the People session. The attacker was reportedly unhappy that his contract was terminated by ComfortDelgro and demanded an answer from his MP. Despite being boxed in the face and suffering the trauma of being burnt alive, this man continues to serve, though he  might be wearing asbestos underwear wherever he goes and have a phobia of blowing birthday candles for the rest of his life.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Filed under: 2000s, 2011, Corporations, Customer service, MRT, Politicians, Public holidays, Racism, Singlish/Broken english, Taxi drivers, Violence | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

NDP should be NC-16 because of cross-dressing

Posted on August 11, 2011 by gdy2shoez

From ‘One people , one dress code, please’ and ‘Change to a neutral hue’, 11 Aug 2011, ST Forum

(Ronald Seow): …The National Day Parade is a celebration of citizens, united as one people, regardless of race, language or religion – and more so, political differences.

It should be a significant annual event uniting all political leaders to celebrate Singapore’s birthday. I hope future parades will see all MPs dressed in the national colours – a combination of red and white or the official orchid-patterned shirts and dresses.

MPs must make an effort to stand as one united people to serve the people of Singapore. They should take pride in their efforts to lead in nation building, and not show off their political party colours.

(MR ERIC ONG): I couldn’t help but wonder why no MP turned up in red. Instead, they wore white or light blue tops. Surely they should be together as one with fellow citizens in celebration. A red top with a pair of white trousers or skirt would not go amiss in the sea of red we saw in the stands.

We have had 46 years of independence and NDP celebrations, so why bring up minister dress code only now?  The PAP’s all-white get up has become an indispensable prop at parades by tradition, like marching soldiers or the playing of the national anthem. It is an iconic feature and source of countless ‘men in white’ puns throughout the PAP’s reign as the only political party ever to govern this young nation, which explains why it never struck us to have our ministers wearing red or orchid motifs for a change.  It’s like seeing a clown perform without a red nose, Professor Dumbledore without a flowing white beard, or Hawaiian hula dancers without coconuts.

The VIP stand in 1967

It only makes sense for the Workers’ Party MPs to come dressed in their own party colours because PAP wouldn’t budge having dressed white for half a century, nor would they don red because that also happens to be what SPP ‘s Lina Chiam was wearing that day, despite red being the most obvious alternative to white. If anyone had the foresight to picture this awkward situation even happening, they would have chosen non-flag colours for party logos in the first place. Like how Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United fans all wear England jerseys to a World Cup match, despite being loggerheads when dressed in their respective club jerseys.  Some MPs like Penny Low would gladly welcome the idea of being nondescript and disappearing into a sea of red, but for all the wrong reasons. Heck, why bother with the VIP stand at all and just  do away with the formality of physical segregation altogether? Why not make our ministers march with the contingent and perform for us like they used to do way back in 1966 (Day and night of fun and joy in S’pore, 10 Aug 1966, ST), mingle with us, sing NDP songs with us and rummage through Fun Packs with the enthusiasm of a child opening Santa’s present like everyone else?

From ‘Drag wrong, guys’, 11 Aug 2011, ST Forum

(Ivan Lau): ..As a parent of three young children, I question the appropriateness of cross-dressing in the segment on racial harmony and nation building.

Prominent male comedian Gurmit Singh, known to young audiences in his role as a male alien in the television series Cosmo & George that airs on Okto, was sari-clad as an Indian woman.

Talented male actor Chua Enlai, known to children as a male host of many programmes on Okto, was dressed as a young, modern woman.

Was such casting necessary in the context of portraying racial harmony and nation building on national television? Or was it the organising committee’s intention to portray harmony of another kind, namely that of transgender or transsexuality? It that was the intent, then the show should had been more aptly rated NC-16.

Singled ladies

Well you’ve got to admit, men in dresses are cheap sight gags and worthy of a snigger or two if you’re the kind who used to tape America’s Funniest Home Videos and play them at family gatherings,  but I thought in the spirit of family-friendly wholesomeness  it would have been more appropriate to rope in the Dim Sum Dollies for this skit. The trio has disappeared since the ‘Love Your Ride’ jingle-torture and are probably on indefinite hiatus from public service announcement jobs considering the fact that their boa-swishing and harmonised cooing did absolutely nothing to improve comfort or graciousness in trains. We even have to pay more for it now.

