Demon-cratic Singapore creator arrested for sedition

Posted on April 24, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Cartoonist arrested over complaint’, 24 April 2013, article by Feng Zengkun, ST

SINGAPOREAN cartoonist Leslie Chew, 37, was arrested last Friday by the police after a complaint was filed against him about one of his cartoons, his lawyer said yesterday. Mr Choo Zheng Xi, who is with law firm Peter Low LLC, said Mr Chew was held over the weekend and released on Sunday night after posting bail of $10,000. He will have to report to the police again on April 30.

…Mr Chew draws the cartoon strip, Demon-cratic Singapore, which is posted regularly on Facebook. According to a description on the strip’s Facebook page, it is “a totally fictional comic with entirely fictional characters based on wholly fictional events in a fictional country“.

Mr Choo said Mr Chew is being investigated for alleged sedition, in relation to a cartoon posted on March 27 regarding the Malay population. He added that Mr Chew was also questioned about a second cartoon which was not included in the complaint.

This was posted on Dec 14 last year, and was the subject of a letter sent by the Attorney-General’s Chambers (AGC) to Mr Chew three days later, said Mr Choo. He said that in the letter, the AGC said the cartoon “scandalises our Courts through allegations and imputations that are scurrilous and false”. He added the cartoonist had not yet been charged.

Late last night, a cartoon depicting Mr Chew’s questioning by the police – whom he described as “very professional” – was uploaded on the Facebook page. Last night, the police said they were looking into the matter.

Chew’s cartoon was not discriminatory against Malays, but referred to the government of ‘Demon-cratic Singapore’ as a racist one. The strip that ‘scandalises’ the courts depicts a character called ‘Pinky’ Loong kicking a High Court Judge out of his office and also involves a cheating politician not so subtly named ‘Michael Phucker’. Other uncannily familiar characters in the Demon-cratic Universe include $8 KHAW,  Teo CHEE HONG, HAIRY Lee, THORNY Tan and Ho JINX. Incidentally, the evil party in Chew’s story is called ‘Party against People’. The entire cast sounds inspired by nicknames straight out of an EDMW or Sammyboy forum thread conceived by 13-year olds. Not exactly Mad Magazine material, I suppose.

Some authors have the nerve to do away with the ‘parallel universe’ angle and mock the PAP straight up. In 1971, 22 year old cartoonist Morgan Chua drew a cartoon of LKY riding a tank threatening to crush a baby symbolising the paper he worked for, the Singapore Herald. LKY’s also a favorite target of foreign humorists;  You can only purchase ‘Harry Lee Kuan Yew, A Pictorial Account of his Life and Times‘ online, a collection of lampoons by Rodney King, an Australian who worked here for more than a decade. In this book the ‘lovable old twerp’ ‘gets a good hand-bagging from Maggie Thatcher’ and ‘falls down a rubbish chute’. It would have been funnier if his caricature of LKY didn’t resemble the stereotype of a slant-eyed Asian.

You can, however, publish a book full of toon politicians here if you’re careful enough. Greg Nonis gave us ‘Hello Chok Tong, Goodbye Kuan Yew’ in 1991. Today, if you’re lucky, the authorities will tolerate your satire if you bypass the censors and post comics on your own blog or Facebook, provided you cover yourself with the appropriate disclaimers and give your characters names that would trigger a knowing smirk in your reader but not an angry lawyer’s letter. My Sketch Times features a DR ‘WOLF WU‘ who’s ‘helping to change the way traffic procedures are performed’. S’pore Says posted a cartoon of a ‘Mr Wong’ in a Monkey King head vice getting a headache when the mantra ‘Mas Selamat’ is chanted. The Cartoon Press, which I must say boasts some of the best pencilwork I’ve seen so far, has a turkey with what looks very much like Lim Swee Say’s head.  Some of this stuff is actually funnier than Demon-cratic Singapore, which has ‘episodes’ with too much text and one too many cringingly lame name-puns.

Anyway here’s a random picture of our Prime Minister in a pink shirt. Hmm..I wonder if anyone has made a caricature of this already.

 

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Filed under: 2000s, 2013, Art, Cartoons, Justice system/Lawsuits, Police officers, Politicians, Racism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Schools reporter Eisen Teo sacked from ST

Posted on February 2, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Ex-ST reporter faces probe over allegation of underage sex’, 2 Feb 2013, article in ST

A FORMER reporter with The Straits Times is being investigated by the police over an allegation of underage sex. Mr Eisen Teo, 28, who was on the Schools team, had his services terminated by Singapore Press Holdings (SPH) on Jan 18. This followed an internal investigation.

An SPH spokesman said yesterday: “As the police investigation is still ongoing, we are unable to provide further details at this point in time.” Mr Teo was called in for questioning by the police in late December.

It is understood that he has not been charged. A Singapore Press Holdings local scholar, he joined the paper in 2009 and was part of the Schools team, which produces two magazines for schools – Little Red Dot for primary pupils, and IN for secondary students. It also conducts activities for students in its media club.

He was well regarded by colleagues and news of the police probe shocked the newsroom.

A popular Twitter user, Eisen describes himself on his profile as ‘a journalist, historian, DREAMBLOWER, rebel and lover’ to his over 1300 followers. His ‘About me’ introduction (deleted) includes a poetic abstract from what seems to be an erotic novella. An Honours student in History from NUS, he broke into news reporting in 2009 advocating Twitter as the ‘darling of new media exponents’. Earlier in 2008, he was a commentator in a piece about JC life being ‘a jungle of tribes’. Turns out he was from RJC too, according to the article ‘Growing up in Tribes’ (Dec 3 2008, ST)

While no former schoolmate has ever laid a finger on me, I was not spared the emotional roller coaster of group inclusion and exclusion at Raffles Junior College (RJC). I put my bitter-sweet experience down to the fact that I was not from its affiliated school, Raffles Institution (RI).

