Temasek Revealed’s Hoax NSF death

From ‘Blog post on NSF’s death a hoax’, 29 Jan 2012, article by Jessica Lim, Sunday Times

The Defence Ministry (Mindef) has refuted as a hoax a blog post claiming that a full-time national serviceman (NSF) was shot dead last Friday during a live-firing exercise. The post appeared that evening on a blog which calls itself Temasek Revealed. It said the incident took place that morning.

The post then appeared on a Facebook page called Temasek Review early yesterday. It said a 19-year-old Singapore Armed Forces serviceman had been shot in the right eye by a stray bullet in the Sembawang area and that he died on the spot. Neither the blog, nor the Temasek Review Facebook page, is associated with the sociopolitical website Temasek Review Emeritus (TRE), which was originally known as Temasek Review.

By noon yesterday, the post had gone viral on forums such as Hardwarezone, and on other blogs and social networking sites. Temasek Revealed first appeared shortly after the original Temasek Review website went offline in September last year. The latter has since returned as TRE. An opposition candidate in last year’s general election, Mr Alex Tan, had said on his Facebook page that the Temasek Revealed blog was published by him.

The ‘Temasek’ brand, though initially created to stimulate political awareness and insider ‘journalism’, has generated enough clones to diminish its credibility as a source of reliable information. The irony of this all is that the original Temasek Review had copyright issues with Temasek Holdings’ Annual Report by the same name, and now has to face the dilution of identity by its namesake ‘sociopolitical’ bastard-child blogs. This is exactly the reason why PM Lee was concerned about the net becoming a free-for-all cowboy town, with a clueless sheriff and dozens of imposter Billy the Kids running amok. Secrecy, something which even the national paper is prone to keeping, in the form of withholding actual names to allow for verification is one reason why people succumb to sensational stories.  The fact that an anonymous death  report was sent by an anonymous relative via anonymous post/email, to a blog with an anonymous author, fails to prevent a piece of delicious tabloid tripe from spreading like wildfire.

Content matters, of course. A hoax has to be believable but not mundane enough to be ignored. If I were to plant a random forum with ‘Famous actress spotted with two guys at a bar!’, nobody would bat an eyelid. If, however, I change a single word to ‘Famous actress spotted lap-dancing two guys in a bar!’, now that’s news, but it can only work if people have a rough idea of which slutty celebrity this might be i.e you need a background history, or reputation. As for the NSF death case, there are three background facts: One, accidents like these CAN happen. Two: Specific accidents in the army HAVE happened in the past. Three: The SAF has a reputation of safety to maintain. Taken together, our natural human tendency is to develop sufficient interest in this to talk about it, whether we ultimately believe it to be true or not. Offline, it’s called gossip. Social media merely multiplies that effect, and by replicating itself through a wider network of busybodies than face-to-face chatter, things are bound to get skewed, and screwed, out of proportion.

Nothing captures attention like a hoax death, whether it involves evil dictators or singer/actors like Jon Bon Jovi and the classic ‘Paul McCartney is dead’ meme. Often these are the result of pranksters with no malicious intent to slurry the reputation of their targets other than send some gullible fans into premature mourning, since such rumours are easily dispelled. A phantom report of death from NS, however, seems designed not just to sensationalise, but specifically to get the ants in MINDEF’s pants. But you don’t even need the Internet to start the ball of ballyhoo rolling. In the past you could simply typewrite a letter, lodge it with the police and then proceed to rub your hands in glee.

In 1958, a spate of hoaxing got the media and affected targets in a frenzy, one involving the murder of a ‘poor girl’ by a gang. In the same year, Government Pensioner Mr A Khandiah of Cumberland Lane was ‘killed’ 5 times by hoaxers, before perishing FOR REAL after a botched operation, a cruel twist to the ‘Boy who cried Wolf’ perhaps.  On some occasions you may even bypass the media and telephone the undertaker straightaway impersonating as an Inspector, if you want to pull a really sick joke on a fellow naval officer.

So, how much distress has this fakery caused that the poster, or publisher, warrants a punishment? If the hoaxer had said ‘A military personnel has died’, people with loved ones in the army may worry a little. Saying ‘A 19-year old NS man has died during live-firing’ narrows the chances of the deceased being someone you know, but intensifies the tension. The most punishing hoax of all is one that falls  midway between being uselessly vague (Someone in the army has died) and the full reveal (Corporal So-and-so, 19 years old, in So-and-so Unit, was killed). In this instance, grisly details about how the bullet busted an eye socket and penetrated a skull was relayed, which sounds convincing until you realise how anyone can cite forensic evidence with such confidence just by watching CSI on cable.  Whatever the consequences, it’s not just the hoaxer/publisher who suffers ill-repute in this case. Such incidents give the authorities further justification for clamping down on bloggers because we’re not showing that we can be mature, discerning adults. By posting frivolous nonsense to generate publicity, this NS hoaxer is either shooting himself in the foot,  has a childish grudge against the army, or is an anti-tech ultra-conservative who wants to put an end to social media freedom forever.

PM Lee’s heir not apparent

From ‘PM Lee does not see his children joining politics’, 28 Jan 2012, article in asiaone.com

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, the son of Singapore’s founding father Lee Kuan Yew, said on Thursday that he does not think that his children will enter politics. “They will have to decide but if you ask me now I think the odds are not on it,” he told the Davos meeting of business and political elite.

“It’s a different generation, it’s a new world, there are so many opportunities in Singapore,” said Lee.

…Asked what it was like living under his father’s shadow, Lee said: “Well, I don’t know. I’ve never not had it. It’s tough enough, but you have to live with it.”

Lee said his illustrious father “had expectations, but he left me to do my own thing. He did not push me into this, and neither would it have worked had he done so.”