It probably didn’t matter who performs anyway because the script was a sheer waste of the gender-bending comedic talents of both Singh and En Lai, with both resorting to pitch changes and maniacal shrieking to amuse the crowd. And the problem with dolling up two men going over-the-top just to justify the extra weight of fake boobs and leaving one actual female actress in the cast is that it effectively renders the real woman invisible. As for rating, I thought slapping a NC-16 on cross-dressing was a tad harsh. Children are already familiar with the likes of Liang Po Po and Aunty Lucy on national TV, so a milder PG-13 would surely be enough.

Filed under: 1960s, 2011, Cross dressing, Dress sense, Festivals, Local actors, Politicians, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Penny’s all time NDP Low

Posted on August 10, 2011 by gdy2shoez

From ‘MP checks phone during national anthem’, 10 Aug 2011, article in insing.com

…Member of Parliament (MP) Penny Low was spotted being occupied with her phone during the singing of the national anthem at the National Day Parade (NDP) yesterday.

…A netizen “UptheToon” said, “Shows even the MP don’t really care about Singapore or our songs.”

Other netizens defend the MP, suggesting that she may be checking that her phone is on silent mode. There are also suggestions that Ms Low may have dropped her phone. Kenneth Jeyaretnam, secretary general of the Reform Party, posted his take of the matter on his Facebook page.

He commented on a picture of MP Penny Low looking down at her mobile phone, “HP addiction is an illness. She needs help and treatment not punishment.”

Malu Lah Singapura

According to the Singapore Arms and Flag and National Anthem Rules, 2004 (too many ‘ands’ for a title of a legal statute perhaps?):

Respect for National Anthem

12. When the National Anthem is performed or sung, every person present shall stand up as a mark of respect.

13.—(1) Any person performing or singing the National Anthem shall perform or sing the National Anthem according to the official arrangement in the Third Schedule or any other arrangement permitted under paragraph (2).

…(3) Any person who sings the National Anthem —

(a) shall follow the official lyrics in the Third Schedule; and (b) shall not sing any translation of those lyrics.

…(3) Any person who knowingly performs or sings the National Anthem in contravention of rule 13 (1) or (3) shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $1,000.

Technically, this means those of us who have been singing berseru instead of bersatu have been contravening rule 13 (3) part a and should have been fined $1000 for not following the official lyrics of Majulah Singapura. As for rule 12, it doesn’t specify the radius from the source of the anthem within which every person ‘shall stand up as a mark of respect’. It also doesn’t say if it’s illegal to stand but turn your back against the direction of the flag (if there’s one being raised), that you have to sing the anthem while standing, to talk to a friend while it’s being played, to yawn, close your eyes, giggle, chew gum, or in Penny Low’s case, stealing a quick glance at your handphone instead of belting out the empathic chorus of our anthem with hand-on-heart gusto and feeling.

Any MP who does so much as scratch an itch, tap his feet, doze off or fumble a lyric during a very pivotal moment in any NDP would be subject to the same online shaming. Penny Low was an unlucky victim of an untimely camera pan, yet nobody cares about the behaviour of the other spectators during NDP (I’m sure there must be at least ONE person out there SITTING down and clearly infringing the law), whether our army contingents march in sync,  or  of perennial host Gurmit Singh telling Singapore to ‘make some noise’ again and again.   The whole reason why people still watch the NDP is to capture our leaders in gaffes like these, have it catch on like wildfire and tsk-tsk away at work for some fun office bonding, when a more useful topic of discussion would be to question what volunteers dressed up as milk and cookies and dancing has to do with the Singapore story.   It’s Majulah, I thought, not Disney’s Fantasia.

It would have been fine with Ms Low just left it as that; we don’t want to know what you’re doing with your handphone. But instead we get this justification in her  Facebook post:

(Penny Low): I was so caught up in the wonderful NDP 2011 and felt so proud of being a Singaporean, that i wanted to capture that moment of pride, at the very tail end of the anthem, to share on FB with my residents. If in my enthusiasm i offended anyone, please accept my apologies. NDP is a time to unite not divide. Majulah Singapura!