Undercover investigative journalism was part of the job as well. In 2010, he wrote about teens getting Fake IDs to get them access into clubs, cigarettes and alcohol. His article, titled ‘Time to get touch on fake-ID users’, started with the sentence: ‘Last month, I followed two 16 year olds on a VICE SPREE’. He continued to focus on youth issues, whether it’s about condom giveaways or skateboarding in Tampines (a Nov 2012 piece which could also very well be his last).

Eisen hasn’t been charged for the offence, so why this sudden firing during a pending police investigation?  Does SPH have a standard procedure for dealing with staff who get involved in public scandals, or are the inconsistencies in disciplinary action something to do with the nature of the alleged offence? In 2010, Senior Vice President Peter Khoo was sacked, but only after admitting to misappropriating funds, and eventually charged for corruption. Last year, STOMP content producer Samantha Francis was terminated by SPH for posting fake images of an MRT door remaining open while in motion. Just before the Punggol by-election, a former clerk for ST Classified Ads was arrested for sending death threats to Reform Party’s Kenneth Jeyaretnam. This guy was not even named. In the meantime, there’s another police investigation going on over a published ST snap poll prior to the by-election. No mention of people getting sacked here. In fact one of the reporters behind the original poll results went on to write an article about the poll being investigated.

Rarely is a journalist taken out because of what he actually writes. In 2006, Today suspended a contributor’s column for ‘distorting the truth’ about high costs of living. The offending article was titled ‘Singaporeans are fed, up with progress’, which suggested that the announcement of price increases were timed deliberately after the elections. The ‘anti-establishment’ content seems mild compared to what we read these days online, and the trend of withholding bad news only until after elections continues till this day with the White paper revelations. The columnist who got the beat down? Lee Kin Mun. Some of us know him as Mr Brown.

As for this SPH crackdown, it’s not so much Eisen doing the dream-blowing so much as his dreams being blown to bits. Don’t hold your breath waiting for the brainchild behind the ‘illegal’ ST poll to be brought to light, though.

Filed under: 2013, Justice system/Lawsuits, Police officers, Sex | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Police investigating Straits Times’ Punggol East by-election poll

Posted on January 13, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Police looking into ST publication of by-election poll’, 13 Jan 2013, article in Today online.

The police is looking into the Straits Times’ publication of the findings of a poll on the Punggol East by-election, said the Elections Department today. The article, published on Jan 10, polled 50 Punggol East residents on which party they were rooting for in the by-election.

Under the Parliamentary Elections Act, publishing the results of any election survey from the day the writ of election is issued until the close of all polling stations on polling day is not allowed. The writ of election was issued on Jan 9. In a statement today, the Elections Department said: “In response to media queries about the poll on the Punggol East By-Election published in the Straits Times on 10 January 2013, the case is currently being looked into by the Police.”

Since the article was published, netizens have questioned the legality of the report in online forums and social media.

Screen Shot 2013-01-13 at 9.33.09 PM

The Jan 10 article in question was titled ‘ST poll: More rooting for PAP’, which is misleading because out of the 50 Punggol residents surveyed, 19 supported PAP vs 10 for Opposition, and the remainder were ‘UNDECIDED’. It seems rather premature to say anything about the Punggol sentiment on the ground from such results, in particular something like ‘the EDGE that the ruling party appears to hold may be a reflection of  the incumbency advantage it has always held in a middle-class, traditionally PAP-leaning ward’. No details were given from the article on how the poll was conducted, but it appears that it was done through interviews of random residents. ST Editor Warren Fernandez confirmed my suspicions:

“Our reporters spoke with residents in Punggol East to get their comments and a sense of the ground for our election reports. This was not a full-scale survey, or scientific poll, by any means.

One would question the bias inherent in such straw polls where participants have to respond to a team of ST reporters who’re more than happy to publish your name and your OPINION for the whole country to see. It would be interesting, if it weren’t illegal, to see instead how Punggol residents would vote anonymously, through an online poll rather than having someone from a government-endorsed national paper approach you with a notepad and stuffing an audio recorder in your face. Maybe the 21 people weren’t ‘undecided’. They just didn’t feel comfortable, or afraid even. It’s as scientific as having Ah Long San going around asking what you think of graffiti. But that’s not quite the point is it? Does a straw poll have to be ‘full-scale’ and statistically rigorous before it is considered illegal? Here’s see what the Law says:

Blackout period for election survey results 78C.

—(1)  No person shall publish or permit or cause to be published the results of any election survey during the period beginning with the day the writ of election is issued for an election and ending with the close of all polling stations on polling day at the election.

[31/2001]
(2)  Any person who contravenes subsection (1) shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $1,500 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 12 months or to both.
[31/2001; 10/2010]

(2A)  The offence under subsection (2) shall be an arrestable offence within the meaning of the Criminal Procedure Code 2010.

[10/2010]

(3)  In this section, “election survey” means an opinion survey of how electors will vote at an election or of the preferences of electors respecting any candidate or group of candidates or any political party or issue with which an identifiable candidate or group of candidates is associated at an election.

Nowhere in this section of the Parliamentary Elections Act does it specify how thorough a survey must be before it’s allowed. But if you generate absolute numbers as to how many ‘rooted’ for PAP or Opposition, that sounds more than just an ‘opinion’ to me. You’re saying 19 people will vote PAP vs 10 for anyone else, clearly a statement of voter preference.

