Water Wally peeping at boy in the shower

Posted on May 22, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘PUB music video draws flak online’, 22 May 2013, article by Nigel Chen, My Paper

…Water Wally, the national water agency PUB’s water-droplet mascot, has been drawing mixed reactions for a music video which was posted online on April 15. The video, Water Wally Shower Dance, which was uploaded on PUB’s website and YouTube, features the mascot in a rap ditty, reminding children and adults to keep showers to under five minutes.

…PUB said that, by the end of the year, pupils in 185 primary schools would have learnt how to do the Shower Dance as part of its “Time to Save” programme. So far, pupils in 28 primary schools have been taught the dance….However, the video has drawn some flak online, with 186 dislikes on YouTube, compared to just 50 likes, as of 7.40pm yesterday.

…Ms Candy Kang, creative director of advertising agency Available, said: “The comedic nature of the dance, coupled with the exaggerated movements, detracts one’s attention from the original message of the video.” She also pointed out that a particular scene where Water Wally walks in on a boy showering in a bathroom is “inappropriate”.

Ms Kang added: “It shows someone (Water Wally) intruding on a boy’s privacy while he showers, which could also be seen as an outrage of modesty.”

Screen Shot 2013-05-22 at 8

Water Wally has a habit of barging into toilets. In the ‘Adventures of Water Wally’ cartoon, the perky little droplet charged into a forest latrine to turn off running showers and taps in the episode ‘Camp H20′. Although he has been accused of being a creepy paedophile or a serial murderer inspired by Psycho in this PUB video, Wally is portrayed as a heroic little squirt in the animated series who lives in an alternative universe where entering uninvited into showers to remind people not to waste water is the neighbourly, considerate thing to do.

In fact, Wally’s wide-eyed intrusion may be exactly the reason for the video’s success; by scaring little children into not bathing at all. I, for one, would hesitate to take a shit now without making sure the door is locked, though I would also be wary of Wally magically leaping out of the toilet bowl when I flush and dragging me into a raging vortex of my own piss and excrement. I didn’t think Wally needed to even handle a door knob. He could have transformed into a little puddle, seep beneath and door and watch you bathe all he wants before casting a charm that makes you para-para non-stop.

The ‘Shower Dance’ itself, if you ignore the terrible Black Eyed Peas influenced rap, is a mash-up of various genres of the art form spanning decades of pop culture. Allow me to break the moves down to argue why the Shower Dance has nothing to do with showers or contagious epilepsy at all.

The Hippy Hippy Shake

The Hippy Hippy Shake

The Robot

The Robot

Gwiyomi/Para Para

Gwiyomi/Para Para

Zombie Walk

Zombie Walk

I tried doing the first sequence of the Shower Dance while bathing myself and all it did was get the entire bathroom wet, not my naked body. With all that outburst of energy splashing around it’s not easy to ‘keep it to 5′. It also doesn’t emphasise on scrubbing behind the ears, under your armpits or between your toes. It’s probably more efficient to bathe with a scoop and pail, or use targetted wetting by directing the showerhead at dirty areas, but how can anyone boogie while holding some damn thing in your hand?

To help us keep track of our shower times, PUB distributed waterproof timers last year to stick on our walls. It’s probably a miracle device for people with OCD, but I want to get out of my bath after a long day REFRESHED, not feeling like I’m being buzzed out of bed for work. Rushing people into taking quick baths aside, we should also discourage couples from having prolonged sex in the shower and jilted teens from sitting in there crying all night with the water trickling down their sad faces like what they do in Mediacorp dramas.

Good try, Wally and PUB, but this shower dance thing is a total wash-out.

About these ads

Filed under: 2013, Campaigns/Elections, Cartoons, Environment, Kids, Local music/bands, Public works, Sex | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Locksmiths and real estate agents sticking ads all over the place

Posted on May 12, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘ Illegal ads a sticking point for HDB residents’, 12 May 2013, article by Lim Yan Yang and Lim Yi Han, Sunday Times

Now that Singapore’s “Sticker Lady” has been sentenced in court for mischief, some Housing Board residents are wondering if they will see the end of a sticky problem they have been living with for years. They say locksmiths, real estate agents and providers of all sorts of services paste small advertisements and labels all over the place, and seem to get away with it.

Tampines resident Francis Cheng contacted The Sunday Times and said he has put up with ads and calling cards that have been stuck to his meter box, doorbell, gate and on the railings along the common corridor. “It’s a nuisance. I peel it off and a few days later they paste it back,” said the 40-year-old business manager. Competing businessmen sometimes leave layers of overlapping stickers that are just unsightly, he added.

…The police website refers the public with such “non-police matters” to relevant agencies such as town councils and the LTA….Technically, the law has penalties for unauthorised advertisements, under the Vandalism Act and the Miscellaneous Offences (Public Order and Nuisance) Act.

But lawyers said the courts are unlikely to act against businesses that do not adhere to the rules unless home owners pursue the matters themselves by lodging a magistrate’s complaint. “Some might argue that it’s a slippery slope: if you don’t arrest them, they will paste more stickers,” said criminal lawyer Amolat Singh. “But the courts operate under the de minimis principle, which means the law does not concern itself with trivialities.”

He said the law must strike a balance between the fact that advertisements promote a commercial service – unlike in the Sticker Lady case – and that most people do not view them as mischief or vandalism.

Most of the locksmiths, plumbers and air-conditioning repairmen The Sunday Times called declined to talk about their ads but one argued that his sticker has helped many people. The 40-year-old locksmith, who declined to be named, said: “Those who complain are those who haven’t had their door spoilt or forgotten their keys.”