It’s a strange, reluctant response to a commonly asked question, but PM Lee’s double-negative admission that living under his father’s shadow was ‘tough enough’ smacks of weariness of being asked the same question over and over again by international journalists. Something to be expected perhaps, having to brush aside accusations of nepotism and rising up the ranks as a politician in your own right. At some point, such persistent hints about dynastic ascension within the PAP would incur the wrath of the Lees, having sued the New York Times for suggesting that this succession was no accident. But journalists are an unapologetic, fearless lot, and once the small talk is over, they would almost always jump casually into a loaded conversation about PM Lee’s father LKY and what it’s like being compared to him all the damn time.

In 2006, this is what PM Lee said in response to reporter Anjali Rao from CNN Talkasia on the same topic.

(On his kids)…They have to find their own paths… They have to go with what they are good at, decide what they want to do with their lives, and make something out of it. They will not always listen to me. And I don’t think they will go into politics because they happen to be my children….My parents were lawyers; they let us choose our own paths.

Q (Rao): Some have said that as long as he (Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew) remains in Cabinet, he’s the one who’s really pulling the strings?

A: (PM Lee) (Laughs) There’s no end to this argument. People have to look at me and decide whether I’m speaking for myself, or whether there’s a little earphone giving me instructions.

In 1996, also at Davos, then DPM Lee had the honour of crossing swords with the late William Safire, who raised the issue of nepotism, to which Hsien Loong issued the challenge to debate this in court, that he was chosen by voters and appointed DPM by PM Goh Chok Tong, not his father, despite such proceedings happening under the latter’s watchful, probably hopeful, eyes.

Charges of nepotism came fast barely after he stepped into the PAP arena in 1984, to which Hsien Loong gamely, and genially, replied that he is ‘not his father’ and defended the PAP’s ‘open’ selection process. Just before being appointed PM he was faced with the same onslaught of questions on whether all this was preordained, since with each step he seemed to be rising ever closer to his father’s position in Cabinet.

I am myself. I am not my father. I am not the Senior Minister. I am not Mr Goh Chok Tong. I am myself and people have to take me for what I am and what I am able to do for them.

For a moment I thought those were rap lyrics from the Eminem hit ‘The Way I am’.

‘Cause I am whatever you say I am/ If I wasn’t then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news, everyday I am/ I don’t know that’s just the way I am

Touchy. OK we get it. Perhaps PM Lee knew the kind of heat one would suffer if any of his kids decided to follow in his footsteps, and wanted to spare them the tedium of constantly proving  to detractors that they and their father are two separate individuals, by giving a homely answer any modern, generous parent would agree with.

LKY himself has been pressured into revealing what aspirations he has for Hsien Loong since the latter entered politics in 1984, often coldly distancing himself from any cosy father-son bonds whatsoever.This is what the elder Lee said in response to a Korean journalist in 1986

I would be more comfortable if Hsien Loong were not my son. I think I would feel freer and more comfortable in shaping his career path and his exposure.

Wonder how the son would feel with Daddy verbally disowning you in public. A year earlier, the National Press Club in Washington issued this stinger:

 Q:In the United States, it appears to some that your son, Lee Hsien Loong, is being groomed as your heir apparent. Would you please comment on the apparent founding of a Lee dynasty and the effect that might have on democract in Singapore.

To which LKY responded that Hsien Loong ‘was no fool’, and ‘feels that he is a person unto himself and not an object to be manipulated by his father’. If the same question were uttered today, it’s likely someone will be hauled to court and forced to back up his statements.

Well even if LKY  took a hands-off approach once PM Lee ventured into politics, no one can deny the natural tendency of fathers to shape their sons into their own mould. In 1956, LKY determined that his 4 year old son (Hsien Loong) ‘is not going to an English school’ and ‘will not be a model Englishman’.  But even without the dastardly hand of a controlling father figure, young Hsien Loong has been thrust into the public figure spotlight for as long as his could remember. When he was 11, he was TOP BOY of his school. At 12, everyone knew about his JUDO award. When he was 16, the ST reported that the PM’s son was tight-rope walking. At 18, we hear about his becoming a President’s scholar and embarking on NS. Hsien Loong was the poster eldest son of PM in the eyes of every Singaporean, born in the year of the Dragon and destined to lead by example, every success  story from his Masters and Book Prize, his meteoric rise in the military (white horse notwithstanding) to his fight with lymphoma has been documented with the fawning earnestness as how one celebrates a newly minted Duke, Prince or baby Jesus.  It only seemed logical that circumstances would shape the man we know as our PM today, whatever his personal reasons for becoming one. He is his own man alright, but you can’t ignore the influence,  and advantages conferred, intentional or otherwise, of being born to a very powerful father.

Slapping on TV does not reflect reality

From ‘Love the show but not the slapping’, 28 Jan 2012, ST Forum

(Esther Wong): MY FAMILY and I enjoy watching Double Bonus on Channel 8 at 9pm from Monday to Friday.

However, the frequent slapping scenes are uncalled for and are very disturbing.

I hope the Channel 8 drama team can cut down on these scenes because they do not reflect reality and are likely to teach wrong family values, especially to young children who watch the drama serial.

Zoe gets it

If everyone were to disapprove of Channel 8 dramas ‘not reflecting reality’, the station would go bankrupt from lack of entertainment value, not that I’m a fan myself. Just look at the gung-ho action setpieces and bomb-in-a-dustbin hijinks in C.L.I.F. In fact, the trailer of Double Bonus itself (click pic above), with its cheesy recycled from the 80′s special effects,  dry-ice masquerading as celestial clouds, and the presence of two gorgeous Pan-Asian hunks, already says a lot about the gratuitous fantasy  in this serial without you having to watch a single episode. Like its name suggests, Double Bonus is your obligatory Chinese New Year drama special designed to promote family togetherness, with plenty of images of people eating at a table and doomed to climax to fever pitch with the entire cast breaking the third wall and wishing viewers long life and prosperity ahead and making you feel like hugging your Ah Gong right away. Long-time fans of local drama would remember CNY clones like ‘Prosperity‘, ‘Happy Family’, ‘Reunion Dinner’ and ‘Uncle, Where’s My Ang Pow?’. OK the last one was made up.