A few things. An MP should never use pride in the nation as an excuse for getting carried away from what’s basic courtesy and decorum. It’s like texting your spouse or girlfriend while you’re having lunch with your boss because you can’t help LOVING her so much. Next, just because the anthem is at its tail end doesn’t mean you can slack off. For a true blue Singaporean, pausing at the climatic drumroll of Majulah Singapura is like choking during the crescendo of an orgasm.  Thirdly, your ‘residents’ don’t care about your Facebook uploads when they can watch the parade live from all camera angles on Channel 5.  Lastly, the crafty line ‘a time to unite not divide’ i.e don’t slam me because it’s National Day is cocky blame-shifting. Here’s what happened, Penny: You are hooked on Facebook and you just had to post something because you just didn’t have the patience to hang on till the end of the National Anthem.  Still think politicians and social media go well together? Kenneth Jeyaretnam is right, Penny Low needs medical attention stat.  Fellow MP Tin Pei Ling may have a good doctor to recommend for such compulsive behaviour.

Filed under: 2011, Bloggers, Festivals, Politicians, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

National flag more than a piece of cloth

Posted on August 6, 2011 by gdy2shoez

From ‘A national flag is more than a piece of cloth’, 5 aug 2011, Voices, Today

(Sanjay Bhatia): I REFER to Mr Chan Hean Boon’s letter “Let’s fly the Singapore flag” (Aug 3). As a foreigner in this country, I am appalled that a Singaporean blatantly blames the influx of foreigners as a reason for the erosion of Singaporeans’ love for their country (“I believe the influx of foreigners over the past few years may have slowly eroded our affection for this country, and Singaporeans no longer have the passion to fly the flag”, 3 Aug, Voices, Today)

Hanging flags outside flats does not reflect a love for the country. A flag is more than just a piece of cloth, to be counted. It is to a nation what a name is to a man. I know of a lot of countries that even have rules on how to hoist the national flag and how to respect the flag. People fight and die for their national flags.

I would like to remind Mr Chan what the Singapore national flag represents: The Singapore National Flag consists of two equal horizontal sections, red above white. In the top left canton is a white crescent moon beside five white stars within a circle. Each feature has its own distinctive meaning and significance: Red symbolises universal brotherhood and equality of man; white signifies pervading and everlasting purity and virtue; the crescent moon represents a young nation on the ascendant; and the five stars stand for the nation’s ideals of democracy, peace, progress, justice and equality. Lastly, as a foreigner, I respect Singapore and applaud the Government for building such a great nation.

I have a number of Singaporean friends and colleagues and have never felt any hatred such as that shining through Mr Chan’s letter. It may do him good to take a step back and understand the meaning of the red colour in the flag that hangs outside his own home.

The state flag as we know it today is about 52 years young (Singapore chooses own flag and anthem, 9 Nov 1959, ST) and this foreigner is spot on with the symbolism, though most Singaporeans are unlikely to be able to rattle off what the five stars stand for.  I used to think these were taken off the Pledge (..to build a democratic society based on justice and equality…so as to achieve happiness, prosperity, and progress for the nation), which explains why so many others can’t recall the fifth star (peace), or mix this up with ‘prosperity‘. He left out the part on ‘red’ symbolising the blood of all men, that no nation was built without first sacrificing her sons and daughters in the process. Nothing special about red really, most nations have it splayed all over their flags, and probably for the same violent reason. (On a side note, Bhutan has my vote for the coolest state flag ever)