Your grandfather meter box is it

I have to admit I once benefited from a vandal’s calling card stuck on a letter box. My door was jammed and I had no one to call. It was, for my intents and purposes, an emergency and I remain grateful enough to close one eye to rival locksmiths tearing each others’ stickers or sticking their ads on top of each other outside my house as long as it’s not on my gate. Property flyers on the other hand, are a downright nuisance, the only consolation being sometimes they come with eye candy amidst the eyesore, on which I’d waste a couple of seconds of my life ogling before tossing it away for recycling.

Need a house NOW

So we have one group of people running foul of Vandalism laws, another being annoying Litterbugs, with neither getting arrested for their deeds, while a graffiti artist with better aesthetic taste when it comes to stickers gets charged for mischief and has to serve 240 hours of community service. If Samantha Lo had inserted an additional line in her Press Until Shiok stickers advertising swimming lessons and a fake number, maybe the law would consider her actions ‘trivial’ as well.

I can’t say, however, that MOST people don’t mind such rampant defacement. Maybe some folks like myself do benefit from sticky ads, whether it’s breaking into their own house urgently or selling their homes at cushy prices. But I’m certain there are many who find it more disruptive and polluting than Sam Lo’s street work, so I question the lawyer’s assumption unless he had run a nationwide survey to ask Singaporeans what they think of sticker ads. There’s also a suggestion of exemption from penalty if your sticker is about a ‘commercial service’ rather than ‘art’. Which means there’s a chance you may be an illegal landlord, uncertified driving instructor or maybe even a prostitute sticking ads willy-nilly and not get caught. What if you’re spreading the gospel through stickers, like what happened in 1977 with a ‘I found it’ campaign? (‘It’ meaning ‘a life in Jesus Christ’). Would the authorities have hauled in a church leader for ‘mischief’ or use some fancy legal Latin term to convince us that he did no wrong?

It also begs the question of what exactly the law considers a ‘triviality’ which it doesn’t concern itself with. One man’s triviality is another’s outrage. If Sticker Lady had simply pasted ONE offending sticker in town, maybe less than 2 cm in radius, would it be ‘trivial’ enough to adhere to the ‘de minimis’ principle? One HDB owner’s complaint may be trivial, but if EVERY level on EVERY block of HDB flats reports a case of sticker vandalism, surely it becomes a PROBLEM, one that I forsee our authorities and courts will no doubt be STUCK on.

Filed under: 1970s, 2013, Advertisements, Environment, HDB, Justice system/Lawsuits, Public works, Religion | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Pulau Ubin villagers paying rent to SLA

Posted on April 13, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘No plans to evict Pulau Ubin residents’, 13 April 2013, article by Eugene Neubronner, Today online

Contrary to online speculation and some media reports, the authorities yesterday clarified that “there are no plans to evict the households currently residing on Pulau Ubin or develop an Adventure Park on the island”. Issuing a joint statement, the Ministry of National Development (MND) and the Singapore Land Authority (SLA) reiterated: “The planning intention is to keep Pulau Ubin in its rustic state for as long as possible as an outdoor playground for Singaporeans. Given this, there is no need for the residents to move out.”

The speculation started after some residents on the island received a notice signed off by an official with the Housing and Development Board’s (HDB) Land Clearance Section, which carried the header “Clearance scheme: Clearance of structures previously acquired for development of Adventure Park on Pulau Ubin”. The authorities clarified that on March 12, the HDB, acting on behalf of the SLA, informed the residents of a census survey in Pulau Ubin. They added that these households had been informed as far back as 1993 that they would be affected by a public development project, which included the development of a recreation park.

“To align with the rustic nature of Pulau Ubin and its planning intention, outdoor adventure elements were included in the recreation park, for example, trails for cycling and hiking, campsites and amenities like shelters and toilets,” the MND and the SLA said.

…The MND and the SLA said that the affected houses sit on what is now state land, and the households were now residing on state land without the required Temporary Occupation Licence (TOL). If they wish to stay on, they would need to obtain a TOL and pay rent — generally pegged at market rate — to the SLA.

If you want a taste of true ‘kampung’ spirit, look no further than Ubin, often cited as the ‘last bastion’ of rustic, indigenous wilderness. 10 years ago you could spot leopard cats, hornbills and wild boars and bask in the nostalgic Old-World smell of chicken droppings. Thrill-seeking lovers could elope there to set up campfires, cook meals in mess-tins and get lost in mangroves without being marauded by eco-tourists and moutain bikers. But perhaps not for much longer, based on the revelations of the White Paper, as we are already seeing the gradual transformation of what was once an idyllic stone quarry sanctuary into Sentosa in one of her pre-casino incarnations, a ‘fun-in-the-sun’ getaway for fans of outdoor adventure.

The selling point of Ubin has always been a ‘rustic CHARM’, a ‘throwback’ to old Singapore, but history tells us that our relentless march towards progress will somehow squeeze every last drop of its kampung soul dry. Today it may be a bike park or OBS school, tomorrow a luxury beachside villa, and you could still call Ubin ‘rustic’, ‘raw and untouched’, even when this ‘charm’ has been reduced to a puny saltwater pond in some rich man’s backyard and the only fishermen you see on the island are the ones charging you for prawning rod and bait at a spa resort, or giving urban folk a demo of how to toss a fishing net in the visitors’ centre. A far cry from Ubin’s strange, astounding natural and social history, one that boasts of temple devotees of Barbie dolls, straying elephants from Johor, sightings of dugongs, monitor lizards as well as the site of a 1920′s Chinese secret society ritual.