Times like these you can’t just bank on veterans like Zoe Tay or foreign eye candy anymore, which explains why scriptwriters, already running short of ideas other than cashing in on rape scenes, need to woo viewers with some good old fashioned family violence, something which Taiwanese family-spat marathon melodrama like ‘Ai’ is famous for. The Pan-Asians, the goofy costumes, the supernatural angle, are light-hearted elements just to suit the occasion and getting in the way  of what the folks at Channel 8 really aspire to produce: An all-out domestic slap-happy scandal-a-minute Armageddon. If you look at the trailer closely you’ll notice friendlier acts of violence like the ‘forehead push’, which could inadvertently cause as much harm as a whiplash in a car accident. Hugs and kisses just don’t do it for viewers anymore. We are instinctively attracted to domestic abuse like we rubberneck at car crashes, which is why slapping works. We like to see people ‘lose it’ as a vicarious, sadistic pleasure, and nothing serves up the tension like an impending slap to the face, especially after random objects like vases, plates and windows have been destroyed.

Slapping is probably unheard of in the writer’s sanitised window of the world, but to say slapping doesn’t reflect reality is like denying the existence of masturbation. Perhaps she should go out more often, chances are she may even catch a rare public slapping act in action. Teachers and supervisors of orphanages are known to punish by slapping, and I’m pretty sure some passionate couples still abuse each other in the heat of argument (and still make love after, perhaps with different forms of ‘slapping’). Ordinary citizens have been known to slap policemen, and so too women clashing over male lovers.  Google the definition ‘catfight’ and you’ll find ‘slapping’. Even today’s kids reverse the domestic order of discipline by giving a tight one to their mothers and boast online about it, like Adelyn Ho Seh Bo.

So, slapping, despite most people restraining themselves from delivering one to their spouses, bosses, MPs , other people’s annoying children or a kinky lover, is very REAL indeed. It’s the only bloodless physical act where one can feel so good after unleashing one, but wracked with guilt just a second later. How often do we vent ‘I feel like giving him a tight slap’ or ‘He deserves to be slapped’? In a way, the act of slapping is like learning what sex is. You have to see it with your own eyes or experience one yourself, and since slapping has been in existence since God knows when, it’s unfair to blame the media for taking the drama one slap too far, though one should deduct points for lack of imagination. The alternative to insulting a character in a show is to flame his Facebook account, but you don’t need TV for that do we.

Yaw Shin Leong and the Other Opposition woman

From ‘No comment on ‘affair’ rumours’, 26 Jan 2012, article by Melvin Singh, TNP

IT HAS not been a happy new year so far for the Workers’ Party MP for Hougang, Mr Yaw Shin Leong, who has become the subject of a raging online firestorm. Allegations about his personal life were posted online last Friday and have gone viral on several forums.

His Facebook page was also peppered with postings. While a few suggest that the allegations are a smear campaign, others want him to respond to the allegations or apologise if they are true and move on.

Mr Yaw, who is married, is alleged to have had an affair with a married woman who is a member of an opposition party. The WP leadership is aware of the allegations, but so far everyone connected to the case is keeping mum.

This CNY is fast becoming the Year of the Scandal, with top officials probed for corruption and an Opposition MP harrassed on Facebook for alleged personal indiscretions. Anything coming out of Facebook shouldn’t be taken too seriously, of course, but it’s interesting to note that other than ex-PAP Choo Wei Khiang , it’s usually Opposition MPs in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons, though Yaw’s rumour mill is unlikely to take the heat off the SCDF and CNB ‘mystery woman’ angle. Meanwhile, the men continue to be exposed while the women involved remain the key point of speculation and top search hits on Google. This piece of tabloid juiciness ought to make all MPs think twice before using social media as a portal to the masses, or having weird hobbies like taking photos of their domestic helpers in the nude.

In 2003, NMP Steve Chia was forced to resign from NSP after allegations of ‘outrage of modesty’ when nude photos of his maid were uncovered from his home.  Initially refusing, she agreed to take the ‘sexy photos’ upon some mild persuasion after Chia asked her to ‘give it a try’, prompting members of the public to denounce him as some sort of misogynistic slave-driving pervert. He was cleared of any kind of physical naughtiness eventually in 2004, and was back in action again in last year’s GE contesting Pioneer ward. It remains to be seen if his past scuffles with the law, or his ‘master and servant’ erotic play, would affect his chances of ever returning to Parliament, but at least he’s trying.

The question then, is whether what a politician does behind closed doors, be it a fetish for nude maids or playing footsie with a fellow Opposition party member, should be an indicator of his failing as an effective leader. PAP MPs, I’m sure, have their own skeletons in the closet by virtue of being only human, or are subconsciously suppressed from fulfilling their wildest, sickest porno dreams by an all-white uniform, which essentially serves the same purpose as a mirror in front of a glutton gorging on his favourite food.

Being a  serial womaniser and unfaithful to one’s spouse hasn’t stopped other men from being successful and ascending to top ranks outside of government. Some would even say it’s a default perk for simply being in such a position, notwithstanding how such men will get their ‘just deserts’.  The initial gut sentiment to a cheating politician would be of disgust and mistrust, but as with powerful men with a soft spot for the ladies everywhere in the world, it’s a tussle between how the electorate perceives personal moral ambiguity vs getting a job done well and justifying a million-dollar salary, regardless of his insatiable sex drive.  I wonder if even the wisdom of colleague Chen Show Mao could save Yaw from this mess. Incidentally, Yaw, born in 1976, is a Dragon baby and like our PM, has a dragon character in his Chinese name. I wonder what his geomancer has to say.

SCDF and CNB chiefs seriously misconducting themselves

From ‘SCDF and CNG chiefs under CPIB probe’, 24 Jan 2012, article by Satish Cheney, insing.com

Singapore Civil Defence Force (SCDF) Commissioner Peter Lim and Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) director, Ng Boon Gay are among eight officers being investigated by the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau, reported Lianhe Wanbao.