Such tightening of election laws was imposed in 2001 by Minister of Information and the Arts Lee Yock Suan, in response to the Internet facilitating such polls and this ‘crystal ball gazing’ having the potential to ‘sway voters’ or even influence election results.  In the last GE, Temasek Review’s Dr Ong Chor Teck was ARRESTED for conducting an exit poll on Polling Day. No idea what happened to him since. I doubt this was a ‘full scale’ or ‘scientific’ poll either, but I wonder what would have happened if he wasn’t behind a ‘socio-political’ PAP-bashing website, but from ST or Mediacorp instead.

What exactly is so dangerous or subversive about publishing pre-election polls? How is this more illegal than posting a personal opinion or how you voted on your Facebook page or blog, especially if you’re someone influential with a large following, a celebrity for example? Xiaxue is an unabashed PAP supporter, should we allow her to gush about her favourite political party during and after elections? So what if the ST thinks the PAP has an ‘advantage’ based on a crappy survey; don’t we ALL know that already? Not only is a ST pre-election poll illegal, it is also redundant in my opinion. If I want to know what Punggol residents think of the rising ‘son of Punggol’ or ‘unity candidates’, I’d access forums or eavesdrop on uncles at kopitiams, not scour the ST for anything remotely insightful. If the ST were let off with a mere warning on a technicality of ‘scientific rigour’, imagine the floodgates opening for the online random polls that would follow. If the premier mainstream paper can get away with it, what’s stopping me from publishing an informal poll on my Facebook, this blog, or via email to family and friends?

There were a trio of reporters responsible behind the article, a team consisting of Elgin Toh (who also wrote a breaking follow up ST article hours after this titled ‘Elections Department says police looking into ST report‘), Lim Yi Han and Chia Yi Min. But it’s senior management who needs to step into the firing line ( if anything even comes out of this) for allowing it to go to print. In the spirit of colorectal surgeon butt jokes, may the police PROBE sufficiently into this poll so that justice is served, and let’s hope some otherwise decent journalists don’t get their asses fried over this fiasco.

Filed under: 2011, 2013, Campaigns/Elections, Police officers | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Foreign student, 13, arrested for MBS bomb threat

Posted on January 1, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Boy arrested over threat to blow up MBS’, 1 Jan 2013, article in CNA

Police have arrested a 13-year-old boy who threatened to plant bombs in Marina Bay Sands. The boy had posted the threat on his Facebook page last Saturday. The boy cannot be named as he is a minor.

Police said the case is classified as a Breach of Prohibition Against False Threats of Terrorist Acts. If convicted, he could be fined up to S$100,000 and jailed up to 5 years.

Police investigations are ongoing.

What a way to start the New Year. The name of the culprit was withheld, but it’s likely to be a certain ‘Aditya Bhatia’, an Indian studying in the Global Indian International School according to his Facebook page (1 Jan 2013, ST). This is his ominous Facebook threat in its full uncensored glory.

Singapore: A piece of piece of shit

God knows what Singapore or MBS has done to incur the wrath of a destructive 13 year old, though you can’t exactly discount this rant as ‘mischief’ either, considering how kids these days could pick up bomb-building tips easily from Youtube. Maybe he thought the building was so ugly it had to be demolished. I doubt the US or Canadian immigration would accept him now that he’s getting a criminal record for terrorist behaviour, but I’m sure some Taliban scouts are interested. Spitting everywhere is a surefire way of getting caught, but Aditya Bomberman’s probably too preoccupied with angry thoughts of exploding things or too young to know what DNA is. Incidentally, on the same day this piece of news was reported, a crude bomb was uncovered in Delhi near the home of one of the suspects who brutally gang-raped a woman on a bus. For all we know Aditya (also from New Delhi according to FB) may have already been a amateur bomb-maker back home when other boys are spinning  tops or playing jump rope with the girls. Kids.

In 2010, another student posted his pyromaniac fantasy of ‘bombing all the top schools in Singapore’.  ‘John’ also made a public request to ‘learn terroism’. Totally unacceptable. Everyone knows that the first rule of being a terrorist is being able to SPELL terrorism correctly.

Other kids just wish for Playstations, dude.

That same year, another teen posted a checklist of things that he ‘wants’ to do, like being a hired killer and bombing a secondary school and police station. Whatever happened to cooler stuff like hacking into government websites or getting a motorcycle licence? Both boys got arrested for their posts for merely ‘wishing’ to carry out violent activities, not to mention plot big, big revenge like Aditya here. Maybe these guys are all friends on FB, with their own page called ‘We Da Bomb!’ or something. Such bloody fantasies of annihilating everything in their path is not restricted to little menaces to society though; In 2011, an upset job candidate threatened to bomb Parliament, the police force and a prison, earning himself 9 months in the slammer. He didn’t even have the balls of a 13 year old to make the threat under his own name.

People do secretly want to inflict dramatic violence on others or public property occasionally, but where do the police draw the line? Would you get charged only if you mention the specific word ‘bomb’? What if instead of ‘planting bombs’ all over MBS, I mention something physically impossible like say, summon a series of lightning strikes to rip the Skypark off the top of MBS like Zeus, or cast an infernal zombie curse on its inhabitants? How do the authorities distinguish between a legitimate security threat and the black magic ravings of a lunatic? What if Aditya had said: ‘GONNA STEAL A RIFLE FROM ARMY CAMP AND SHOOT EVERYONE IN ORCHARD ROAD’? How serious should one view such a threat? Is the SAF going to ever sound the alarm and deploy troops to barricade every single armory in Singapore to prevent a 13 year old from going on a shooting spree? What is he, Magneto Jr?