According to Infopedia, an ‘expressway road and a Mass Rapid Transit rail system linking the mainland’ was planned for after the year 2030. As it is, Ubin already boasts a couple of resorts, including the Celestial Resort owned by Marine Country Club which aims to ‘give glitzy Sentosa’ a run for the money, where Singaporeans and can go unwind, enjoy lush greenery, and frolic around in wild lallang for a staycation . A 100 year old kampong house has also been refurbished as a Lonely Planet endorsed Cookery Magic culinary school, where you can make Nasi Kerabu with ‘jungle herbs’. Plans for an adventure park comes as no surprise really; it’s just a sweatier theme park with no rides, air-conditioning or Wi-fi, and has been talked about for decades. In 1996, then Minister of National Development Lim Hng Kiang announced that HALF of Pulau Tekong would be turned into a ‘recreational’ centre. I remember drinking fresh coconut from a dishevelled hut along one of the bike trails some years back. On my next trip to the island there could very well be a Gong Cha outlet in place of it.

Although the government hasn’t forced their hand YET, the slow creep of modernisation and tourism overspilling onto Ubin because of our mainland exploding at its seams may drive residents away from the maddening crowd sooner or later, with or without the additional rental fee. In 1989, S Jayakumar said that Ubin residents were ‘not immune to the law’, and if they were, ‘drug addicts and other criminals’ would be headed for the island. Ironically, the island once housed political detainee Lee Tee Tong in 1980, as well as a boatload of Vietnamese refugees in 1978.

So urban dwellers, time to grab your tumblers, hiking boots and mess tins, relish the last remains of a kampung island, and let’s all sing Dayung Sampan, shall we?

Filed under: 1920s, 1970s, 1980s, 2000s, 2013, Bureaucrats, Environment, Fun and games, Tourists | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Grow up, Ugly Affluent Westernised Singaporeans

Posted on April 12, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Time for the Ugly Singaporean to grow up’, 9 April 2013, ST Forum

(Dr George Wong Seow Hoon): IN VIEW of the increasing incidents of abusive behaviour towards health-care workers…it is time to examine why economic progress has brought with it the emergence of the “Ugly Singaporean”. Part of the reason is that many of our children are now brought up by maids, and they lack the strong cultural milieu to cultivate codes of good conduct.

Once they grow up, they treat nurses the way they treat their maids – because they know of no other way. When I was growing up, I was immersed in the culture and traditions of my grandparents, who made me read San Zhi Jing (Three-Character Classic), which taught Confucian morality.

My uncles and aunts told me stories from the Chinese classics of great men and heroes with outstanding conduct. These have influenced my thinking and conduct in later life. Now, some affluent, Westernised Singaporeans throw litter, abuse nurses and are road bullies.

…It is time for Singaporeans to grow up.

It’s been a while since I’ve heard anyone espouse ‘Asian values’, which typically encompasses concepts of hard work, compassion, humility and filial piety, though such forms of social behaviour are certainly not unique to the Asian society. China, in particular, the birthplace of San Zhi Jing, is among the worst culprits of pollution and global warming in the world, and the inconsiderate act of littering and destroying the planet has nothing to do with the fact that you’re a Confucian scholar, a ‘Westernised’ tycoon, or a homeless bum who poops on the streets.

Blaming the West as the Devil was regular rhetoric for MPs. In 1971, Inche Ghazali urged men to ‘point out gently and tactfully how ridiculous’ their womenfolk look wearing ‘indecent’ fashions of the West. The appearance of ‘Centrepoint kids’ in the 80s prompted Tang Guan Seng to blame ‘decadent Western fads’ for the erosion of our G-rated, homely values. He was also strongly against the ‘Western’ practice of addressing parents by their names, dumping the aged in retirement homes, and probably thinks the ‘Western’ tie as office attire is like wearing Satan’s noose around your neck.

Some male chauvinist pigs also like their partners to be like Samsui women, subservient, meek and not complaining and nagging too much which is a result of being ‘contaminated’ by the decadent West. Thanks to ‘Western influences’, our women have become opinionated, assertive and don’t ever want to treat us guys to a hot home-cooked meal and foot scrub after work anymore. Besides, I’m not sure if ancient China was the ideal pinnacle of Confucian ethics and selfless, epic heroics as it’s lauded to be. At least that’s not what Sex and Zen tells me.

There’s nothing morally superior about ‘Asian values’ as it’s a fallacy to blame Western affluence for all our ‘social ills’, be it teen pregnancy, homosexuality, premarital sex, Playboy magazine or Glee. There are, in fact, downsides to exaggerating your Confucian values, like ‘presentee-ism’, the loss of productivity that results when you’re obliged to report for work even when you’re sick.  The complainant telling Singaporeans to ‘GROW UP’ reeks of the stifling authoritarian hectoring of the stern, party-pooping patriarch who shuns Gangnam Style, skimpy bikinis and shrinking hemlines because he thinks these have all the ‘decadent’ hallmarks of cult-like Western glamour and spiralling moral decay.

You don’t have to be rich and English-speaking to be a total bastard of a customer, nor do you need to mediate under a bamboo tree and be handy with a calligraphy brush to be a responsible, civilised human being, regardless of which side of the globe you’re from. So here’s an adorable clip of an ang mo kid reciting San Zhi Jing. To a ‘Western-influenced’ bloke like me, it’s as impressive, yet meaningless, as memorising pi to 100 decimal places.