The report said Lim had been suspended for nearly a month while Ng has been questioned by CPIB officers. Six other SCDF officials including two high ranking ones are allegedly being investigated as well.

The Chinese daily reported that sources said the case is “linked to money and women.

In a statement to the media, the Home Affairs ministry said both Lim and Ng are helping the CPIB with investigations into alleged “serious personal misconduct.”…Both Lim, 51, and Ng, 45, are Public Service Commission (PSC) scholars.

What is corruption without money and/or women, or rather SEX? An expected topple in the global corruption ranking aside (we’re currently fifth cleanest in the world), giving in to temptation while on public service duty is almost exclusively a male trait. Just last year a couple of SLA directors bought themselves fancy cars after embezzling millions. Barely a few weeks ago, a senior technical officer from NEA was jailed for accepting contractor bribes. But one organisation seems to fall prey rather readily to the pleasures of the flesh, in particular drug-addict flesh.

In 2008, a round of sex with a drug offender after her urine test landed CNB officer Phua Jun Yang with a sexual favours charge, breaching the Official Secrets Act while claiming his supervisee as his ‘girlfriend’. Similar cases of leniency in exchange for sex occurred in 1994 (CNB man helped drug user in exchange for sex, 9 May 1994, ST), and 2004 (Sexual favours from girls land CNB man in jail, 4 Sept 2004, ST).  One can only imagine the sums of cash, free snorts of cocaine and copious amounts of naked flesh thrown in to seduce the biggest CNB wig of them all. Or maybe I’ve just watched too many gritty scumbag-cop movies like Bad Lieutenant. Sex is also a bribe offered to ICA officers by China women caught for overstaying, but that’s another story altogether.

It turns out that a female IT exec from an American multinational company and some business with tenders were involved, and both men have admitted to having had ‘close working’ and ‘improper’ relations with the same woman. At some point you’d have to call a spade a spade and use uncomfortable terms like ‘sex, tryst, affair, mistress’. Sleaze avoidance is futile, no matter how high ranking the culprits are. The Chinese media managed to get a trashy lead on who this mystery woman might be; a 40-ish divorcee with kids who goes round flirting with men, wears low-cut tight clothing, and goes by the Hokkien nickname of ‘水查某 ‘, or ‘swee cha bor’, a come-hither compliment more befitting of KTV hostesses than IT execs. She later became a ‘36 year old’ beauty, now with a husband and believed to have had actual SEX with both men. Before you know it she could be young enough to pass off as their daughters.

I also managed to dig up an unfortunate photo of Ng Boon Gay with a huge paycheck at the recent CNB 40th anniversary held late last year. Just look at that face.

The above event, part of a community outreach by CNB to family members affected by incarcerated drug offenders, was also the source of the following soundbite, probably the last you’ll ever hear of Ng in the capacity of a CNB director:

This donation drive shows that while CNB officers are entrusted with the task of enforcing Singapore’s zero tolerance against drug abuse, we empathise and understand the need to extend a helping hand to the families affected by their incarceration so that they can continue with their lives.

We also happen to have zero tolerance against corruption. Check out Peter Lim also holding a big cheque, and being presented with an award by Vivian Balakrishnan in this SCDF newsletter. Our current Minister of Environment once sang the praises of accused ex-MP Choo Wei Khiang as well. But wait, everyone’s so obsessed with the sex bits that perhaps there might not be any money being pocketed after all. People stumbling onto this blog have searched for smut like ‘ng boon gay sex video’ and ‘who is IT exec mystery woman’. In fact, you could start a blog with the tags scdf, cnb, ng boon gay, IT exec, sex and you could have 50 hits in a day at least.

Of course, the majority of CNB officers are honest-to-goodness workers and should be commended for preventing Singapore from turning into a Grand Theft Auto Vice City. They don’t have it easy, being exposed in their line of work to the dual temptations of drugs and sex, the latter a commodity that drug users are desperate enough to trade for under-reporting, if not free drugs. Under-reporting, incidentally, was what happened when the ‘Subutex effect’ was used to explain away miscalculations of drug arrests since 2008, presumably due to a ‘change of IT systems’. The error was uncovered when Ng Boon Gay was in charge last year. In fact, even for this case, both men were arrested at least 2 weeks before the news broke during CNY, which led to a Today writer lamenting about high salaries and how this was hushed from the public.

Whatever the outcome of this, it appears that our country with its whitewashed, hard-nosed rules and regulations is no longer as ‘clean’ as it was once thought to be, both literally and figuratively. It does, however, mean that the CPIB is doing a respectable job, and if it’s in fact capable of ferreting out white-collar felons whatever rank they are, then enforcement should be a better deterrent to temptation than an obscene paycheck.

PM Lee wants more Dragon babies

From PM Lee: Singapore’s fertility rate up last year, 22 Jan 2012, article by Judith Tan/Lydia Lim, Sunday Times

Singapore’s Total Fertility Rate (TFR) picked up slightly last year to 1.20, up from a historic low of 1.15 in 2010. The Prime Minister announced the figure on Saturday in his Chinese New Year message, which focused on the central role of families as anchors for identity and sense of belonging, and sources of support in good times and bad.

Mr Lee Hsien Loong also said: ‘I fervently hope that this year will be a big Dragon year for babies.‘ Historically, Singapore enjoys a baby boom every Dragon year, which comes round every 12 years.

…Singapore’s TFR has been on a downward trend and is way below the replacement level of 2.1. It fell from 1.60 in 2000 to 1.20 last year, despite government measures to encourage couples to have more children. The TFR for Chinese Singaporeans is lower, falling from 1.43 to 1.08 over the same period.