 

Filed under: 2011, 2013, Casino/gambling, Foul language, Kids, Police officers, Public works, Violence | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Police report filed against Diaoyu Dao cafe

Posted on December 25, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Agencies to probe cafe over name’, 25 Dec 2012, article by Melissa Lin, ST

BARELY two months after opening for business, a cafe at Peace Centre – called Diao Yu Dao – has come to the attention of at least three agencies for its name linked to islands whose ownership is disputed by Japan and China. The agencies are the Advertising Standards Authority of Singapore (Asas), the Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority (Acra) and the police.

…The Sophia Road cafe, with an adjoining bakery, opened in October and sells Hong Kong fare like bolo bun and roasted meat. On the shop’s signboard are the words Diao Yu Dao, accompanied by a picture of the islands…The eatery’s walls are adorned with over 30 framed graphics, maps and photographs related to the islands, as well as information about the islands’ history and the dispute over their ownership.

The cafe owners are believed to be a couple, both Chinese Singaporeans. They could not be reached for comment.

Dr Tan Sze Wee, chairman of Asas, which regulates signboards and advertisements, said it will be investigating the cafe for possible infringement of the Singapore Code of Advertising Practice.

A clause in the code states: “Advertisements should not adopt or encourage a confrontational approach to resolving societal conflicts or differences. Advertisements should not exploit or fuel conflicts relating to national problems and controversial policies or issues.”

…The police said a report had been lodged and they are “looking into the matter”. It is understood the issue is related to the cafe’s name. An Acra spokesman said the cafe was registered under the name Onion Restaurant and Bar Pte Ltd.

Fishing for trouble

In a Nov MyPaper article, Diaoyu Dao cafe reportedly displayed a signboard bearing the words ‘Protect Diaoyu Dao’ (see image above), which is the kind of protest publicity that would rile both the authorities and Senkaku sympathisers. You can also find such call to arms on banners adorning vessels sailing around the disputed islands.

Naturally, someone thought this matter was serious enough to have the police come check it out, in case the eatery is really a front for an island-defending ultranationalist rebel Resistance and that its PRC chefs would one day decide to hold demonstrations on top of Peace Centre like their fellow countrymen staging illegal ‘crane-ins’. You know, like in Allo Allo.

The brainchild and boss behind Diaoyu is supposedly a ‘Chinese Singaporean’ in his 60′s according to cafe manager Jeffrey Ng, someone who could either be a Chinese patriot turned Singaporean or a Singaporean-born Chinese chauvinist. Or he could be a Darwin-reading naturalist raising funds to protect the ecological and geological diversity of the islands. It certainly doesn’t seem like a shop that specialises in seafood contrary to what most Singaporeans who haven’t heard of the islands dispute would imagine. Instead, you have dishes like roast duck rice served with LETTUCE. If you’re being enticed by a wall display of ocean panoramas and desolate islands, you’d be expecting fresh oyster hors d’ouevres, not bolo baos.

Naming a diner after a ‘fishing island’ when it sells duck and char siew is like calling an all-you-can-eat carnivorous grilled meats spread ‘The Meadow’ – it’s just misleading advertising. Choosing a ‘theme’ that reeks of insensitive propaganda brings to mind another unfortunate bar named after a WWII holocaust camp. Public display of politically charged banners and other peoples’ national flags are a no-no of course, though that hasn’t stopped people from putting up China flags outside HDB flats.

Funny how a name like Diaoyu Dao would get us all worked up and the police involved, when no one is complaining about another pub that calls itself Coq and Balls. I bet it’s not a place to go if you’re craving for roast chicken. If you’re going there expecting Magic Mike or some hot gay action, prepare to be disappointed. You may still try your luck during their Xmas bash tonight, though. It’s called Ra-Pa-Bum-Bum.

The balls of this Gastropub!

Filed under: 2012, Advertisements, Local food, Names, Nightspots, Police officers, PRCs | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Vulgar RI teacher reported to Police and 2 Ministers

Posted on December 8, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘RI takes action against teacher’, 8 Dec 2012, article by May Chen, ST

RAFFLES Institution (RI) is taking disciplinary action against one of its teachers, Mr Adrian Chng, for using inappropriate language – even though he did not do so in his capacity as an RI teacher. The Straits Times reported on Thursday that Chew Jee Yang, 17, a Singapore Polytechnic student and member of the national youth softball team, had filed a police report against Mr Chng, the team manager, for his use of expletives in a WhatsApp group chat with three co-captains of the squad. Wang Zheng Rong, 18, also took issue with Mr Chng’s choice of words, although Chin Ken Min, 19, distanced himself from the complaints.

…Mr Chng, RI’s assistant head of the physical education and co-curricular activities department, is also the secretary-general of the Singapore Baseball and Softball Association. Mr Chng and the three players had been discussing preparations for an overseas tournament in Argentina last month in the WhatsApp conversation, which took place in September. In it, he used expletives such as “f***” no fewer than four times.

A complaint against Mr Chng was also later e-mailed to several parties – including Education Minister Heng Swee Keat and Acting Minister for Culture, Community and Youth Lawrence Wong – by Chew and Wang’s mothers.

…AN EXCERPT of one of the exchanges Mr Chng had with his student-athletes.

The conversation was in response to the teacher, who was functioning as a team manager, chasing the boys for jersey and slacks sizes ahead of an overseas trip. He had lamented that time was “tight”.