This rather arrogant response is revenge against being accused of diluting the patriotism in this country, and no Singaporean would relish the thought of being educated on the meaning of the flag’s colours by a foreigner (more so if we don’t know the answer ourselves), though the complainant’s lecture on flag symbolism sounds like a 10 year series entrance exam model answer to qualify for citizenship. But is it really the foreigners’ fault? Were we more patriotic before the immigration influx or did we simply grow tired of the same shebang year in year out? Are our immigrants just a convenient scapegoat masking a more deep-seated apathy towards nationbuilding and what it represents?A poll conducted in 1989 revealed that Singaporeans are a hapless lot when it comes to state flag trivia, with some giving pathetic guesses like ‘five races: Chinese, Indian, Malay, Europeans and Caucasians’ to explain why there are 5 stars (Many do not know flag’s significance, 29 July 1989, ST). Back in 1972, state flags were already treated worse than kitchen floor rags (Surely a symbol of loyalty should be something like this? 19 May 1972, ST). So it’s not just about foreigners,  and Chan Hean Boon’s veiled jingoism is perhaps an excuse for the fact that we just don’t care anymore.

Incidentally, having a flag outside your home doesn’t necessarily mean you adore the country. The one flying outside my corridor was set up mysteriously overnight, along with rest of the floors, neatly arranged in a straight line on the block. I figure it’s the complacency of having the government create this festive illusion for us instead of people  getting together, making the effort to tie flags to poles, erecting and saluting them that is the cause of our woeful attitude. We, the citizens of Singapore, are more likely to have Halloween parties than National Day Parade theme parties, simply because Halloween is more fun.

Another reason could be the display of the flag being governed by rather antediluvian state laws which makes it rather tedious for anyone who wants to express their pride for the country in a creative way without running afoul of Paragraph 6 of the ‘National State Arms and Flag and National Anthem rules’, first drafted in 1960 in which it forbade the use of the state flag as a ‘print pattern or for other commercial purpose”. Which means you can’t wear a T shirt with the Singapore flag on it then (maybe you still can’t). 1969 Miss Tourism Rosalind Ong contravened the law by sporting the national flag design, and the restriction was exercised again as recently as 1986, almost landing Miss Singapore Universe  in trouble too (See pic/link below, Not the way to keep flag flying, 5 June 1986, ST).

Pageants aside, any artist wanting to use the state flag as an inspiration and motif would also get his work banned outright, being in flagrant violation of the State Flag laws (Govt’s red flag up over art, 25 Jan 2003, Today). Just last year, another artpiece was slammed for showing utter disrespect to the source of its inspiration during the ‘Paint the Town Red and White‘ exhibition. And who could forget the image of our waterpolo boys in full on skimpy NDP mode burned in our retinas.

No wearing of Singapore flag on the head

In 2007, the regulations were updated to read as follows:

Use of Flag

…9.—(1) No person shall use or apply the Flag or any image thereof —

(a) for any commercial purpose; (b) as a means, or for the purpose, of any advertisement; or (c) as or as part of any furnishing, decoration, covering or receptacle, except in such circumstances as may be approved by the Minister, being circumstances wherein there is no disrespect for the Flag.

…(4) Subject to paragraph (5), no person shall use or apply the Flag or any image thereof as or as part of any costume or attire except in such circumstances as may be approved by the Minister, being circumstances wherein there is no disrespect for the Flag.

…(6) Subject to paragraph (7), no person shall produce or display any flag which bears any graphics or word superimposed on the design of the Flag.

(7) Paragraph (6) shall not apply to the production by or on behalf of, or the display by, any Government department of its flag.

(8) In this rule, ‘‘receptacle’’ includes a paper, plastic and refuse bag.

Meaning, if you don’t want to be $1o00 poorer, it’s better to play it safe and not display it at all, or hire someone to stand guard 24 hours a day by your flag just to make sure it doesn’t get flipped over or have any birdshit on it. You also can’t throw away a crumpled dirty flag into a ‘receptable’ even if it reeks worse than a soiled diaper without asking the Minister for permission. It’s also strange how locals get slammed for being creative, but nothing is done to apprehend Malaysian football fans  for defacing it in what’s obviously in contravention of (6) above, unless of course, the law doesn’t apply to foreigners.

Bad spelling is a greater crime

The word ‘disrespect’ is also ambiguous; burning or using it wipe your buttocks after a dump is a clear fine straightaway, but what’s more dodgy are scenarios like wrapping a newborn infant in it, using it as a blanket or posting the flag on your blog with the words ‘I LOVE SINGAPORE’ photoshopped over it. With so many restrictions, it’s really not surprising that our willingness to express our national pride is..(get ready for it)..flagging.