Whether there’s a spike in Dragon babies born or not, the general trend is a fertility decline. 1988, two Dragon Years ago, saw a  high of 1.98, a figure that seems unattainable now unless someone flushes our reservoirs with  fertility drugs. Baby booms alone, of course, will not guarantee population growth over time, no matter how many baby-friendly packages are promised by the PM every CNY. It was recently revealed that an average 1000 Singaporeans pack their bags for greener pastures EVERY YEAR. Making Singapore family-friendly isn’t enough, you need to make baby-boomers happy enough to want to stay, or at least not kill themselves. Which means a total revamp of the educational, labour, political and leisure scene to keep citizens stimulated and proud to be Singaporean, not just expanding maternity wards or building more kindergartens.

Lee Kuan Yew kickstarted the CNY baby wish-list in the 80′s after the Dragon boom in 1988.  While encouraging couples to ignore the Zodiac, he also refuted the long-held belief that the Dragon year was auspicious for China’s Chinese at all, citing the great Tangshan earthquake in the last dragon year in 1976.

We should not decide the birth of our children by animal years. Have your babies in any year, including the Snake Year.

And if that year has less babies than Dragon Year, there will be the advantage of more places in good schools and at universities.

The latter statement was a catch that his son refused to elaborate on 24 years later, just as I suspected. But that was 1988, and even though we were just below the 2.1 replacement mark then, we could afford to temper the Dragon craze with a healthy  dose of reality.

Here’s a sample of PM’s baby urgings during CNY speeches over the years, and whether what he wished for actually came true.

2011 (Rabbit), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR increased by 0.05 to 1.20 :

I hope more couples will start or add to their families in the Year of the Rabbit. Chinese New Year is the time for families to come together in celebration, and more babies can mean only more joy in the years to come.

2010 (Tiger), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR dropped from 1.23 to 1.15:

It is one thing to encourage ourselves with the traditional attributes of the zodiac animals…But it is another to cling on to superstitions against children born in the Year of the Tiger, who are really no different from children born under other animal signs.

2009 (Ox), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR dropped from 1.28 to 1.23 (Official stats cite the latter TFR as 1.22)

Even in hard times, we should not neglect the need to bring up a new generation. If you remember, every time there was a recession, birth rates went down. But I hope this time we can buck the trend and keep the birth rate steady. We have implemented many measures to encourage marriage and help you in supporting and bringing up your children. There is also a lag time in procreation, so with luck your babies will arrive in time to enjoy the upswing.

2008(Rat), Lee Hsien Loong, TFR dropped from 1.29 to 1.28.

The government is studying the practical arrangements carefully, to see how we can create an even friendlier environment for having and raising children. We want Singapore to be a great place to bring up families and children.

Looking at his track record since 2008, it’s either PM Lee’s mild exhortations are falling on deaf ears, or the family initiatives are simply not working. To sum up, here’s the TFR trend since 2004:

1.24 (2004), 1.25 (2005), 1.26 (2006),  1.29 (2007), 1.28 (2008), 1.22 (2009), 1.15 (2010), 1.20 (2011)

Which suggests a slow positive creep of TFR up to the point of 2007-2008, when the recession hit, followed by a Tiger year double-whammy barely 2 years later. Meanwhile, the media continues to bombard us with fascinating who’s-who trivia of Dragon personalities, from Li Ka-Shing to Keanu Reeves, when they should have done the same for the Tiger year instead of perpetuating the bossy Tiger female stereotype. But is it truly a race effect? Let’s break it down.

In the 2010 Tiger year, the Chinese TFR hit 1.02, the Malays dipped rather dramatically to  1.65, while the Indians held steady at 1.13. Which means there was nothing special about the drop among the Chinese in 2009-2010 compared to the previous year ( a rate of -0.06); something else was amiss. In the last Dragon year in 2000, the reverse happened, but surprisingly not just for the Chinese. The other races seemed to respond to the Dragon’s roar as well, according to a ‘crude rate report’ charting birth rates from 1997 to 2006. But then it wasn’t just a Dragon year, it was the start of a new MILLENNIUM, and it would be interesting to see if any birth spike occurred 9 months post-Y2K.

Dragon spike for all 3 races

Only time will tell if 2012 breathes fire into the wombs of our women, whether Chinese, Malay or Indian. Meanwhile, the government should focus not just on generating babies or allowing the media to suggest that Dragon babies can grow up to become just like Professor X (Patrick Stewart), but retaining them when they grow older.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

CHIJ girls please stand up

From ‘Poster with CHIJ logo ‘insulting’: school chairperson’, 18 Jan 2012, article by Jeanette Tan, sg.yahoo news.

A poster featuring a naughty message has scandalised some people from the Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus (CHIJ) schools in Singapore. The large circular poster, which depicted the school’s crest at its centre, included a caption in bold capitals that read: “In need of a one night stand: CHIJ girls please stand up!”

…Its (CHIJ board of management) chairperson, Vivienne Lim, told the paper that the unauthorised use of the school’s logo in the poster was “highly inappropriate and demeaning”, adding that it was “insulting” for “thousands of CHIJ alumni and current CHIJ students, some of whom are as young as six years old.”

The poster is believed to have been created as a decorative part of a school-themed party held at Filter Members Club, a nightspot located near Mohamed Sultan Road, last Saturday, alongside a similar one featuring the Anglo-Chinese School logo carrying the caption: “In need of a sugar daddy: Where my AC boys at?”

…“I think it’s highly offensive and ridiculous,” said Kimberly Gwee, 17, who graduated from CHIJ Toa Payoh (Secondary) a year ago. She felt that the poster slandered the names of both CHIJ and ACS. “Each school (CHIJ and ACS) already has bad publicity from rumours that circulate from generation to generation, but this is a whole new level of offence… to slander CHIJ’s name with sexual slurs is really too much.”

20-year-old Isabel Francis, another CHIJ alumnus, agreed, saying that the poster implies that girls who are or were from CHIJ are sleazy. “It’s so in your face; I’m not sure why no one is suing yet,” she added.