Filed under: 1980s, 2013, Environment, Singaporean men, Singaporean women | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

PM Lee joking about pork soup

Posted on April 3, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Singapore PM draws laughs in US speech’ 3 April 2013, article by Matthew Peninngton, AP/Yahoo news

Singapore is well-known for its efficiency and order, but during a visit to Washington the city-state’s prime minister displayed a less advertised attribute — humor. In an after-dinner speech Tuesday to U.S. businessmen, Lee Hsien Loong made a couple of jokes that could pass for stand-up comedy.

He drew laughs — and some groans — with his quips, including one about China’s environmental problems.

“Beijing residents joke that to get a free smoke all they have to do is open their windows!” Lee said.

He then alluded to thousands of pig carcasses recently fished from Chinese rivers.

“(In) Shanghai, if you want some pork soup, you just turn on the tap,” he said.

His audience appeared doubtful if that was good taste, until he added, “That’s their joke, not mine!”

Ho, Ho

Our PM says the darnedest things. For years we have endured or been entertained by his light-hearted banter during National Day Rallies, when serious matters affecting the lives of Singaporeans are delivered with a dose of off-the-cuff, out-of-character humour. Dead pigs in the drinking water supply is no laughing matter of course, and it’s hard to believe the Chinese themselves would find it worthy of a chuckle, considering how their waters may be tainted with porcine circovirus. I suppose if the Chinese want to get back at PM Lee for taking potshots at the country’s air pollution and bak-kut teh in the water supply, there’s always Bedok Reservoir to make fun of.

China’s environmental woes have inspired comedy as much as their exported pandas inspire diplomacy. During the Olympics, celebrity talk show host David Letterman described the ‘air in China like the air inside Willie Nelson’s tour bus’. There’s a joke that you can ‘smell China’s GDP’ in the air. All this despite the astonishing statistic that more than 1 million die from pollution every year in China. There may be less casualties from drinking poisoned ‘pork soup’, but it’s hard to make any joke about environmental abuse without someone shifting nervously in his seat. Even in the spirit of April Fools’.

Here’s a sample of knee-slapping, rib-tickling gems from the man himself and how they rate in terms of LOLs.

On fertility (2012): “One Asian politician said why do you not have more blackouts? He has blackouts, he has high TFRs, does not mean I have blackouts, I will have high TFR.” Rating: LOLOL

Again, babies (2007): “I shall not discuss about the baby problem today. As Nike says, Just do it.” Rating: LOL

On ERP (2008): I have read a lot of the interesting things on the Internet.  Some are quite good.  I don’t have time to show you all of them but I’ll just show you one tonight.  This one says “Wah Piang Eh! the ERP has reached Pedra Branca”.  I sent this to Raymond Lim.  He says that’s his favourite one too. LOLOLOL

On getting Singaporeans to be less reliant on the government: “The government will try its best to solve problems big and small – whether it is a minister catching a cat or the Prime Minister saving the life of dog – but understand that some problems or disputes may not be best tackled by the Government.” Rating: lol

On social media (2011): Five years ago YouTube was insignificant, Facebook did not exist; all you had was mrbrown. Rating: LOL

A random joke on a BBC programme in 2003 (‘Top-level jokes’, Business Times, 28 Feb 2003) when he was DPM:

A drunk trying to cross the street was knocked down by a bus. A policeman helped him to his feet and said, “There’s a zebra crossing a few yards away from here.” “Well, I hope he is having better luck than I am,” replied the drunk. (Rating: LOL)

But of course the PM is funniest when the jokes are unintentional, especially when he talks about local food.

I suppose it’s OK for a politician to make a political joke at the expense of other superpowers, but poke fun at a PAP minister and you’ll be at the receiving end of a lawyers’ letter, i.e in hot (pork) soup.

Filed under: 2000s, 2012, Environment, Politicians | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Singapore is no country for 18 golf courses

Posted on February 3, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Which golf courses will get the chop?’ 3 Feb 2013, article by Royston Sim, Sunday Times and ‘Let’s debate land use for golf course’, 2 Feb 2013, Voices, Today

…In its Land Use Plan unveiled last week, the Government flagged golf courses as one area that could be consolidated to free up more land. The Ministry of Law said some of the 18 golf courses here would be phased out, and the land put to other uses. It did not specify which would be affected, saying only that it would be working with planning agencies over the next few months to “provide clarity” to various golf courses on whether their leases could be extended.

Golf courses here are a mix of public and private ones. They occupy a total of about 1,500ha – 2 per cent of Singapore’s total land area. Eleven clubs are private, with membership prices that range from $223,000 for the Singapore Island Country Club (SICC) to $5,000 for Changi Golf Club. These 11 clubs have about 30,000 members altogether, and most lease land on 30-year terms from government agencies including the PUB.

(Chng Koon Beng):…There should be a debate on the Land Use Plan for such a vast space of land, which is now only accessible to a fraction of our population. It is not only a question of which courses will be closed, which would lead to arguments over why others can have their lease renewed. Do we need private golf clubs at all?

Would it be fairer if all remaining clubs could be converted to public golf courses when these leases are renewed, so that everyone can enjoy this recreation, the lush greenery and fresh air?

The ‘club’ C in our ’5 Cs’ may very well refer to the golfing kind. This land-gobbling sport took up a total of  5-10 % of the total land area in the early eighties. We also assumed that the government knew how precious a resource land was – and still is – for a tiny pinprick of a nation like ours, but lacked the (wait for it) FORE-sight to manage them properly, otherwise we wouldn’t need a policy today to skim them down.