  • Zheng Rong: Frankly speaking time can’t be tight time runs at a constant speed! HAHAH!
  • Teammate: Lol
  • Adrian Chng: U better make sure ur a** super tight if not de bat I’m gonna stuff in there is gonna fall out

Maybe it’s not Adrian Chng’s profanity that the MOTHERS of these teenagers are worried about, but that he could be a dangerous bat-wielding sodomiser who preys on innocent virgin boys. This is how the accused looks like according to the SBSA (Singapore Baseball and Softball Association) website. You can’t deny the respectability of a suit and tie.

By now, getting the police involved in teacher-student spats isn’t surprising anymore. It has been done for teachers who’re too stern, or those who ruin expensive haircuts before important examinations. What’s disturbing is these budding athletes have their mummies complaining to MINISTERS for abusive, sexually charged, language. When Chew and Wang enlist into the army, is Mummy going to complain to Ng Eng Hen for homophobic verbal abuse by drill sergeants as well? Or feedback to SAF that no one tucks them in to sleep at night?

Perhaps Chng as team manager was doing a favour and prepping the boys for a hard NS life, where threats of sodomy with random objects are used in place of ‘Good Morning Recruits!’. Or he was just doing what most sports team managers would do to discipline their charges, regardless of whether their day job was teaching in a prestigious school or preaching from a pulpit. I thought we’ve come to accept that angry, ‘macho’ profanity in the management of competitive sport is all part of team camaraderie, whether it’s boys’ softball, men’s rugby or in a bikini beach volleyball World Cup tournament. The only sports coach who doesn’t need to resort to potty-mouthing is the one in charge of seniors’ Gateball.

What is known is that Chng is apparently doing a good job with RI softball. Earlier this year, the RI team beat Hwa Chong for their fifth national school’s title in 6 years. God knows if a fiery personality and foul language were part of his coaching methodology, but it seems to work for RI. It was just unfortunate that Chng’s obscenities were documented in Whatsapp group chat this time round. If every testosterone-charged team coach or manager was caught F-bombing or mentally ass-raping his squad and summoned by the police or ministers because of distraught parents, what hope is there for youth sports in this country? What if Chng wasn’t from RI but from a ‘neighbourhood school’ instead? Would the boys and their mothers let him off then? Maybe these boys and their parents have been watching too much of Disney’s Angels in the Outfield.

Even if Chng were indeed using foul language on a student in the capacity of an educator, is a police report even necessary? In 2008, a CCA teacher reportedly cursed and sweared at his ex-student for not greeting him properly.  Private tutors have been known to lash out at hopeless students on Facebook.  But in most cases it’s often the teacher at the receiving end of a student’s fury. In a reversal of the case above, a distressed teacher called the police to report a Hokkien-vulgarity spewing pupil in 2008. Another RJC teacher had to respond to a vulgar Facebook post online about not being able to ‘fxxxing control the class’. Many petty obscenities hurled at unpopular teachers are often ignored, because students heaping scorn on a teacher is expected – it even bonds them with fellow students – but not the other way round, even if such ‘motivational’ expletives are the secret to a softball team’s success.

Without a full picture of the relationship between Chng and his boys, one can’t tell if he was indeed abusing his authority or was just being his normal foul-mouthed self and was marked for some unknown reason. I’m guessing that it’s his ties with an elite school which may have inflamed any misgivings between the parties involved. In the meantime, if you’re in the business of playing a sport that uses anything with a handle, be it a softball bat or a croquet mallet, making nerdy jokes to your coach about ‘time-tightness’ may not be the smartest thing to do. If you’re a teacher suffering from Tourette’s syndrome, delete Whatsapp off your phone with immediate effect.

Filed under: 2012, Foul language, Kids, Parenting, Police officers, Politicians, Teachers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

Daniel Ong calling neighbour Sivalin-ganam style

Posted on October 26, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘He made fun of my name’, 26 Oct 2012, article by Foo Jie Ying, TNP

A dispute between neighbours over renovation noise led to one of them making a police report against the other, claiming that the latter had made fun of his name. In the report made on Oct 16, he said: “By making fun and changing my family surname, he is insulting and degrading the Indian culture.”

In an interview with The New Paper On Tuesday evening, Mr Sivalingam Narayanasamy, 55, said: “What he has done is to change my surname.” The other party in the dispute is former radio deejay Daniel Ong, 36, who is now known as a celebrity cupcake-shop owner with his wife, Miss Singapore-Universe 2001 Jaime Teo.

Mr Sivalingam showed TNP a letter purportedly written by Mr Ong to him, in which Mr Ong allegedly made fun of his name. In the letter, Mr Ong referred to Mr Sivalingam as “Sivalin-ganamstyle” and added, “That’s my new nickname for you… cool, huh?”

Mr Ong addressed this on his Facebook page, saying: “He claims I insulted him coz I addressed him as Sivalingam num-style in my last letter… but I told him that I didn’t mean that and it’s the coolest thing around now.”

If you read the contents of Daniel Ong’s letter for yourself, you’ll find it full of sarcastic insults, spite, fake LOLS and general meanness. From the way how this neighbourly spat has been overblown, it’s obvious that Sivalingam’s racist accusation is a pretext for filing against Ong’s nastiness and intolerance over a baby-tormenting and ‘old-lady murdering’ renovation project. As with his grudge against SPH, the ex-DJ has made his Facebook page his personal diary and broadcaster now that he’s gone from radio. Regardless of who’s at fault here,  this is really an exaggerated episode of neighbours thrashing it out over one ugly incident after another, culminating in a sensational turf war with a typical but ultimately futile standoff involving the police. I wonder what will become of these two once it’s Christmas.