Can't Help It, Joking

Holy Infant Jesus! Using the CHIJ crest to promote a dress-up event is not so much insulting to alumni as it is corny and unimaginative. Filter club should know better than to question the chastity of CHIJ girls, hinting not just at naughty cosplay kinkiness, but paedophilia as well. There are, of course, many ways of promoting a ‘Back to school’ theme, and even if AC boys don’t mind being referred to as sugar daddies who drive desperate CHIJ girls about in Daddy’s car, brandishing a prestigious school brand renown for its absetemious preachings is just asking for it. It’s like draping Dora the explorer in lingerie.

This also isn’t the first time CHIJ fiercely defended its squeaky-clean, God fearing, girl-next-door image. You know they mean business when they take action even against the national paper, not to mention a club. In 2006, the board threatened to sue SPH, in particular the Sunday Times for a ‘tongue-in-cheek’ take on ‘IJ’ girls as part of an unofficial ‘Singapore Encyclopedia’, for the following defamatory sentence.

IJ girls is a generalisation for girls who study in CHIJ schools and who like to hem their school uniforms real short, wear their belts real low on their hips, and are allegedly EASY when it comes to the opposite sex.

Chairperson at the time Donna Marie Aeria again made reference to the many ’6 year olds’ damaged by this shameful stereotype. She also happens to be trained as a lawyer, not a nun. (Incidentally, the current IJ board does have a couple of nuns, but twice as many MEN). In the same offending article, there was a cartoon of a ‘chain-smoking sarong party girl’, according to a proud parent of a CHIJ student in the Royal Ballet Academy. Nowhere in the ST paragraph above was SPG hinted at, and sometimes it only takes a backfiring complaint from an uptight parent to perpetuate a myth that wasn’t even there in the first place.

But any school, convent or otherwise, would have its share of ‘good girls gone bad’. In 2000, it was reported that 6 CHIJ Toa Payoh girls were arrested for suspected drug-taking within school premises (6 arrested CHIJ girls sent for drug tests, 5 July 2000). 2 years later, another group of CHIJ girls were caught consuming ketamine in the school toilet (Schoolgirls admit to using drugs, 16 Dec 2002).  Serial shoplifter and former CHIJ girl Goh Lee Yin was caught for stealing items ranging from canned fruit to jelly powder WHILE ON BAIL. Not quite close to the slut stereotype, but one particular former CHIJ girl  and now based in LA actress named Gwyendoline Yeo (she’s the NIECE of George Yeo) did state for the record that she ‘wouldn’t mind playing Singaporean porn starlet Annabel Chong in a movie’. The latter was from RGS, not CHIJ. Praise the lord.

But the only reason why people take notice when CHIJ girls make the news whenever they get into trouble is because they ARE from CHIJ, a proud unit founded on all things holy and virtuous that anything so much as a student winking at a boy is frowned upon, a position which is ripe for double standards. Last year, a CHIJ teacher dressed up as Lady GIGI to perk up her lessons, an obvious reference to Lady GAGA, a celebrity known for her dazzling style but also obnoxious blasphemy. The Lady herself also openly embraces homosexual and transgender lovin’ in ‘Born this Way’, not something that IJ teachers would like their flock to ‘stand up’ for.

This is a Convent, for God’s sake, with very powerful leaders who put their wagging fingers to litigious use whenever one dares besmirch the school crest or does fetishistic things to used uniforms (like posing as a schoolgirl and selling them online) Hell hath no fury like women from Infant Jesus scorned, and anyone who insists on gracing Filter’s Vice Convent event in an IJ uniform risks getting their ears pulled.

Chan Chun Sing’s Chai Tau Kway

From ‘Pay not a primary factor for PAP team: Chan Chun Sing’, 16 Jan 2012, article by Monica Kotwani, Channel News Asia.

…On whether a possible pay cut in ministerial pay after the salary review would make ministers less motivated, Mr Chan related his own experience. He said: “I don’t think anyone of them comes here for the money. They come here to provide a better life for the next generation… One of the reasons why I stepped forward was because I know I’m joining a team of people that are not here for the money.”

He added that the key is to find the right balance. He said: “Money should not be the one (factor) to attract them in. On the other hand, money should also not be the bugbear to deter them.

“(For example,) you go to Peach Garden, you eat the S$10 XO Sauce chye tow kuay (fried carrot cake), you can be quite happy right? Because you are satisfied with the service and so on. On the other hand, you can go to a hawker centre, even if they charge you S$1.50, you might not want to eat it if the quality is not good.”

Ministers should never give speeches just before lunchtime. I have no idea how making a choice to eat cheap or expensive carrot cake has anything to do with ministerial pay. MG Chan is making the assumption here that paying $10 for XO carrot cake is necessarily money well spent, and that eating an otherwise hawker staple in a fancy restaurant ‘makes us happy’. Purists of the Chai Tau Kway hawker school would beg to differ;  I wouldn’t spend $10 on carrot cake in Peach Garden, excellent service and free towelettes  notwithstanding. Perhaps MG Chan was making a point that his ‘Peach Garden’ colleagues are value for money and worth every cent, though this concept veers dangerously close to Goh Chok Tong’s ‘peanuts for monkeys’ analogy back in 1993.

If we do not pay Ministers adequately ($10 Chai Tau Kway at Peach Garden), we will get inadequate Ministers. If you pay ($1.50) peanuts, you will get monkeys for your Ministers (hawker center standard Chai Tau Kway). The people will suffer, not the monkeys.

This is a classic example of politicians using working-class comfort foods as analogies willy-nilly, from style of government to pay matters and foreign talent, often ending up with unintended  consequences. The originator of ‘peanuts’ himself, Emeritus Goh Chok Tong, used ‘chilli crab’ to refer to the quality of politicians contesting the GE in 2011 in the midst of election boundaries being redrawn.

‘If there’s a stall which sells chilli crab that is very well-known, no matter where the chilli crab stall is located, people will flock to eat (at) the chilli crab stall… So you’ve got a good candidate, you’ve got a good party, people will vote for them.’