Some compared this devotion to golf to the analogy of setting aside land for a nudist colony - giving up a large area of secluded space just for a few privileged individuals. I myself have never stepped on the green nor handled a golf club, though I’ve always wanted to cruise around in a golf tram with a glass of champagne and act all hoity-toity. Now my dreams of living the high life are dashed, reduced to swinging imaginary clubs in front of the Xbox Kinect in my jammies. Thanks a lot, White Paper!

Even avid golfers questioned the need to allocate so much space to a sport that sells luxury watches and striped polo T’s, and were aware of the runaway profiteering that comes with the acquisition and transfer of exclusive golf memberships. And all I did as an NBA fan in my teens was trade Michael Jordan cards.  Expensive golf memberships are as prized an asset as property, with some investors holding on to multiple memberships, not ever having need to swing a club, or step onto the green, even once. It explains why the majority of golf course remain private, and why opening some up to the masses is like having vagrants crash your cocktail party to sip off your designer punchbowl. Asking the government to let go of these money-spinners is like turning the F1 into a Mario Go-Kart theme park. But I shudder at the thought of what the alternative could be. For such highly coveted land, I would imagine another high-end condo or a shopping megacomplex at least. You could use the existing ponds as a reason to make the name of your monolith sound as aquatic as possible. Or how about an aviation hub like the Aerospace PARK in Seletar and adding insult to injury by naming something a ‘park’ when it’s anything but. It’s like calling a landfill ‘Serenity Gardens’.

Even if enthusiasts claim that the sport has become more accessible over the years, one can see why clubs like SICC are unlikely to let go of their exclusive brand. Former NMP Jessie Phua and member of 3 clubs thinks golf courses have a role to play as ‘GREEN LUNGS‘, a last-ditch attempt to play the eco-card. Does anyone have any idea how much water is consumed to maintain these things? If all we had were golf courses to replenish our carbon dioxide we’d all be in respiratory distress. Instead of public golf courses, I’m more in favour of green untouched spaces, parks, prawning lagoons or playgrounds and courts which encourage team sports like basketball or football rather than one where people spend more time standing around amidst vast tracts of ‘lush greenery’ sealing deals and hobnobbing than hitting balls into holes, pretending that they’re the King of Versailles having a garden party. I would also rather see more land set aside for CRICKET than golf, safe in the knowledge that our foreign workers are entertaining themselves productively over the weekend instead of planning strikes or fooling around with maids.

In fact, I see little reason to promote golf as a recreational sport at all, knowing how hazardous it is, having to expose yourself to deadly lightning strikes or even knocking innocent bystanders out cold, for the price you pay to be a part of it. Let’s have artificial ponds, neighbourhood petting zoos and dog-runs by all means, create safe, social spaces to foster community spirit and active ageing rather than just staging them for royalty to see in Queenstown. For the golf aficionados with more club than credit cards, time to pack your golf bags and pursue your fairway dreams elsewhere like you can afford to, or you could mope around stroking your gear singing Tom Jones’ Green Green Grass of Home.

Filed under: 1980s, 2013, Environment, Public works, Sports | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Having a National Referendum for a 6.9 million population

Posted on January 31, 2013 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Hold referendum on population growth’, 31 Jan 2013, ST Forum

(Kelvin Quek): AS A born and bred Singaporean, it is my right to have a say in the size and composition of the population (“Population could hit 6.9m by 2030“; yesterday). Unlike measures like the certificate of entitlement, Electronic Road Pricing or goods and services tax, population policies have an impact that cannot be reversed in one or two generations.

It is all the more worrying since Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong himself recently admitted that the Government does not have 20/20 foresight and finds it difficult to predict economic changes, the property cycle, population trends and the number of homes needed (“PM throws light on what led to infrastructure strain”; Tuesday).

So let the citizens have a real say. Let us hold a national referendum to see if Singaporeans are supportive of having a population of six million by 2020 and 6.9 million by 2030. The referendum can be carefully crafted to present various choices to Singaporeans, including the scenario of very low economic growth or even economic stagnation if we cap the population at 5.5 million or six million. If more than two-thirds of Singaporeans are against having a population size as projected by the White Paper, then the Government should plan for an alternative scenario.

If a large majority agree with the White Paper’s conclusions, then at least we know that we share collective responsibility for the consequences.

The chance of a National Referendum happening to let Singaporeans vote for or against the 2030 population crunch is as likely as a tsunami sweeping us of our feet. The first (and maybe LAST) ever NR was in fact held before we even gained our Independence in 1962, when we had to decide what flag to use in our merger with Malaysia among other stuff like citizenship and language policies . This was like Polling Day, except that instead of ticking for a party, you voted for various scenarios. The people chose the Lee Kuan Yew-backed ‘Alternative A’, which granted Singapore control over labour and education, despite us having to convert our identities to become Malaysians. The decision to merge was already a done deal, and the whole referendum process appeared to be a cosmetic matter of going through the motions, or in commonspeak ‘wayang’. You could say the same thing about our National Conversation, which has probably expended the amount of Post-It pads equivalent to a stack of White Papers as tall as the Singapore Flyer.

The reason why the PAP is generally reluctant to hold such resource-intensive opinion polls is because asking Singaporeans if they would prefer to live in a state of 7 million people is a no-brainer. We were already upset when you were talking about 6 million people. It’s a stupid question to ask, yet the obvious answer is not one they want to hear, because they’d know better. So it’s likely that our government will trudge ahead, telling us how their  expert-endorsed, concise ‘Land Use Plan’ would achieve a SWEET SPOT.  If there were ever a poll on the matter it would be asking us if we’d like to turn Pulau Ubin from a nature spot to a hub of seaside executive condos or a ring of luxury hotels. It’s like a grubby sommelier asking if you’d prefer the red or white wine after already putting you on tab. I’m not sure if the people who sort our land resources out are actual population experts, or a bunch of nerds addicted to Simcity.