It’s like two boys fighting in the playground and one threatening with his daddy because the other called him names and he had no comeback. The natural tendency in such testosterone-charged scuffles is for the one picked on to retort with a creative insult of his own, until both get tired of this one-upping nonsense and walk away. At least these two grown ups are civil enough not to bring their Mamas into it or roll around in the mud throwing punches. Conflicts of this sort are inevitable, no matter how we try to inculcate a ‘give and take’ culture, when in fact we’re mostly looking after our own interests and ‘community’ means running into that comfort zone and pacifier called Facebook where your ‘friends’ are obliged to support you all the way even if you’re acting like a child who just got his rattle nicked by a bully.

When it comes to a war of words, it’s unlikely that Sivalingam would get the upper hand over a cupcake king with the gift of the gab (Daniel even refers to himself as ‘FUNNY GUY” on his Twitter page), hence to counter his weakness in petty insult-trading, the big guns have to be summoned on a hot-potato issue (racism) just to show that he means business. I’m not even sure if this guy knows what Gangnam Style is, which may explain why he would consider the name-mashing a childish insult, maybe the equivalent of the Chinese ‘Tan Ah Kow’.  He does cut an imposing figure however, like a superintendent in the force, or someone who runs a butchery franchise and boxes hunks of meat in his spare time.  Daniel Ong (who once played ‘Mr Kiasee’ in the Mr Kiasu sitcom) will get his cupcakes SQUASHED if put in a ring with this bull of a man.

Don’t call him Gangnam

What’s worrying, and yet strangely assuring at the same time, is why our police EVEN BOTHER with such things (Assuring because it means our cops have nothing much to do). Well I suppose if they’re forced to investigate teachers who cut the hair of students without permission, this fight between an angry celebrity and his angry neighbour must seem as exciting as taking down rival triads in comparison. Gangs of Mei Hwan Drive perhaps. Still, this is what happens if you have public endorsement of the over-the-top censuring of anything mocking a minority race. You give people excuses to point fingers at the one thing that will get your enemies in trouble, when you’re really pissed off with them because they embarrassed you, not because they humiliated your race, your family, your ancestry and your gods.

Siva claims discrimination when Daniel Ong mashes up his surname with Gangnam style, while the latter explains the pun away as a reference to his ‘threatening’ stance with arms akimbo. Neither argument makes sense. I can’t imagine an aggressor doing this in a mano-a-mano confrontation, unless he’s trying to subdue you with laughter.

Please don’t hurt me. I’ll do anything

I suspect it’s harmless wordplay more than anything else, though these days dropping sly racial references is like tossing firecrackers on a minefield. Siva doesn’t have a case because Gangnam itself has already taken Indians by storm, and just about anyone with an Internet connection and doesn’t understand a single word of Korean.

Filed under: 2012, Bloggers, Local radio DJs, Noise, Police officers, Racism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Teachers have no business cutting students’ hair

Posted on August 23, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Teacher cuts pupil’s hair, mum files police report’, 23 Aug 2012, article by Lua Jia Min, ST

A MOTHER has lodged a police report after her 12-year-old son’s teacher cut his hair an hour before his PSLE oral exam last Thursday. The mother, Madam Serene Ong, is outraged that the teacher did this just before a crucial exam, that it was done without her knowledge – and that it ruined the boy’s $60 haircut.

She claimed the teacher – Ms Belinda Cheng of Unity Primary – also threatened to deduct marks from the boy’s exam if he refused to have his hair cut. Yesterday, the school’s principal, Mrs Jasmail Singh Gill, agreed with Madam Ong that the teacher had no business cutting the boy’s hair.

But, she said, Primary 6 pupils had been warned before about sporting long hair, and Ms Cheng had the right intentions. “The teacher cut the boys’ hair as she wanted them to look neat,” said Mrs Gill.

…Madam Ong, 39, a sales manager, said she received a call from her son Ryan Ang at about 10am on the day of the exam. His oral exam was at 11am. He was crying and told her that Ms Cheng, who is one of his form teachers, had cut his fringe and sideburns. He and the two other boys had been pulled up during a spot check for long hair.

“The teacher had no right to cut his hair,” said Madam Ong. “She showed me no respect by not telling me that she was going to cut his hair beforehand,” she said. “Worse, she threatened to deduct his oral marks if he didn’t agree to let her cut his hair. It was an hour before his PSLE oral exam. What if it had affected his performance?”

She said she was so upset she made a police report and complained to the Ministry of Education that night. She said Ryan did not dare to step out of the house for two days “because he thought he looked funny“.

Ms Cheng, she added, had also wasted the $60 she had spent on Ryan’s hair just five days before the incident. He has been going to a hairstylist at Reds Hairdressing for several years. Madam Ong spent another $60 getting his hair restyled on Saturday.

…”Doing this is like going back hundreds of years,” said Dr Foo Suan Fong, principal of Dunman High. His students are given a warning and a deadline to get their hair cut. If they do not do so, the school will contact their parents, whom it regards as “our education partners”.

Earlier this year, the police were hauled in to investigate a case of verbal abuse when a teacher told a student that he ‘didn’t want to see her face’. In the case of a vainpot Ryan who spent the equivalent of my entire year’s haircut budget ($120) at Red’s, my concern is not so much whether his teacher went overboard or if his mum overreacted (parents always do these days), but how his reaction to the ordeal of a teacher manhandling his funky mop speaks for kids of his generation, kids whose parents resist till this day from calling them ‘BABY’, though ‘babies’ are exactly what they behave like.