If chilli crab is too pricey for your taste, you may want to settle for roti prata, which you can still get for less than $1.50 these days. Probably one of Lim Swee Say’s all-time favourite local dishes, as suggested in his 2008 speech on inflation.

‘We need to ensure there is economic growth, job creation and that Singaporeans are trained to get the jobs…The most important thing is that a person has a job so he can pay 70 cents for the roti prata, and the Government and unions help pay for the extra 10 cents.’
In an S21 article titled ‘Attracting Talent vs Looking after Singaporeans’ (author unknown), roti prata and pie was cited to justify foreign talent in what at first glance appears to me to as sexually charged innuendo:

Foreign talent does not just help to enlarge our economic pie but also make our pie tastier and more diverse in flavour. They introduce the croissant to supplement our roti prata.

I thought we had Delifrance long before we lapsed into a foreign worker addiction. Such sleazy analogies, but perhaps not too far off the truth. Speaking of spicy, laksa was used as a cross-Straits, goodwill analogy by Minister of State David Lim in 2001 as an example of how Singapore and Malaysia are in fact ‘the same, yet different’.  The difference is that the Penang version made it to the top rankings of the world’s most delicious foods last year but our laksa did not.

One example of an unfortunate use of food analogy was George Yeo’s ‘Kuay Teow Hot and Nice’ campaign during the last GE, which was in fact a well-meaning but torturous acronym of sorts:

K for Kampong spirit, U for Upgrading, A for Ageing well, Y for Young families, T for Transportation, E for Eating and shopping, O for Our heritage and W for WIFI.

No sane voter would memorise what KUAYTEOW stands for, unless, on hindsight, it means ‘Kicked U Anyway, You’re Too Easy, Opposition Won’. Char Kuay Teow, of course, is the quintessential ‘welcome home’ dish that everyone likes to claim they miss the most when they’re away for home, the culinary equivalent of kissing the ground upon stepping back on the motherland. I’m sure George Yeo still has some hot and nice feelings for his ‘Char Kuay Teow’, Aljunied GRC.

Not all food analogies were delivered with such steamy affection. ‘Rojak’, for example, has been used condescendingly by politicians as an analogy for garbled government with too many opposition members. And of course, there’s this.

Overnight queueing for Lim Chee Guan Bak Kwa

From ‘S’poreans queueing overnight for bak kwa’, 15 Jan 2012, article in insing.com, translated from SM Daily

…Singaporeans are even queuing up through the night to get their bak kwa this time round. Well known bak kwa store Lim Chee Guan saw its stock sold out within 75 minutes of its opening at 9am this morning.

…The prices of bak kwa has also risen from $48 per kg yesterday to $50 per kg today.Each person was limited to buying 30kg yesterday, and the limit lowered to 20kg per person today.

Bak kwa prices are expected to rise further as Chinese New Year, the biggest day of the year for the Chinese, inches closer. One of those in the queue, Ms Chen, told reporters that she had taken a taxi from Hougang to New Bridge Road at about 6am to get the bak kwa. Together with five others, the group queued for four hours before they managed to buy their bak kwa.

The group planned to spend $6,000 to buy 120kg of bak kwa for their relatives and friends, and to give out to company employees. They had even arranged for vehicles to help carry the bak kwa back.

Many in the queue also appeared prepared for the long wait as some came with portable chairs while others were seen leisurely reading the papers. Reporters spoke to some folks in the queue, asking why they would spend so much time queuing for bak kwa. They explained that this is because the bak kwa here is delicious, and they get to feel the festive vibe by joining the queue.

The festive vibe is Bak

More than a week to go to CNY and the price of Lim Chee Guan bak kwa has already escalated to $50/kg. Last year, according to KeropokMan’s blog, it hit $52/kg on Jan 30 at LCG Chinatown, and an anecdotal forum complaint in 2011 cited $54/kg at the LCG in Ion Orchard, both prices surpassing the ‘Big Five-O’ which bak kwa lovers  feared in 2008.  There’s even a Bak Kwa Index to monitor ‘sizzling’ prices over the days leading up to CNY. According to a 2007 report, LCG raised its price to $44 from $38 a month earlier, more than 2 weeks before CNY on Feb 18 that year. The 2007 $2 increase per week seems conservative in light of how the same rise occurred A DAY this CNY.

A writer to the ST called the bak kwa companies ‘oligopolistic’, and swore to avoid the fatty snack altogether. Such profiteering was apparent in the early 2000′s, when $48/kg bak kwa was already in existence. But what’s curious about the CNY-bak kwa phenomenon is despite the hike, or BECAUSE of it, the queues have taken on similar characteristics to the HnM line last year; overnight camping and bak kwa lovers treating what appears to me is a sheer waste of time as some kind of ‘occasion’. 6 to 8 hour queues were unheard of when people first began jacking up the prices, and counter-intuitively, the higher the price per kg, the longer the wait. I’d rather spend the time spring cleaning my kitchen fridge, cabinets and all windows in my house.

Even more puzzling is how bak kwa can be taken for granted when it’s readily available throughout the year, when other seasonal goodies like pineapple tarts and love letters fail to take on the allure of scarcity to justify a price increase. A common argument is that prices of pork and oil have increased, but hasn’t everything else? Like flour, eggs, pineapples? The economics of bak kwa price hikes aside, there could be other human factors behind the absurd success of bak kwa, that people are willing to wait for ages and fork out such money for a few slices of dried BBQ meat, which in the Western context, is something you can prepare at home by simply plonking pork jerky over a weekend grill.