Why, in our 48 years of nation-building, have we stalled on referenda? According to Goh Chok Tong, he did not ‘believe’ in such things because referenda should only be held on ‘life and death’ issues, and not something like say the elected presidency for example. In 1987, when he rejected calls to vote for the ‘Team MP’ or now known as the GRC system, he said the consent of voters would only be needed if the proposed legislation brought about ‘fundamental changes’ to the Constitution and our Sovereignty as an independent nation. Turning our once idyllic fishing village into a gambling haven also didn’t seem to warrant a Referendum in 2004, yet it remains uncertain these days if the Government had made the right choice about casinos without consulting the general public, with so much investment in damage control and prevention. In fact, I think the National Conversation system was set up PRECISELY to ward off any suggestion of the more decisive Referendum. If you deliver a dud platform for airy-fairy topics of discussion, you provide citizens the illusion of ‘ownership’, when it’s really a distraction from your actual powers as a citizen. It’s like a desperate father giving his kid a digital watch to play with instead of an iPad.

I would argue that overloading our tiny island with new citizens IS in fact a ‘life and death’ issue. You could have people losing their careers and minds in the heat of competition. You’d have the weak and elderly fainting, wheezing, getting heart attacks or beating each other silly from the sheer stress of taking public transport. Not to mention the spread of re-emerging Third World diseases that we’re struggling to contain even today like influenza, dengue and TB. You’d have the national identity diluted by foreign invaders, hence the ‘sovereignty’ of being Singaporean. Ministers like Khaw Boon Wan and DPM Teo are convinced that things will go according to plan, telling us ‘not to worry’ like singing a lullaby while shaking the baby. There’s a reason why they call it the population ‘bomb’ and not the ‘sweet spot’, an embarrassingly corporeal catchphrase that brings to mind the brink of an orgasm or releasing a long-suppressed fart rather than what should be better simplified as ‘balance’. But why feed us with boring energy bars when you can spin candy floss, and all this sugarcoating of a serious, even dangerous, logistic nightmare is giving me the cavities in addition to the heebie-jeebies.

For subjecting Singaporeans to the terror of squeezing and squirming our way through every facet of our lives, the White paper is not so much a predictive model of an economically sustainable wunderkind nation, but really a user’s manual titled ‘How to Live in a Box and Still Call Your Nation a Liveable City’.  When the country bursts at its seams and the Government hangs the WHITE flag, it’s already too late giving them the RED card for the WHITE paper. I’d like to see our President do something really, if only to stop the masses, the foreign labour and jobless hobos from camping on Istana grounds when they have no place left to live. You don’t have to be a crowded nation to be successful. You just need smart leaders, you know, with 20/20 foresight.

Postscript: Khaw Boon Wan later clarified (2 Feb 2013) that 6.9 M was the ‘WORST CASE SCENARIO’ and that hoped that the actual figure would be turned out to be ‘much lower’. So what’s the ideal population for Singapore then? Just a few days back, he said a ‘high quality of life’ was still possible for 6.9 M people and that we shouldn’t ‘worry’ about a thing. Now it’s not so much a population explosion that I’m ‘worried’ about. I’m worried if the Government knows what exactly it’s doing with the White Paper forecast. This concession after all the comforting and confidence seems like a forced U-turn to me.

Filed under: 1960s, 2013, Environment, Politicians | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Curious mynahs scaring off cowardly hawk

Posted on October 14, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Hawk no match for pesky mynahs’, 14 Oct 2012, article by Jessica Lim, Sunday Times

Orchard Road’s hawk patrols have failed. It turns out that the bird of prey is no match for the pesky, noisy mynahs plaguing the shopping strip….The birds moved from that roosting spot to the area near Cathay Cineleisure Orchard and The Heeren, and an estimated 2,000 to 5,000 descend at dusk, especially between 6.45pm and 7pm.

People have complained about noise and droppings that strike pedestrians, cars and walkways. So far this year, the authorities have received 13 reports about the bird nuisance.

…Jurong Bird Park was happy to help, and provided a hawk and handler for three test runs from September last year. Alas, the big bird was found to be intimidated by the large flock of mynahs, said park general manager Raja Segran. He thinks there are other reasons why the idea could not take off, though some might suspect these are just a hawk’s excuses:

The mynahs’ new surroundings meant the hawk needed a long time to adjust;

The thick-canopied trees made it difficult for the bird handler to keep contact with the hawk;

Vehicles could knock down the hawk.

“The movement of the crowd and noise from vehicles along that stretch made the hawk very distracted,” he said. “The flow of traffic on Orchard Road made it too risky to fly our birds there.”

In the trials, which included releasing the hawk onto a tree, it was found that at first the hawk frightened the mynahs off. “But after a while, the mynahs were seen coming back to the tree where the hawk was, as if very curious to see what bird it was,” he said.

No surprise that neither NEA nor AVA was mentioned in this article, with the writer using the annoyingly vague ‘the authorities’, since none of these agencies actually want to take charge of mynahs. Pigeons (AVA) and crows (NEA) yes, but nobody wants their hands full with these rascally birds. In 2008, the NEA did shoot down some crows, but seemingly left most of the mynahs alone since these birds are not ‘in their purview’. Maybe the selective extermination of a bigger ‘competitor’ bird boosted up mynah numbers and made them more fearless since.  So what do Orchard Road tenants do then if the authorities have gone cuckoo over pest control? Take matters into their own hands, of course. By hiring a Jurong Bird Park veteran who trains hawks more for entertainment than stalking and eating smaller nuisance birds. You wouldn’t hire Sylvester the Cat to catch Tweety Bird would you?