What bugs me is that he’s TWELVE, CRIED and LOCKED himself at home for DAYS as if it weren’t a few snips of a scissors but a crude lopping and scalping with pruning shears. Ever heard of a CAP, boy? God, it’s like the apocalypse just befell us all. I mean, just look at his pose. Look at it. I don’t blame the teacher for having the urge to run his head through with a motorised grass-cutter.

The police didn’t notice that in some countries this is an obscene gesture

And then take a look at this. Both images make you want to hurt someone real bad.

Cuteness in Spades

Having teachers multitasking as hairdressers is not a ‘hundred year old’ practice as one principal claimed. Hair-snipping as a last-resort punishment has been meted out as late as the early eighties, when long hair was a bane of society, associated with delinquency, truancy and Satanic rock music. Sometimes, even the vice-principals joined in the sadistic fun of seeing girls weep when their fringes are chopped off. In fact, it was only early this year that a similar case of police reporting occurred when a SEC TWO boy went home crying to mommy that the school’s stand-in hairdresser did a cut so patchy it looked like he singed his head over a BBQ fire. Hey, at least you didn’t get EXPELLED for unruly hair, eh? On the bright side, if you’re a kiasu parent volunteer balloting for Primary 1 next year and happen to be a PROFESSIONAL hairdresser, you have a high chance of landing your kid a spot, if only to prevent other kids from calling the police on teachers whose only crime is giving kids haircuts so awful they can’t face the world bearing them. How on earth are they going to post flirty pics of themselves on Facebook with such embarrassingly crappy hairdos?

Oh I know it’s blase to lament about how spoilt modern children have become, living a high-strung life of mollycoddling privilege with a sense of entitlement, cam-whoring narcissism and inflated self-esteem, brought up like little dainty princes and princesses with maids at their beck and call to carry schoolbags for them. Still, it’s totally unwise and unnecessary in my opinion that the police be involved in this matter even if the teacher got a touch too physical and intimidating at the worst possible time. Ryan wasn’t groped on the buttocks or hung upside down for days without food as punishment.  If the police call-operators had any sense of proportion, such petty calls should have been directed to the kind folks at IMH, who specialise in managing not only pediatric mental disorders like body (or hair) dysmorphic depressive disorder but anxiety management for the parents as well. Maybe they have special packages for such parent-son treatments, buy one sedative get 1 anti-depressant free.

Well all the best for your PSLE, Ryan. I’m sure you’ll do fine, this after all not being a test of your MANHOOD.

Filed under: 2012, Kids, Parenting, Police officers, Teachers | Tagged: , , , , , , | 16 Comments »

$2,200 Brompton bikes value for money

Posted on July 7, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Seeking clarity over $2200 bike purchase’, ST Forum, 8 July 2012

(Tan Buck Yam): AS A taxpayer for the past 34 years and an avid cyclist, I find it hard to comprehend how the National Parks Board’s (NParks) bulk bicycle purchase was value for money (‘Khaw okay with NParks’ purchase of $2,200 bikes’; Thursday).

I agree that NParks officers need bicycles for their field duties, which are demanding. However, to acquire foldable bicycles at $2,200 each may not reflect well on the Government’s call for prudence and austerity. I own four bicycles – a hybrid costing $420, two mountain bikes at about $200 each and a foldable 20-inch bicycle at $98. All were purchased from Carrefour supermarket.

…What were these requirements that resulted in Brompton bicycles being the cheapest and most prudent purchase? What was the process of scrutiny by senior management? Perhaps the public could be shown a comparison of a similar purchase by the police, who recently acquired bicycles for their officers to patrol neighbourhoods. What was the cost of these bicycles?

I hardly see the police on bicycles, but I doubt they would pedal more than 40km a day, at least according to NParks in their justification for luxury biking. Taking the quality of a Brompton at face value, you can purchase more than 20 Carrefour bikes as spares for the same price. According to Khaw Boon Wan, who thinks paying spending more than $50K on 26 bicycles is a good deal:

…It offers us maximum operational flexibility in terms of usage and deployment. It enables our staff to get to the field sites directly and individually rather than needing an office van to transport them and their bikes to the various sites. This is a significant factor in raising productivity all round – manpower, time, vehicle

This coming from someone who paid $8 upfront for a bypass. Khaw went on to clarify that the only reason why the Brompton was picked was that only one vendor responded to the Gebiz tender, and that it was bought at a discounted rate. Which is pretty much the typical Singaporean response to expensive stuff at a sale, buying things you don’t really need but providing self-justification that you made a wise decision on hindsight. In March last year, our National Development Minister also sang praises of Herman Miller chairs, which MOM purchased at $575 a pop, supposedly a ‘steal’. A total of 475 of such ergonomic branded chairs were bought then, and it remains to be seen how a comfortable butt and SPOILING staff has improved civil servants’ productivity. An orthopedic surgeon remarked that ‘you don’t need an expensive chair to prevent back problems’. Ironically, if your chair is TOO comfortable, you may be spared from neck, shoulder and back pains, but subject yourself to a higher risk of cardiac mortality for prolonged sitting down.

I think the same applies to NParks officers, doing whatever they do on their rounds. You don’t need an expensive ‘Bomb-ton’ bicycle to chase down wild boars. In fact, knowing that you’re sitting on a $2200 luxury good means you’re less likely to hurtle headlong into a forest to perform your huntsman duties in fear of damaging standard issue equipment and writing statements.  Interestingly, I also stumbled upon this Youtube UOB ad and 8 days feature while trying to find out how much a Brompton is selling here (according to a forum fan, you can get it for less than 2K for some models). These feature sometime eco-warrior Howard Shaw, recently charged for sex with an underaged prostitute, riding a BROMPTON. Second thoughts, NParks?