Surprisingly, it’s not so much the actual TASTE of Lim Chee Guan’s meat that draws the crowds. In a 2009 blind taste test, Lim Chee Guan was rated similarly to Bee Cheng Hiang, though both were chosen as top picks. BCH, of course, is the Sakae Sushi of bak kwa. I might as well buy a lot of bak kwa from the nearest mall, remove the packaging, trick my guests with a miserable tale of how I queued in the rain for 6 hours in Chinatown, and they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. In fact, even if they COULD tell the difference (which would rank them above the experts), they wouldn’t dispute and embarrass their host in the spirit of CNY. Perhaps the brand name helps too, since naming a bak kwa company after an actual person has a ring of authenticity to it, bringing to mind images of its founder (who happens to be NOT called Lim Chee Guan) sweating over the flames, stoking his moist, sweet hand-cut meats to crispy perfection.

What about  auspiciousness then? According to food guru K.F Seetoh, bak kwa is ‘long yoke’ in Cantonese, which means a ‘robust fortune ahead’, though true only for bak kwa sellers rather than those eating it  (more like robust ‘myocardial infarction risk’ ahead). Steeped in tradition and a ‘die-die-must-have’ staple aside, I’m hazarding a theory that it’s not the taste, or the ‘meaning’ behind bak kwa that drives people to camp overnight for what’s possibly the unhealthiest, most carcingogenic containing CNY goodie of all. Buying bak kwa is a gesture to show how much you’re willing to splurge and sacrifice for your guests, and the more expensive it gets, the longer the wait, the more generous and altruistic it makes you look, no matter how it ends up tasting like marinated cardboard.  Nothing scores more points than a gift of expensive bak kwa to your boss, or a prospective parent-in-law. It also helps that queuing happens to be a Singaporean pasttime, which pretty much explains everything.

Singaporeans suffering from PAP fatigue

From ‘PAP incapable of reinventing itself: Catherine Lim’, article by Fann Sim, sg.yahoo news.

…”Reinvention would require the opening up of one crucial area that the government is determined to have tight control over. This is the area of political liberties — open debate, criticism, independence of the media, public assembly, street demonstrations for the cause, all of which are taken for granted in practising democracies.

“Over the years, the government had rather reluctantly made some concessions –  allowing the speaker’s corner, relaxing some censorship laws, tweaking a rule here, tinkling with another law there, but never going beyond these small legal offerings. Singaporeans have no choice but to accept because there was nothing better.”

…Lim also added that there is a “PAP fatigue” among Singaporeans that is a result of PAP’s lack of nurturing Singaporeans politically, and failing to provide the proper environment for political education and growth. “Ideally, as long as they don’t open up, and as long as political dissidents feel like they can be punished some other way. … then the so called transformation from the GE will be at best a partial one,” said Lim.

This idea of the PAP renewing and remaking itself isn’t new, and whether they are slowly delivering on their past promises to reboot a ‘tried and tested’ system of governance is up for debate. The ministerial pay issue, for example, would be readily cited by those affected as a key step in the transformative process, or the fact that you could insult an MP on Facebook and be let off with nothing more than a deletion of your post instead of being sued. You can’t get both sides of the fence to agree on what ‘reinvention’ means. Critics call for a complete change of mindset or a two-party state, while to the PAP it would merely refer to the injection of new blood, less ironclad ruling, or any form of compromise that maintains the status quo short of changing the uniform or even the lightning logo. Getting the PAP brand to overhaul its product is like telling Nike to erase its ‘swoosh’. But here’s a lowdown of how long the PAP has boasted about ‘transforming’ and ‘remaking’ itself, without so much as giving itself a second coat of white paint, the only difference lying in going through the motions.

Back in 2004, PM Lee Hsien Loong had this to say about ‘shedding the old PAP’:

We cannot be the same old PAP…The Government is pulling back to give people more space. We are involving people more in the decisions that affect them.

And then they made the executive decision to build two IRs, mow down Bukit Brown cemetery and run an expressway through Rochor, leaving the people no choice in the matter. This ‘consultative and inclusive’ style was brought up again in a recent plea last year to the party to ‘reinvent’ itself, and only time will tell if such promises to change and engage will prevail or turn out to be bloated rhetoric that will be put on playback every couple years or so just before the GE.

Earlier in the last decade, ‘reinvention’ was all about being less of a fuddy-duddy and more in tune with the youth of the nation. In 2002, Goh Chok Tong announced his plan to set up a ‘REFRESHING PAP committee‘, and said that unlike Singapore, the PAP did not need to ‘remake itself’, only some ‘refreshing’ to win over the younger generation in the interest of self-preservation. The only difference between the PAP ‘freshening’ up and ladies excusing themselves to touch up their faces is that the ladies look much better after, even if both activities are purely cosmetic in nature.

In 2006, PM Lee asked for a more ‘hip and happening’ PAP, launching a Young PAP party at Zouk from behind the DJ console. It’s amazing how Zouk remains hip till this day after this incident; it’s like the Pope washing his hands in the Devil’s bathroom.

DJ Loong is in the House

And yet, the PAP remains as fuddy-duddy and boring as ever, no matter how many Black Eyed Peas songs they ‘get jiggy with’ at their party anniversaries. Let’s face it, PAP was not made for ‘cool’, and anything they touch in an attempt to portray a hip image will turn grandfather-clock old in an instant. But being a total bore and killjoy shouldn’t stop one from governing wisely and effectively.

‘Re-vitalising’ the PAP in the 80′s meant creating the Youth Wing later to be known as Young PAP, to secure a batch of fresh politicians well versed in the machinations of the PAP. Again, this wasn’t so much a rethink of policies but an act of self-preservation, casting the illusion that giving the young ones a chance at leading the country is opening itself to a slew of novel ideas. Clearly, the ruling party needs to be more specific in what it means by self-transformation. Replying to Facebook comments and adopting a down-to-earth persona is one thing,  actually implementing one’s suggestion and improving lives is another. Meanwhile, political films and books not written by the cadre in white remain tightly regulated, international publications are still sued for defamation and the penal system still employs dungeon standards of barbarism to dish out justice.The PAP can renovate the house from floor to ceiling but leave the skeletons in its closet intact.

Promises, promises. Perhaps there’s only so much we can hope for.

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