You can’t blame the hawk or its handler really. Not only is the force of 5000 mynahs too much to bear, but having led a good life in captivity as a pet, mascot or performer for the Bird park, you would have no incentive to hunt down an unruly flock of squawking, pooping mynahs.  You would rather put on a ‘King of the Skies’ show and awe little children with your gliding prowess and extend your lethal talons ready to strike like you’re plucking a python out of a bush, even if you’ve done nothing with them other than clutching for dear life to some falconer dressed like Mulan.

Glam hawker

Falconry is apparently a noble, majestic sport of sorts that has existed since the Mongols, where raptors are trained to specifically hunt game or impress royal guests at a party. Today falconry is also employed as a natural pest control system, but no one even in medieval times could prepare a hawk for a thousand-strong army of swooping birds, creatures who have no qualms about stealing food from the Apex predators themselves or even go banzai on them on the streets. According to the article, there has been modest success of using hawks to chase off seagulls at a shopping mall in Exeter. Either our mynahs are a formidable guerilla force to be reckoned with, or hawks and their handlers can’t deal with the concrete jungle that is Orchard Road, a jungle where a black bird is king.

If poison, sonic devices, big birds or scarecrows don’t do the job, perhaps ‘the authorities’ should install giant fans in the vicinity of the birds’ roosting areas, which are known to sever bird heads every now and then. Alternatively, you could just take the underpass instead, just to avoid a uniquely Orchard Road weather forecast of Cloudy with a Chance of Droppings.

It’s a bird..

Filed under: 2000s, 2012, Bureaucrats, Environment, Noise, Orchard Road, Pedestrians, Pesky animals, Shopping malls, Tourists | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

No peeling of pineapples allowed in Geylang Serai market

Posted on October 1, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘Fruit sellers upset over NEA regulation’, 1 Oct 2012, article by Eunice Toh, TNP

…Fruit sellers at the market said they were verbally warned by a National Environment Agency (NEA) officer on Thursday last week that they are not allowed to skin or cut the pineapples they sell. They said they were told that anyone who violates the regulation would be slapped with a fine, believed to be $200.

The New Paper understands that the move is part of licensing regulations. Stallholders at markets are not licensed to sell peeled or cut fruits. These can only be sold at hawker centres and coffee shops under a different licence, and you need to go through the Basic Food Hygiene Course to get it, says NEA on its website.

…The enforcement of the regulation means a loss of customers, said the fruit sellers at the Geylang Serai wet market. Said Mr Ng Ah Bee, 62, in Mandarin: “Have people fallen ill from eating my fruits? We haven’t received any complaints all these years. “How do we do business like this?”

…Regular patron C. C. Choo, who visits the Geylang Serai market every Tuesday, said: “I live at Changi Road and I come all the way to buy pineapples because the stallholders peel the fruit for me.” The 79-year-old retiree added: “I can’t even cut an apple. How am I supposed to peel a pineapple?”

Another customer shocked by the news was Madam Bebe Seet, 62. She said: “I thought the stallholder was joking at first. I couldn’t believe it.” She is also worried about how this would affect her 15-year-old business. She owns a Peranakan heritage shop along East Coast Road, which also sells pineapple tarts.

She said: “I usually order about 80 to 100 pineapples at one go. Pineapple tarts are my speciality. Where am I going to get cut pineapples now?”

It may just be a coincidence, but another ‘SEET’ complained to STOMP about being deprived of this ‘buang kulit’ service, though this person claimed that the fine was not $200, but $1000. There haven’t been cases of people dying of pineapple poisoning in recent memory, but there have been deaths from consuming rojak in Geylang Serai in 2009, that’s excluding 150 others who fell sick from it. Which may explain why NEA officers are picking on Geylang Serai stallholders rather than those in other markets, with its infamy of being the site of the WORST case of food poisoning in Singapore’s history. It was also a PR disaster for NEA, otherwise known for their rigorous maintenance of hygiene standards. And asking people to clear their trays after eating.

Leaving the skin on a fruit doesn’t necessarily mean it’s ‘cleaner’, as anyone who’s been to a supermarket and seen aunties probing fruit with their grubby fingers can testify. It would be interesting if someone decides to send a random unpeeled NTUC apple and a Geylang Serai peeled and cut pineapple for microbial testing. I wouldn’t be surprised to find the apple having a higher bacterial count than the doorknob of a People’s Park toilet, a result by which you can toss the NEA’s case against cut fruits out of the window. I haven’t personally peeled a pineapple myself, but from the looks of its hard, spiny exterior, I wouldn’t call it so much ‘peeling’ as it is ‘deshelling’. You’d probably need a blade sharp enough to pry a tortoise’s carapace off its back. If you force pineapple fans to bring these armoured fruits home WHOLE, they may end up contaminating the fruits themselves if not done in a surgical manner, with a chopper or on a chopping board that has remnants of raw meat on it. If you’re in a mad rush to prepare stacks of pineapple tarts for CNY however,  a chainsaw would be the only viable option.