Note how UOB uses the slogan ‘The Sustainable Energy of Howard Shaw’. I think we all know what ‘energy’ they’re referring to now. 8 days also once labelled Shaw as our generation’s CAPTAIN PLANET, which explains his affinity for kids then.

Howard Shaw, Singapore’s Captain Planet, rides a Brompton.

Filed under: 2011, 2012, Cyclists, Money, Police officers, Politicians | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Police commissioner distancing himself from Esther Goh

Posted on June 16, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From Police Commissioner distances himself from ex-NCS director Esther Goh, 15 June 2012, article by Leonard Lim, ST

Commissioner of Police Ng Joo Hee is not acquainted with Ms Esther Goh, one of the women who allegedly had sex with former Singapore Civil Defence Force chief Peter Lim Sin Pang in an ongoing corruption court case, the police said on Friday.

The police, in a statement posted on their Facebook page on Friday, made several other points, amid a photo being circulated online of Mr Ng presenting a token of appreciation to Ms Goh, who was previously a director of business development at NCS.

The statement said that Mr Ng ‘deeply regrets that the photograph has been misused by irresponsible persons online as a basis for making vulgarities, inanities and all manner of mischievous innuendos.’ It said that the photo was taken on Oct 12, 2011, during a police charity concert held to benefit the Community Chest.

…The police added that they hope this ‘unfortunate’ turn of events would not dampen support for their annual fund raising charity efforts.

Signed off by Assistant Director Media Relations Ho Yenn Dar, the lengthy disclaimer on the SPF Facebook post also includes the cheesy line ‘Beneath the policeman’s gravitas beats a heart of gold‘,which is like putting too much icing on a very sweet cake. Hosting charity events is just one reason why our police would need a crowd-pleasing Facebook page in the first place. We even had a TV series named ‘HEARTlanders’ in honour of the force, to show audiences that despite their hard exterior and weapons, they are really softies inside. But too much kindness gets in the way of a cop’s work of dispensing hard justice, and all this sentimental emasculating of our boys in blue  through the schmaltzy reach of Facebook may lead many into taking their tough-as-nails peacekeeping role for granted and hence posting rubbish in response to an otherwise harmless photo. If the history of cop characters in action movies has taught us anything,  it’s not the ‘good’ cop who escorts an old lady across the street, but the ‘rogue’, unorthodox cop with an actual personality who bags the supervillians. The only by-the-book cop who ever had movie sequels was ROBOCOP. Every other character synonymous with the movie-cop were either foul-mouthed (Beverly Hills Cop), badass (Dirty Harry, Die Hard) or total pranksters (Rush Hour), and they all broke the rules, the ‘right’ rules at least.

The SPF Facebook page appears to be nothing more than an electronic version of an bulletin board with  ‘Wanted’ posters. It also features C.L.I.F actors in uniform, snippets of the unwatchable Crime Watch and terrible public service slogans like ‘Don’t Get Rubbed’, which should apply to high ranking civil servants as well. I wouldn’t go into the Police Facebook page to view their dinner and dance photos. I want to see celebrity mugshots and REAL videos of policemen catching crooks, not clumsy reenactments.

Police ad rubs women the wrong way

One indication that Facebookers have ceased to take policework seriously was the response to a Photofit image of a suspect who attacked an old woman, with some netizens complaining that the facial composite looked like an ‘alien’, a ‘Mr Giraffe’, and ‘China Ah Beng’. I’ve been more human faces in an Xbox video game. This one looks like the artist only did one half and then mirrored it to give an eeriely symmetrical look. You can even see the line of symmetry running down his face. No laughing matter if you’re a victim of this guy’s assault or rape though.

Physically impossible cap

Nobody’s going to accuse Ng Joo Hee of corruption just because he’s caught smiling on camera and shaking a hand that has slithered its way around a certain SCDF chief’s intimate zones. In fact, no one other than the CPIB accuses policemen of corruption, period. It’s reasonable to state for the record that you have no business dealings with Esther Goh, but to ‘distance’ oneself away from her like a harlot with herpes is overdoing it, perhaps even unfair since we have no details on how the tender tango with Peter Lim came about. Even if this woman were an acquaintance of yours, there’s no reason to sever relations over a scandal like one refusing to be associated with Xiaxue or Steven Lim if your conscience is crystal clear as a Police Commissioner’s conscience is supposed to be. Most people wouldn’t have noticed Ng when the photo was first leaked, which was clearly intended to expose Esther Goh, not him. Now if you want to know how the rest of the IT vendors look like, you’d just have to wait for some high ranking official to come out and DENY EVERYTHING as a preemptive strike against any disrespectful finger pointing.

An ex Prisons chief, Ng Joo Hee was described in a New Paper headline in a 2008 article as ‘IRONMAN, SUPERCOP ‘, a family man with humble beginnings who sports a ‘creaseless’ uniform, runs gruelling triathlons, and has a collection of 10,000 BOOKS. It’s no wonder he has to defend his spotless reputation here, after the media bloated it to such absurd mythical superhero proportions, his whistle as clean as a biohazard containment facility, his appetite for books as voracious as Sherlock Holmes’ taste for pipes, his powers of endurance suggesting that he could have hunted Mas Selamat down solo even if the fugitive had a headstart midway across the Straits of Johor.

It also seems like the media has dropped Ng Joo Hee’s English name in order to avoid confusion with the other uniform-wearing, scandal-laden chief. That’s right,  he’s also called PETER.

Filed under: 2012, Police officers, Sex | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

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