Happy National Day, Singapore.

Filed under: 1950s, 1970s, 1980s, 2000s, 2010, 2011, Art, Beauty pageants, Festivals, Foreign workers, Justice system/Lawsuits, Ms Singapore Universe, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Another Home spoils image of Singapore

Posted on August 2, 2011 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Video spoof of S’pore causes stir online’, 2 Aug 2011, article in Asiaone.com

A VIDEO clip taking a fresh spin on Dick Lee’s classic National Day song, Home, has caused a stir online. The seven-minute clip entitled Another Home, produced by Singapore Independent Films Only (SINdie), gives an irreverent twist to Singapore’s key talking points in the past year. SINdie is a website dedicated to independent films here.

The pro-bono video project has garnered about 45,000 hits since it was posted online last Saturday. It was put together by a production team and cast of about 60 people.

…The video also features the Singapore Democratic Party’s bear mascot in a pair of swimming trunks, similar to those worn infamously by members of the national water-polo team last November.

SINdie founder Jeremy Sing, 34, told my paper he feels that Singaporeans are “mature enough to laugh at ourselves”, especially after the recent watershed General Election. He declined to reveal the video’s production costs, saying that the video was intended to “stir conversation”, while stressing that it was not politically driven.

Chua, who plays the NSF in the clip, said: “It’s like a review…of what Singapore got up to as a 45-year-old. It’s like those videos that one has to watch at a wedding banquet.”

There were mixed reactions from netizens, though. Netizen Jacksonlcq said that the video “spoils the image of Singapore”, while a few others said that it was embarrassing.

This image creeps me out

Considering the high production values invested in this clip, it would be waste if it were not featured on national television. Not exactly a montage of the last 45 years of our history, but rather a compilation of sly references to the most talked about cultural memes over the past year: NSF and his backpack-carrying maid, Tin Pei Ling, Nicole Seah, national water-polo team swimming trunks, election mushrooms, YOG Oh yeah Oh yeah cheer, Fun Pack Song (at the end credits). You could say it’s almost like a Noose musical version, but judging from the crop of musical tributes from past NDPs and its generally low tolerance of satire and obsession with bland patriotic fluff, it’s unlikely that you’ll see this featured in this year’s celebrations, though it may score higher in terms of Youtube hits than any other NDP song in history.

This is where I MUST be

In fact one could detect a sense of restraint from going totally off the cuff with the inside jokes here, though that would mean it would be banned outright for being, well, simply too Singaporean for the NDP organisers’ liking.  The SDP bear in obscene waterpolo trunks is probably the funniest thing here, while using a bizarre doppleganger in the form of Tin Pei Ling was  a bit too obvious and predictable. Still, at least there’s no pesky rapping going on, unlike the ‘We Are the World’ version of the exact same song featuring Sheik Haikel. There’s so much potential in this to be something wildly magical, and you get the feeling that it was created half-heartedly for mass appeal without offending anyone too much in order to get a rare shot at the NDP. Nothing wrong with playing it safe, but there’s this gnawing feeling that Chua En Lai and gang are capable of so much more than just 7 minutes of cheesy dancing, Tin Pei Ling pouting and bad synchronised swimming.

Still, spoofing is always preferable to what our past NDP songs have been doing all this while: Recycling. I present to you now the most over-used word that is not ‘We’  in the history of NDP songs:

‘We are told no dream‘s too bold that we can’t try for’ – Count on Me Singapore, 1986

‘Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows’ – Home, 1998

‘Where dreams come true for us’ – Where I Belong, 2001

‘Our dreams we’ll all achieve’ – Reach out for the Skies, 2005

‘Your dreams and hopes will all come true’ – Shine for Singapore, 2008

‘With our hopes and dreams, imagine what tomorrow will bring’ – What do you See, 2009

‘Live our wildest dreams’ – Sing a Song for Singapore, 2010

‘I have a dream of starting a life’ – In a Heartbeat, 2011

Filed under: 2011, Local actors, Local music/bands, Music/music videos, Public holidays | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

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