So what does one make of this ‘Basic Food Hygiene Course’ then? Turns out it is 7 hours of training followed by 1.5 hours of ‘assessment’, which I’d imagine to be nothing more than a T/F or MCQ test. After which you’re a certified food handler, though that doesn’t stop creepy crawlies from finding their way into your dishes, whether you’re slogging it out at a wet market or a fancy restaurant. Unless the NEA can justify how a cut and sealed pineapple is more hazardous than a bunch of manhandled grapes in a supermarket, my take is that this crackdown is excessively erring on the side of caution than anything else, based on nothing more than a legacy of contaminated rojak, the kind of rojak that traditionally doesn’t use pineapple too.

Filed under: 2000s, 2012, Bureaucrats, Environment, Hawkers, Local food | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

NS man killed by tree in freak accident

Posted on September 30, 2012 by gdy2shoez

From ‘NSman’s death: Tree was checked in April’, 29 Sept 2012, article by Jalelah Abu Baker and Lim Yan Liang, ST

The site where the fallen tree killed an operationally ready national serviceman (NSman) on Thursday was checked during a routine inspection in April.

The inspection was carried out by the Singapore Land Authority (SLA), which said in response to The Straits Times’ queries last night that such checks included the pruning of trees on state land in populated areas.

“For forested state land next to populated or high-traffic areas, SLA carries out periodic and cyclical checks of trees, and will prune them when necessary,” said an SLA spokesman.

The spokesman did not say how often these checks were made, and declined to comment when asked what the authority thought had caused the tree to fall, citing ongoing police investigations.

On Thursday, Lance Corporal (NS) Tan Tai Seng, 23, was waiting to enter the military grounds of the Ama Keng Training Area in Lim Chu Kang when the tree fell and pinned him to the ground.

When a tree falls by the roadside and no one is there to see it, who do you point your fingers at? SLA, NParks or GOD? April is a good 6 months since this tree was maintained, and according to NParks’ Tree Management Programme, inspection along ‘major roads or parkland’ is done at least once every 18 months, to check ‘health and stability to ensure that trees are safe and stable under NORMAL weather conditions’. Which suggests that the authorities have little control over ‘healthy’ trees still succumbing to ‘tree failure’ in the event of storms. Of course when someone’s life is at stake, it’s no longer ‘tree failure’ anymore, but a ‘freak accident’. In the Garden City, when the bough breaks, it’s not just the cradle that will fall. Vehicles are a favourite target for killer trees. Other hits include houses, hikers, covered walkways and even the NTU hostel. One death is too many still, no matter how much pruning or hi-tech tree tomography the authorities deploy to keep our 800,000 roadside trees (in 2009) in pristine condition.

In 2000 alone, there were at least 3000 cases of trees falling apart, and NParks maintains that the number has been reduced over the years. So how did SLA suddenly get involved in tree management? Earlier in March, one particular huge tree in Upper Bukit Timah which crushed a couple of cars was reported to be ‘managed’ by SLA (after a clarification by the media that it was wrongly attributed to NParks’ charge) with one of the motorists describing it as more than ‘FLIMSY’. It seems that the work to look after our trees is split between these agencies (though they would call it ‘tapping on mutual resources and expertise’), with SLA taking charge of a tree bank consisting of 11,000 trees in 2008. But even SLA may refer you to someone else if you try to seek damages when a giant tree crashes into your house. In the case of a near-fatal bungalow incident in Seah Im Road in 2008, it was EM Services, a property management company. If a tree falls and hits your car in a HDB carpark, a lawyer may tell you to claim damages against your TOWN COUNCIL, though the latter will tell you to speak to your insurance company. Sometimes, the town council may pin the blame on a ‘horticultural contractor’, and even the URA may be answerable to trees falling in their carparks. Like pesky birds, it seems that we’re facing the same accountability problem with toppling trees, and no one knows if they should call the HDB, NParks, URA, SLA, property agents, insurance companes, third-party contractors, your MP or the Archbishop if something unforseen and terrible happens.

Most of our trees were part of a LKY-led ‘green rage’ to artificially landscape Singapore into a tropical paradise, and instead of just focusing on post-mortem fingerpointing, one should think about the tree’s history too, whether it was indigenous to the area or one of those ‘instant trees’ that was erected in a hurry, like a clumsy prop on a shaky wooden stage. Any attempt to sue NParks, SLA or your town council with negligence in the event that a tree murders a loved one would be countered with the ‘Act of God’ defence, unless you could prove beyond a canopy of a doubt that the authorities have not been diligent in their inspections. But just how efficient are these ‘checks’ anyway? In the recent case of a tree crashing a metal roof of a walkway in Sentosa, it was checked merely 3 WEEKS before the incident, though the inspection was managed by Sentosa’s ‘environment and landscape’ team and there was no mention of any agencies’ involvement. If so, SHOULD NParks have been involved? Or is it a case of ‘your tree, not mine’? Are victims of killer trees condemned to resigning themselves to just ‘bad luck’ and endless rounds of ‘passing the parcel’ over which tree belongs to which agency?

It would be unfair to blame the SAF for not training our soldiers how to defend themselves against uprooted trees, but if history prevails, the likely answer given to the distraught family of the deceased is probably a botanical (fungus infection, bad soil) or a meterological one (bad weather, strong winds). Mother Nature already took the blame for being the mastermind behind our flash floods, and now she’s orchestrating death by trees too.  I think it’s time we have an NParks App that alerts Singaporeans to any tree that is ‘due for inspection’ so that we can watch out for falling branches or whole trees going ‘timber!!’ on us if we’re anywhere near. They could call it Angry Trees or something. It could save a few lives and cost much less than a bunch of overpriced bicycles.

Filed under: 2000s, 2012, Bureaucrats, Environment, HDB, Motorists | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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